đ CHAPTER FIVE đ
The bond was driving me insane.
Three days since the ritual, and I could feel Jaxon everywhere. His presence hummed under my skin like electricity, a constant awareness that made concentration impossible. When he was angry, heat flashed through my chest. When he was in pain, phantom aches bloomed in my bones.
And when he was trying not to think about meâwhich was constantlyâthe effort created a tension that made my teeth ache.
âEat something.â Marcus set a tray on the small table by the window. âYouâve barely touched your food since the binding.â
I picked at the sandwich heâd brought, my stomach churning. âHard to have an appetite when someone elseâs emotions are playing ping-pong in your head.â
âItâll settle. Henrik says the first week is always the worst.â
âAlways?â I looked up at him. âHow many blood bonds has your pack done?â
Marcus shifted uncomfortably. âNone. But the texts sayââ
âThe texts.â I laughed, but there was no humor in it. âGreat. So weâre all just winging it.â
âMayaââ
A wave of frustration crashed over me that wasnât my own. Somewhere in this compound, Jaxon was fighting the same connection that was slowly unraveling my sanity.
I stood abruptly, pacing to the window. âI can feel him. All the time. His anger, his guilt, hisââ I stopped, heat flooding my cheeks.
âHis what?â
I couldnât say it. Couldnât admit that underneath Jaxonâs hatred was something else entirely. Something that made my pulse race and my skin feel too tight.
âNothing. Itâs nothing.â
But Marcus was studying my face with beta intuition that missed nothing. âThe bond works both ways, Maya. Whatever youâre feeling, heâs feeling it too.â
The thought made my stomach flip. If I could sense his unwanted attraction, then he could feel mine. Every time my treacherous body responded to his presence, every flutter of awareness when he was nearâhe knew.
âThis is a nightmare.â
âItâs survival.â Marcusâs voice gentled. âFor both of you.â
That night, I lay in the too-soft bed staring at the ceiling, hyperaware of Jaxonâs location two floors above me. I could feel him pacing, his agitation bleeding through the bond like acid.
Sleep was impossible. Every time I closed my eyes, phantom sensations drifted through the connectionâthe slide of fabric against skin, the weight of muscles moving under moonlight, the taste of frustration sharp on my tongue.
Around midnight, his presence shifted. Moving. Coming closer.
My heart started hammering before I heard the first footstep in the hallway.
The door opened without a sound. He slipped inside like smoke, closing it behind him with careful precision. In the darkness, he looked more dangerous than everâall sharp angles and predatory grace.
âCanât sleep either?â I sat up, pulling the covers to my chest.
âThis is your fault.â His voice was rough, strained. âThis connection, this constantââ
âMy fault? I was on my f*****g own when you kidnapped me and forced this damn blood bond on meâ I shot back. âYou think I asked to have your emotions bouncing around in my head like pinballs?â
He moved closer to the bed, his movements jerky with suppressed tension. âI can feel everything you feel. Every breath, every heartbeat, every time youââ
He cut himself off, running a hand through his dark hair.
âEvery time I what?â
âNothing.â
âTell me.â
âEvery time you react to me.â The admission came out like a confession torn from his throat. âEvery flutter of awareness, every spike of adrenaline when Iâm near. I feel all of it.â
Heat flooded my cheeks. âThatâs notâI donâtââ
âDonât lie. Not when I can taste it through the bond.â
I wrapped my arms around my knees, trying to make myself smaller. âSo what do you want? To mock me for it?â
âI want it to stop.â He moved to the window, putting distance between us. âI want to hate you the way you deserve to be hated.â
âHave at it, sir. Go ahead and keep hating me.â
âNo.â He turned back to me, and the raw honesty in his face stole my breath. âI hate you. I hate everything about you, everything you represent, every breath you take in my territory.â
âMmmhmmmâ
âBut what I hate the most, is the fact that I canât stop my body from wanting you.â The words came out like a growl, full of self-loathing and frustrated need. âAnd itâs killing me.â
The air between us crackled with tension. I could feel his hunger through the bond, dark and consuming and completely unwanted. It mixed with my own treacherous attraction, creating a feedback loop that made my skin burn.
âJaxonââ
âDonât.â He was across the room in three strides, his hands braced on either side of my head against the headboard. âDonât say my name like that.â
I looked up at him, trapped between his arms and the wall behind me. This close, I could see the flecks of silver in his grey eyes, could smell his scentâpine and leather and something uniquely him.
âI donât want this,â I whispered.
âNeither do I.â
âThen leave.â
âI canât.â His voice broke on the words. âDonât you understand? The bond wonât let me stay away. Every minute Iâm not near you feels like suffocating.â
I could feel the truth of it through our connectionâthe constant pull that drew him to me despite his hatred, the way fighting it exhausted him.
âI donât want to fight it anymore.â
âJaxonââ
Before I could say another wordâŠhe kissed me.
It wasnât gentle or romantic or any of the things first kisses were supposed to be. It was desperate and angry and full of three daysâ worth of suppressed need.
His mouth moved against mine like he was trying to devour me, like he could somehow consume the connection between us and make it disappear.
I kissed him back with equal desperation, my hands fisting in his shirt to pull him closer.
Through the bond, I could feel his shock at my response, his hunger spiking when I opened my mouth under his.
This was wrong. He was my captor, my enemy, the man whoâd admitted he wanted me dead.
But the magic between us didnât care about logic or self-preservation.