The Vampire Queen

Chapter twenty

Brielle P.O.V

It’s been two weeks since i died, two weeks since I felt my heart beat.

That naïve, timid girl died and was replaced with me.

For the past few months I’ve been training to control my anger and hunger. It’s been excruciating, the hunger feels like fire licking up my throat, like I haven’t had a drop of water in days and when I get hungry I feel rage like over never known, like I could ripe anything or anyone apart to get even a drop to quench my thirst.

The others couldn’t believe it when I came home covered in blood and soaking wet clothes. I felt so hollow after the rage left, like a hollow shell of the person I once was, looking in the mirror it looks like me but its not, the features are the same but some how not. I would find myself standing still for long periods of time, not even thinking, not blinking or breathing. 

The others cried when they first saw me. They grieved the humanity that was killed. They grieved for the future that was taken from me, even though I’ll live for eternity, I won’t be able to have kids or do so many more things.

They grieved for the girl they raised. The girl that would get flushed from too much exercise, the girl that would mumble in her sleep, the girl that would wolf down food like it was her last meal on earth. but she's gone. 

the first couple weeks was hard, I couldn't look in the mirror and didn't want to do anything, I just sat staring out my bedroom window, not even wanting to interact to the others, knowing the worry I will see in their eyes. but its getting better now, I'm finally starting to come to terms with it all now. I may not have a beating heart anymore, but I'm still the same person. 

"you ready?" Owen appears at my doorway.

"yeah, lets go." I say as i grab my boots and jacket off my bed.

todays the day, I really didn't know what to do with myself when this all first happened, I thought going to college and studying was pointless, but as I slowly started to come to terms with being a vampire , I realised that I can still have goals, I NEED to have goals otherwise this will be one boring eternity. so today I'm going back to college. I'm going to study art and literature. I decided to only take 2 courses for now since i have all the time in the world.

Owen is coming with me to make sure i still have control over the hunger and the rage encase the wolves are there that did this to me. he's going to wait outside each of my classes so he will always be with me. this last month has made me realise just how much i need these four wonderful people and even though we aren't biologically family they are mine.

we head out to his motorbike and head off to the campus. the weather isn't too bad today so that's something. the sun normally really irritates my skin so I'm learning to avoid sunny days, the only reason we can all go out in the day is thanks to this witch Elora grew up with before she got turned, she makes us all a lotion that helps prevent the uv rays from burning us, but its only able to protect us so much so we are to try to avoid sunny days.

we pull into the parking lot of the college and already I can tell its going to be a tough day. I can smell the most amazing faint smell of blood and its everywhere, just quickly glancing at people, i can see their veins pulsing and I'm trying hard to resist the pull to have just a sip, a drop of their sweet blood.

"try to focus on something else." Owen says snapping me out of it.

I just nod my head and walk to the arts building where my first class is. 

As i head into the classroom the smell is overwhelming. how do the others cope with this. i grab the thermos from my bag and take a quick swig and it helps ease the burning at the back of my throat and I can breather a little easier. as long as i keep doing this maybe ill get through the day.