Her World

Chapter Four "Sky"

   A beautiful summer evening, a small breeze blowing through through the land. Birds flying across the hills, chirping as they fly to their nests while their hatch-lings wait patiently for their return. Home, from what I read in books, home is a warm welcoming place that offers sanctuary from your fears. But what I know as a home is far from safe, or welcoming. Is my life really what books call dysfunction? "I just sit here, day and night imagining I'm somewhere better," but where is a better place? I get lost in these pointless thoughts when I hear those hauntingly familiar foot steps that march in unison.

   I turn around, and look to see that shiny, white, metal-like suit tower over the hut and me. I look up to see the commander looking down at me, but why do I feel hollow instead of excited. I should be excited to see the one that saved me, so I can't let him see me emotional right now, just happy. I give a slight smile then turn away to look at the sky again, I hear him moving closer to me. Sitting there, I say no words, only because I can't think of anything, or if he even understands me. The captain, the their soldiers depart again leaving us alone. I feel awkward, so I try to concentrate on the sky above to break this choking air around me. "It's toasty today isn't it?" I say while fanning myself, let's just say I wasn't at all expecting him to ever show up again. The Commander just nods his head once, I stare at him still wondering why he chose me, he's powerful, he controls everything so he can have an equally strong human as a pet. I didn't realize I was staring at him for so long, until he broke me of my thoughts by running what would be his finger from my forehead down my nose, stopping then pulling away. I look at him again confused, "Your name."

   I'm stunned by this response, "My name?" He nods his head again.

   "I don't have one." I say still stunned that he can speak. Oh my goodness! He can talk!  I turn away from him whilst thinking this, and more importantly why does he want to know my name? He's stays silent for a while, I just continue to stare off into space trying not to show my shock and amazement.

   "I give you name," He says this word for word. I don't look back only because I've never thought about a name. I mean I always wanted one but never put thought into it from when I said I have no one to share it with. Although, why does he suddenly want to give me one? I keep staring at the hills thinking why, and he continues to stay silent.

   "Why?" I muster up the courage to finally ask.

   "You mean a lot." He says this while looking at me, leaning close enough for me to understand his soft tone.

   "What name?"

   He breaks his look from me to look up, then back at me, "Sky."

   I stare at him silent, processing the name in my head. Am I being given a name? Does the commander really care about me enough to do this?

   "Sky," I say as I stare from him to the sky itself, such a lovely gesture considering I always sit here and gaze at the sky all of the time. Tears flow down my cheeks as I shut my eyes closed tightly, coming to terms that I'm not alone anymore. I thought he forgot about me, was I wrong this whole time thinking he is mean to everyone?

   "I like that name!" I say ecstatically as I jump up, and hug him again.

   "I watched you, always looking up." He watches me? I don't break my hug but I ask, "I thought you forgot about me." I start crying, I didn't mean to but I can't help it.

   "Never."

   He wraps an arm around me, pulling me up to hold me. I didn't think they were capable of showing acknowledgement to us humans, that they only knew us as objects.

   Coughing the words through my crying, "I am Sky."

   After calming down from the excitement we sat, and I conversed a little with the commander, now that I know he speaks a few words. This time he stayed for a long while, I even told him how sad I was about being alone. I didn't know if he understood everything I said but he stayed, and kept me company either way. Not long after he gave me another bag with clothes, trinkets, I thanked him as he touched my forehead to his as a goodbye. The captain and soldiers followed after him as they left, then I got off the roof, and rushed to my spot on the hill to watch them leave. I got up to it just as they were lifting leaving the ground, so I sat, and watched them wondering if the commander can see me from here. Like that they were gone in a few seconds, I stayed though to breathe in the crisp, fresh air. So he does watch over me, so now I won't feel so alone when he doesn't visit for long periods of time.

   After that visit, nearly three years have passed, and I have not seen him. Although I still believe he is watching over me.  Though I am ten years old now, I believe Tally would be close to four now. I haven't seen her yet either but still think about her, wondering how she's doing, or if I can somehow visit her without mother finding out. 

   I have been training more, getting stronger, and faster. I need to be my best to survive any challenge any living thing throws at me, I will encourage myself to defeat any obstacle in my way. Since the commander gave me my name I have been filled with pride, and confidence so I channeled those two things, and gained courage to not look away anymore. I now know I have the ability to break away from my pitiful past, and to protect the people that I care for. True they don't know I exist but I care for them regardless so I will protect them with the best that I could. 

   After I started my training I noticed that the hunts are coming up with fewer and fewer kills, I wonder if the hunting grounds are abandoned by the wildlife, hopefully not or the community will struggle. Every three months we are granted permission to go to the hunting grounds for a week straight, with each day new hunters are selected to go and bring back food before the sunset of that day. On top of that the hunts are broadcast around the world to them above, and people everywhere. I believe every community gets a hunting week like us, but livestock communities like ours don't get such privilege, probably because we're just biding our time being alive anyways. A little more information about the hunts is that we're chosen at random, at the age of thirteen to any age after that. So even boys and girls get a chance to go out of the gates, maybe one day I'll get a chance to go out there and see the rest of what the world looks like. 

   Running throughout the village really gave me confidence that I won't be bothered anymore, considering I once came face to face with that group of kids that hurt me. I was expecting them to do something so I stood my ground, but they all got up and left in the opposite direction. I felt a sense of pride but also I felt a bit, I don't know; like they only left me alone because of the commander. Like I'm not my own person, but private property that when touched or messed with then you get punished. I just want to make a name for myself rather than be someone's something, to be able to go somewhere and be welcomed with my identity. 

   Seven months later...

   There was another harvest, nothing different though. It's like everyone is still reeling from the time they took a quarter of the population without a prior notice, but after that the community runs like clock work. At the harvest last month I noticed the captain watching me, I tried to brush it off as maybe there was something around me that he noticed. But even after I left the center that day he followed me, so when I noticed him again I pretended to not notice, and I began climbing a nearby hut and jumped from one to another and kept at it until I thought I lost him among the huts all around. So I climbed back down, ran to the creek to get water. At the creek I kneeled down to dip my bucket in, "It sure is peaceful tonight." As I sigh in relief I hear a sound behind me so I stood up to quickly turn around to see the captain standing there. "Captain, can I help you with something." I ask as nonchalantly as I can, though deep down I am nervous. "Why did you run from me?"

   "Run from you, but I didn't know you wer-"

   "I saw you glance back at me at the corner of your eye." He said sounding frustrated.

   "I apologize captain, I won't do it again."

   "Good, I came to do the welfare check again." Huh? He just did that a few days ago, but I'm scared to say anything opposing.

   "Oh okay, can we continue this back home first?"

   "Lead the way."

   I get up with my full bucket in hand, and began walking back home with him walking behind. I get home and go inside to put the bucket on the stove, I then light a fire to boil the water. With that done I go back outside to meet with the captain to do the check up. Several awkwardly silent seconds pass with us just standing there looking at each other, "Umm, captain?"

   "Yes?"

   "The questions for the check up?"

   "Oh, right." Did he really forget the routine?

   "Captain, is there something wrong?" After I say this, he stays quiet for a few seconds longer.

   "Hmm, I don't want our commander to know about this meeting." He can't know, but why?

   "Why, captain?"

   "I am concerned about you."

   "Concerned about me? But I am fine," I say as I look down.

   "I know you are not, I have been around you humans a long time. I have also spent time deciphering the looks on your face that are constant."

   "Do not worry about me captain, just don't." Why am I feeling this tightening feeling in my chest again? I am no real concern for him so why is he worried now?

   "For five years, I have done my duty to look after you since our commander if busy. I have seen you grow strong, and fast, taking advantage of your title."

   I can't bring myself to say anything but just listen to him, this feeling in my chest isn't going away.

   "Sky, I want to know more about you, about the life you hide from the world." I look back up at him with tears threatening to break from my eyes.

   "But why captain? I am no one interesting." 

   "You are more important than you might think, otherwise our commander would have never chosen you as his companion."

   "What is important about me to you?"

   "Everything I have seen from you so far has always kept my attention on you, thriving, surviving, simply living your life happy on the outside, but I see your struggles that show on your face even when you try to hide them." I tried so hard all my life to hide this pain! Yet he sees it when he looks at me.

   "I do my best to make sure I can be someone's equal." I am such a cry baby, I can't even say a few words without choking up.

   He kneels down in front of me, leaning in closely, "And that is a great thing, your goals. But I don't have anymore time so I wanted you to know that I will be by your side from now on so you won't be alone anymore." He quickly wraps an arm around me and pulls me to him and gives a tight hug to where I can barely breathe. He lets go, but doesn't wait for an answer, he just leaves quickly. 

   Since then me and the captain chat a little when he comes to check on me, at first I found it weird how he suddenly told me that he wants to know me more. I have confessed a lot to him this past month so it had a big impact on my self esteem, He listened, gave me advice. He changed a lot from all those times he seemed so distant or not interested in me at all, but what made him talk to me like this now? I have to ask when I see him again. A plus side to our communication now, he calls me by my name, but more questions pop up like how does he know my name? he wasn't there when the commander named me. Maybe the commander told him? I have a lot of questions for him but very little time between our interactions. 

   By the time next week arrives, it is my birthday; May Twentieth. I am eleven years old now, I feel like time is flying past now that there is routines everyone follows. Well except me, the Commander, or Captain, or the leaders didn't place rules on me except that I stay here in the village. That's all I do, all I've done my whole life so I don't mind it. I kept some snacks i get to make a small cake out of them, I read in a book once about someone having a birthday party with all of their loved ones, and a pastry called cake with small candles that count the person's age, and gifts to show their love for another year with them. A nice annual gesture for someone, so I shall adopt this tradition. I will make a cake and wrap up one of the trinkets the commander gave me a long time ago as a gift. Today will be great! I will stay in today as well to just be home, and relax. especially since it's raining out, can't really do much with the heavy rains we get. As the day went on with no let up in weather, I finished my cake, and ate some, then I opened up my gift. Smiling while looking at the shiny little bear pin, remembering the last time I saw the commander. I'm just sitting here remembering him while humming the birthday song, and watching the fire in the stove. I reach for a blanket to cover up in now that the air got chillier out, I read another book about the worlds landscapes to get an idea of what it's like beyond these hills. Then a random thought came to me as I was playing with my collar, what is it made of? Or how does it stretch as I grow? Since I had it, it hasn't bothered my neck at all. I tried a few times back then trying to take it off, to no avail I lived with it and forgot about it until I randomly touch it. 

   "Sky?" I jumped out of my daydream to see the captain looking down at me with his head tilted.

   "Captain! You startled me, I was just day-"

   "Dreaming again?"

   "Yeah." I say with shy tone in my voice, I grew to be very nervous when I see the captain, I don't know why.

   "You spend too much time in your dreams, remember that dwelling in your mind takes you away from reality."

   "Sometimes the only way to escape reality is to dream."

   "Sky, we talked about relying on me to help you with whats going on in your mind."

   "I know, it's just hard to pull these feelings into words."

   "How do you feel right now for a start?"

   "I feel nervous, and I feel like I can't sit still." Only around you though.

   "Did you exercise today?"

   "Yes, I only just started feeling this way though."

   "Is it because of me?"

   "Yes."

   "Do I scare you?"

   "No! You don't, I just feel like this when I see you, or think about you."

   "Do you miss me when I'm not here?"

   "Yes, but I know I'll see you in a week's time so I don't worry."

   "I understand your feelings now."

   "You do? So what do you think they mean?"

   "I will not tell you, that's for you to figure out."

   "Oh come on! I tell you everything so now it's time for you to do the same for me!" I say with a little sarcastic attitude, we've come to joke with each other now.

   "Well this one time it is for you to find out on your own." He says this with a snickery tone, He just likes messing with me now.

   "Well fine! Then when I do figure it out, you owe me something!"

   "Fine, what would you like in favor?"

   "A picture book." I have never owned one, the captain only brings books with just print.

   "Fine, but until then you just get these books," He just hands me a book about space.

   "Thank you!" I then give him a hug, that he seems very surprised by. I hug him for several seconds before he pulls away saying, "We time is up, I have to go now." I step back and wave at him before turning to go back into the hut. He has learned a lot being around humans, so I wonder how many human friends he has around the world. I can't imagine, but I can see how he would have friends, he is everything a person would want in someone who is kind, protective, assuring, am I sure he's not human? He checked up on me again that next week ,but he said it would be the last time for a long time. I asked him why, and for how long, but he didn't say anything. He just asked the routine questions in a tense tone, and I answered obediently. With that he said, "Goodbye." And left without another word, not even looking back to reassure me that I'll see him again. I was left wondering what happened, or was he going somewhere far away? 

   Two years flew by, I still wonder what happened to the captain, or the commander. Five years since I last seen the commander, but still to go so long and no contact. Nothing major happened during the harvests, the captain still controlled the harvests too. Every time I sat and watched the harvest I tried not to pay attention to the captain, I felt like I had something to do with what had happened back then. So the past four harvests have been painful to attend, not only pity for the selected, but because how I felt every time the captain showed up. As soon as the harvests ended he would leave right away with the selected, as I would leave soon after too. The hunts also remained the same, a few good kills here and there. The next hunt is tomorrow too, and since I turned thirteen I wonder if I need to participate? I'll still show just to make sure, but other then that the community stayed the same, new births, life going on like a time capsule, or simply an ant hill. 

   I have to think about how I feel lately, every time I see, or think about the captain I get so nervous that I start to sweat. I don't know, he told me to figure it out but since he left I put those feelings behind me. Every now and then those feelings come up, but I just shut them out, someday they'll vanish like he did. 

   A long restless night later, it's morning. The first day of the hunting week will begin shortly, I better go wash up and get ready for the selection of the hunters. I head for the creek again after I changed into some pants and a tank top, maybe I should put up my hair too. My hair got really long since I never cut it, still wavy and black. I began washing my face and neck, my arms then I get my hair wet, while using my fingers to brush my hair back then using a thing leather strap to tie my hair into a messy ponytail. It's the best I can do, I never paid attention to hairstyles. I then get up to leave when I see those same kids from back then, they must be getting ready for the selection too. Well then, "Good luck to them."