Let's not fall in love

Kabanata 5

I tried to resist when they pulled my hands, pero wala rin akong nagawa kung 'di magpatianod. Sumakay sila ng sasakyan at sakto namang dumating ang magsusundo kay Aia, kaya mabilis kaming sumakay.

"Kuya, sundan mo ang pulang sasakyan,"

Huminto ang sasakyan nila sa mall, kaya nagmadali kaming bumaba at maingat na sinundan sila. Pumasok sila sa bookstore kaya pumasok din kami at nagkukunwaring nagtingin-tingin ng mga libro just to make sure na hindi nila kami mapapansin.

We went across their shelves and pretended to read some books. With a little space in between, I saw Clay's lips move upward when Elish showed her the book. They both looked at each other with smiles ear to ear.

Emely and Aia went on my side and they exchanged glances.

After they paid, we continued to follow them to a boutique and afterward, to a restaurant. From our view, you could say they were like a couple dating, and we were the paparazzi.

Tumayo ako kung saan kami nakaupo, akmang aalis na nang hinawakan nila ang kamay ko.

"Teka lang, san ka pupunta?" tanong nila sa akin.

"Ayoko na! Kanina pa natin sila sinusundan para na tayong paparazzi dito oh!" reklamo ko.

Actually, nakakahiya na ang ginagawa namin dahil pumasok kami sa restaurant at may lumapit na waiter. Pero dahil busy kami kakatingin sa kanila, nakatayo lang ito sa gilid namin at nag-aantay kung oorder ba kami.

"Let's just wait, wala pa tayo sa c****x," pabulong na sabi ni Emely.

Napabalik na lang ako sa upuan at nahihiyang ngumiti sa waiter.

Pagkatapos nilang kumain, sumakay na ulit sila ng sasakyan, kaya nagmadali rin kaming sumakay at sumunod.

Nagtataka kami ni Emely dahil patungo sila sa village ni Aia, which is the same village as Clay. As we suspected, the car stopped in front of Clay's house, and they both went inside.

The two looked at each other suspiciously.

"Baka open-minded siya, hehe," biro ni Emely.

After we followed them, marami silang mga hinala. I just kept quiet, letting their voices fade in the background. We couldn't judge based only on what we saw. I've known Clay since preschool. He was that type of boy everyone liked—polite, friendly, always smiling like the world had never done him wrong. I remember watching him from afar back then, too shy to even say hi. He was the kind of person who could make anyone feel seen, and maybe that's why people naturally gravitated toward him.

And maybe that's why I wanted to be his friend.

But I never tried.

Because of Nicholas.

Unexpectedly, he became our student teacher when I was in grade 8. Alone at the back, he came near me and, for whatever reason, gave me a chocolate bar. After that, he constantly asked if I was okay, and whenever he saw me all alone, he accompanied me. I didn't know why he was being nice, but I realized it was just his personality—completely different from men in general.

I have had a little crush on him since then, and admired him from afar. He was so nice that his actions might confuse you if you didn't know him well, but I just secretly admired him quietly.

Hindi na namin pinag-usapan pa at binalewala kung ano mang nakita sa kanila. Hindi naman puwedeng gumawa kami ng issue dahil lang sa nasaksihan namin. Isa pa, maraming posibilidad kung bakit sila magkasama. Either they are friends or relatives — we cannot guess. Pero buti na lang, tahimik ang dalawa at hindi pinagsabi, lalo na si Emely. Ang daldal pa naman nun.

Break time na, pero nag-decide akong pumunta sa library dahil dumami na ang mga pinapagawa ng mga instructors namin. Medyo nahihirapan din ako sa math subject, kaya kailangan kong mag-aral. I am wearing an earpods while doing my assignment kaya hindi ko napansin na may umupo sa harap ko.

Napaangat ako ng tingin at nakita ko si Clay na nakangiti sa harap ko. Biglang bumilos ang t***k ng puso ko sa gulat at napaupo ng tuwid. Tinanggal ko ang earpods sa tenga ko at sinalubong ang tingin niya.

"Where are your friends? Are you here alone?" tanong niya.

"Hindi ako lang mag-isa."

Tiningnan lang niya ang ginagawa ko at bumaling ulit sa akin.

"Have you eaten? It's already break time," he sounded concerned.

Biglang pumasok sa isipan ko ang nagdaang araw na sinundan namin sila. I looked around kung kasama niya ba si Elish pero hindi ko ito nakita. Tumingin ako sa kanya at tipid na ngumiti.

"Hindi pa. Medyo nahirapan kasi ako sa math subject namin, kaya ginawa ko na," mahinhin kong sagot.

"Want me to help you?"

Hindi na niya inantay ang sagot ko at lumipat sa tabi ko, tiningnan niya ang notebook ko kaya nakita ko ng malapitan ang mukha niya. His skin was smooth, almost glowing in the light. His eyebrows curved just right, giving his gaze an irresistible pull. The line of his nose and the angles of his cheekbones led down to a jaw that was strong but not harsh—something about him made my heart skip without me even realizing.

Umiling-iling ako habang mapatitig sa kanya ng matagal. Itinuon ko ang pansin sa tinuturo niya, pero minsan hindi ko maiwasan mapatitig lalo na kapag ngumingiti siya. Mukhang mas lalo akong walang matututunan.

Sampung minuto na lang ang natitira bago matapos ang break time kaya niligpit ko na ang mga gamit ko. Nagmadali rin si Clay na umalis, pero sabi niya, hintayin ko raw siya saglit.

Lumabas na ako at doon ko na lang siya hinintay.

Tahimik ang hallway, tanging mga yabag lang ng ilang estudyanteng nagmamadaling pumasok sa klase ang naririnig ko .Tumingin ako sa relo ko. Ilang minuto na lang bago magsimula ang next subject, pero wala pa rin siya.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga at pinaglaruan ang strap ng bag ko. San ba siya pumunta? Mauna na kaya ako?

Napatingin ako sa kabilang hallway at nakita ko si Nicholas na mariing nakatingin sa gawi ko. Iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanya at sakto namang dumating si Clay, huminto ito sa harap ko at hingal na hingal.

"You haven't eaten yet, I just bought you some snacks."

Napatingin ako sa binigay niya. There were sandwiches and drinks. Tatanggihan ko sana dahil nakakakahiya, kaso ay nagpumilit siya, kaya tinanggap ko na lang at nagpasalamat.

Inilagay ko sa bag ko ang binigay sa akin ni Clay. Hindi ko naman siya na kain dahil dumating agad ang instructor namin. Naglalakad kami pauwi nang humarang sa daraanan namin si Nicholas. Nagtataka ako sa kanya nang inabot niya sa akin ang mga libro at notebook.

"Do my assignment, tutal naman may tumutulong sa iyo," sarkastikong sabi niya, tapos umalis.

Napakagat na lang ako ng labi sa inis habang pinagmamasdan ang pag-alis niya.