Sway

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

I was lying on my bed, The Eric Wentworth Band resonating through my earbuds, when Lacey burst into my room. She always burst into every room, as if she couldn’t contain her general enthusiasm for life.

“Do you think Eric loves me?” she asked, her voice a mixture of hope and fear.

I pressed pause and pulled the earbuds from my ears. Eric’s voice faded away slowly, my head unwilling to let it go.

“What?” I asked, hoping I’d misheard.

She lay beside me and stared at the ceiling. “I’m crazy for him. Literally, I feel like I’m going crazy. When I’m with him, when I’m not with him…no matter what, I can’t think of anything else but Eric.”

“What’s going on?” Mari slouched into the room and dumped herself into the leather chair in the corner.

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever been in love. Actual, real love.” She sat up onto her elbows and showed us a face full of despair. “But I don’t know if he loves me back. He won’t say it.”

“Did you say it?” Mari asked.

Lacey bit her lip. “Yes.”

Mari squeezed onto the bed with us and put her arm around her sister-in-law and best friend. “He didn’t say it back?”

“No,” she whispered. She turned to me. “Ava, please. You would know. Do you think he loves me?”

My eyes widened in alarm. “How should I know?”

“Can’t you remember what he was like when he loved you?” She flipped her bleach-blonde curls over her shoulder and stared at me as if I held the key to the mysteries of the universe. “Does he act the same now as he did then? Who said the L word first, you or him?”

I wanted to run away. Or hide. Anything to get away from Lacey’s questions about Eric’s love. As if I knew anything about it now.

“He did,” I said. Her shoulders drooped. “But he’s completely different now. Seriously. We were nineteen, just kids. Relationships are never the same with different people anyway. I can’t compare what he was like with me to how he is with you.”

She sighed and lay back on the bed. “I suppose.” I exchanged glances with Mari. “I just feel like…like I’m missing something. Or I need to do something more.” After a breath, she sat up again. “Hey, do you think if I learned to play the piano, he’d be more into me?”

“Ooh, that’s a good idea,” Mari said. “Guys like it when you share their interests. That’s probably why Charlie and I hardly get along. I hate those stupid video games.”

“You guys get along,” I protested. Mari huffed. “Besides, it’s better to be yourself.”

“Maybe I’m not interesting enough,” Lacey said. “He’s dated models and stuff.”

Lacey was more interesting than a model, and just as beautiful. It was too bad she couldn’t see that.

“Eric never liked the stuck-up snobs in high school. He didn’t care about that kind of stuff. Don’t worry about who he used to date. He’s with you now.” Those last words were surprisingly hard to say.

“What do you think I should do?”

“Sleep with him,” Mari said.

“Mari!” An ugly shiver crept up my stomach to my throat.

Lacey looked at me. “You don’t think I should?”

“That is none of my business.” I didn’t want to hear one tiny detail. “Just be patient. If he loves you, he’ll say it. Maybe he’s just not ready yet.” I refrained from pointing out that they’d only been together a month. That wouldn’t mean a thing to Lacey.

She flopped back onto the bed. “It’s just so hard. I can envision our whole life together, you know? I even found my wedding dress. It’s Monique Lhuillier.” Mari and I shared a look. “I know that’s fast but I love him. When you love someone, why wait?”

I looked away. Those had been Eric’s exact words to me. I could write up a list of ‘why wait’ a mile long, but I knew Lacey wouldn’t listen. Eric hadn’t.

“I’ll try and be patient,” Lacey said. She got up and adjusted her mini skirt. “I feel like we’re meant to be. I’ve just gotta wait until he feels it too.”

“I still think you should sleep with him,” Mari called out as Lacey left. She waved her hand behind her as if to dismiss the comment.

Mari faced me on the bed. “Why do you think he hasn’t said it yet?”

I grimaced. “It’s only been a month. They barely know each other.”

“People fall in love that fast,” Mari said.

Lacey had. “Some people. Not everyone.” I didn’t know how long it took Eric to fall in love with me back in high school, but once he was sure, there was no going back. But then I’d broken his heart. That could have made him more cautious now, or less.

“Maybe something’s up with him.” Mari’s eyes darted side-to-side and then she whispered, “Maybe he’s married! He loves Lacey but can’t tell her because he already has a wife!”

“Mar—”

“No, wait, I know! He’s gay! He’s using Lacey as a cover girlfriend so people won’t find out.”

“He’s not gay,” I said. “Trust me.”

“Evil twin?”

“Mari, geez.”

“Hmm, well something fishy is going on. I want to know what.”

Mari wouldn’t let this go until she found some juicy piece of gossip that wouldn’t be true anyway. She’d probably start stalking him.

“Nothing fishy is going on. He’s probably not ready yet, that’s all.”

“Well, he should be,” she grumbled. “I’m trying to live vicariously through Lacey here and he’s ruining it for me.”

I took a moment and really studied my sister. Bags were prominent under her eyes and her whole face looked droopy. If Dad saw her, he’d toss serums at her and run away. “What’s wrong? Did something happen with Charlie?”

She turned away but not before I could see tears welling in her eyes. “No. It’s fine.”

I put my hand on her back. “You’re not fine.”

She covered her face with her hands and hunched over. “I’m just so sick of being ignored all the time,” she sobbed. “All Charlie cares about are his stupid games. He wants to hang out with Eric but never with me. And he never talks to me anymore.”

I rubbed her back. “Have you tried talking to him about this?”

She sniffled. “Sort of. He just says ‘it’s my job,’ like that makes it okay.”

It was probably hard for Charlie to separate home and work when he worked from home. And he really enjoyed his job. Add in the fact that Mari was often depressed or throwing her hypochondria around and he probably used his video games as an escape.

Mari turned around. “Will you say something to him?” she pleaded.

I didn’t really want to get in the middle of their problems, but when Mari needed me, I couldn’t say no. “Of course.”

She gave me a hug. “Thanks, Ava,” she said into my shoulder. “You’re the best.”

My heart ached for her, my little sister who had always been so fragile. She needed her mother here to give her advice. Mom would know exactly what to do or say—she’d handled my father all those years. But neither of us had her to turn to. It was left to me.