Gem City

Chapter 14

“Save Tonight” – Eagle Eye Cherry

“To Be With You” – Mr. Big

Ethan drove her back to Vanessa"s shortly before curfew.

“So, I sort of have a present for you,” he told her as they pulled up by the house.

“You really didn"t have to get me a gift.” The thought of him buying something for her made her feel somewhere between giddy and guilty.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I didn"t buy it,” he explained, reaching into the backseat. He pulled out two small packages wrapped in pink sparkly paper. The one on top was adorned with a big white bow. Her eyes widened at all of the glitter.

“Can I open it now?”

“Of course, hence the gift-giving.”

“ "Hence"? Did you download the SAT Vocabulary app I told you about?” She laughed.

“I"d rather not comment.” He grinned that eyelash-fluttering grin. “Now open the present, it"s killing me.” Courtney unwrapped the flat package on the bottom first. It was a CD case, but when she pulled it apart, there was nothing inside. Flipping it over, the cover had her name written on it simply with black marker and a heart. She raised her eyebrows questioningly, making him laugh.

“Well, I gave the actual CD to Vanessa so she could load it onto her laptop. You should be able to transfer all of the songs easier to your phone or iPod that way. I still wanted you to open it though. I know it"s very 90s of me, but I thought you might appreciate that. I also thought it was less awkward than handing you a flash drive. There are some songs I know you like, some you will but don"t know it yet, and two that I wrote and recorded in the studio where I teach.”

“You recorded your songs? That"s awesome, Ethan. I"m so mad Vanessa knew about this before me. I wanna hear it right now.”

“Well, I can arrange that,” he said, plugging in his phone to the stereo system. She recognized the song she"d heard him sing at the bonfire that night.

She met his gaze. “Thank you.” She listened intently.

“Do you really like it? Like it"s not too cliché to basically make you a mixed tape?”

“Not in the slightest. I love it. I do wish the cover was a photo of you in your speedo though, because I"m still having a hard time picturing that one. Your mom seemed to like me; she might dig out a photo if I asked.”

“Yeah, that"s never gonna happen,” he warned lightly, “but you can keep dreaming. You still have to open the other present, though.”

“Oh! More, I forgot.” She carefully opened the paper to the smaller square box. It was so light it didn"t feel like anything was inside, but when she opened it, she understood. “This is the ring that you always wear,” she conveyed quietly.

“Well, I was hoping that it might be the ring you always wear, for now, at least while we have to be apart. I don"t know if it will even fit your thumb, but I could get you a chain or something.” Courtney slid the thick silver band onto her thumb. It fit just right. She twirled it around with her finger, memorizing the black etchings on the sides.

“This is… kind of perfect.”

“I wanted to buy you something sparkly, but I couldn"t make up my mind, and I didn"t know what was, like, "fashionable" or whatever. Being in the jewelry section of the store made me feel incredibly out of place.” Courtney smiled inwardly at the thought of Ethan perusing the jewelry counter at the mall. “I like this better anyway. I noticed this ring the first time I saw you. It"s a great present.” He intertwined his fingers with hers and admired the band on her finger.

“I realize you"re going to be mad at me for this, but I want to tell you something. I know you"ve ignored the fact that I"ve been calling you my girlfriend, and I hope that"s just in solidarity to your decision not to discuss this until the last moment. But I"m going to talk about it now.”

While her initial reaction was to shy away from the topic, she kind of liked his insistence. She had felt that this was coming after the night they"d had together, so she nodded patiently and listened. There was a fire beginning in her chest, the uncertainty about what he had to say fanning the flames. “I am in love with you. Like crazy in love with you, and I don"t want to be with anyone else, okay? No matter how far away you are. What"s the point of having cell phones with video chat and text messaging if not to make a long distance thing work? I just can"t say goodbye to you in three days and go back to how my life was before. Homecoming is like six or seven weeks away or something; we can do that,” he stated emphatically. She kissed him hard, hoping for the bravery to say what she wanted to say, all the while worrying that he might agree with her. His plan sounded so enticing, but she knew she couldn"t just jump in without covering her bases first.

doShe started slowly. “I want you to know that I am on board with making this work. I have never felt like this about anyone, and I don"t want it to end in three days. I wasn"t sure what to make of you referring to me as your girlfriend, and I didn"t want to make a big thing of it if it wasn"t one to you-”

“Courtney, you"re so… you. You accept that I"m in love with you, but the word "girlfriend" throws you off? I don"t toss around that word casually, by the way. If I"m being honest, I"ve tried to avoid it like the plague for most of my life.”

She laughed slightly at his admission. “I know, it just, well, it wasn"t what I expected, coming here this summer. You know? And I really doubt you expected it either, let alone with someone who lives 1,802 miles away. Yes, I mapped it. So, I need us to be real for a minute. If we decide to do this, and be together and say to hell with the distance, then know that I"m all in, okay? But do you really want to do this? It"s your senior year. You"re still kind of new in town, there are probably a lot of girls you haven"t met, and-”

do“I don"t want another girl, I want you.”

“I want you too. I just don"t know that you"re going to want me when we can"t be together, and you have girls throwing themselves at you when you play a show. Yes, I looked around at the festival, and there is no shortage of opportunity for you. I can tell you right now that"s going to be difficult for me to think about, knowing I can"t be here. I guess what I"m trying to say is that I"m giving you the chance to walk away with no backlash, no drama. We spend the next few days together and stay friends.”

He was uncharacteristically silent for too long. “I can"t be your friend, Courtney. Did you seriously just say "let"s be friends" to me? After tonight?” His eyes flashed with an emotion she couldn"t quite put her finger on.

“No! Well, I mean, yes. Ugh, I"m not saying that"s what I want. But would I rather have you as my friend and in my life than as my ex? Yes. If I could, I would stay here with you, Ethan, but I think it"s something that you should take some time to think about. I just don"t want you to resent me because you"re stuck in this awkward space where you have the limits of having a girlfriend but none of the perks. Please, just think about it. I love you.” Please don"t tell me I"m right. Tell me I"m wrong. Her stomach was in her throat all at once.

Please don"t tell me I"m right. Tell me I"m wrong.“I don"t need to think about it, I"ve been thinking about it since I kissed you in the entryway. I need you to believe me when I tell you that we can do this.” His tone was insistent.

Courtney breathed slowly. She did want to believe him. She knew she just had to make the choice to do it, to make herself open to having her heart broken, to trust him while they were apart, and to let herself imagine a future with him. “Ok,” she said simply, looking into his warm brown eyes.

did“Okay, as in you will use the word "boyfriend" and refrain from making out with any other guys?” he clarified jokingly.

“Yes on both accounts.” She smiled an actual smile. One that wasn"t put on to cover up anything else. Just because she couldn"t not smile. “Have I told you how amazing tonight was, boyfriend?” She spoke softly, pulling him towards her.

not“Have I told you how ridiculously sexy you look in that dress, girlfriend?” he replied, kissing her. Her whole body responded to his touch, and she wanted nothing but to stay there with him, the cool breeze floating through the windows and her head abuzz with the implication of their decision.

girlfriend“I really do need to go inside.” Her dismay was clearly written on her face.

“I know,” he answered, kissing her again. It appeared that he had no intention of ending their night just yet.

She smiled against his lips and playfully nudged him, “I knew you were going to get me in trouble the moment I saw you. Now be a gentleman and walk me to the door before Vanessa comes out here and yells at you.”

“Whatever you say, sprinkles.” He sighed with resignation. They walked hand in hand to the door, and Ethan continued his adoration of her until she was weak in the knees.

“You"re not playing fair,” she half-complained. “You know what you do to me when you kiss me like that.”

“I have no idea what you"re talking about. You mean like this?” and he traveled the length of her neck with his lips.

“Something like that, yeah,” she replied, barely breathing. He smiled at her and kissed her quickly one last time before opening the door to the house.

“I know you don"t want me to ask, but are you ok? With everything, with tonight?” He stood there, looking concerned.

“Yes. I"m wonderful. Really,” she insisted when he still looked worried. “Call me when you wake up.”

Really“I will. I love you.” He finally turned and walked back to his car. She admired the view as he sauntered away. When she closed the door, her head was spinning. The full significance of everything that had happened that night had not resonated yet. All that was going through her mind were images of them together, and she wanted to savor every single one. Her need to talk to her friend won out, however, and she tiptoed up to Vanessa"s room to see if she was still awake.

* * *

“Vanessa!” Courtney yelled in the loudest whisper possible. “Are you awake?”

“Of course I"m awake, you i***t!” Vanessa flipped on the bedside light. “I haven"t been able to sleep at all. Tell me everything.” Courtney tried to recall as many details of the night as possible. It was almost more for herself than for Vanessa; she didn"t want to forget anything.

“Oh. My. God. That is, like, the most freaking romantic s*x story anyone has ever had. And you"re welcome for the last minute addition to your purse,” she added. “I would give anything for my first time to have been like that.”

“Why, what happened?” Courtney questioned, not liking the shadow that darkened her friend"s expression. Vanessa had always been pretty tight lipped about her relationship with Zack Roads.

“Eh, nothing that needs discussing. Just saying I"m jealous.” Courtney gave her a quizzical look, but Vanessa shook her off as usual. “But how are you? I mean, kind of a big night, are you feeling okay about everything?”

“I am. I"m just… contented? Blissful? Happy? There are a lot of synonyms. But being with Ethan felt, I don"t know the word for it. Like I was finally where I was supposed to be. I do realize I sound like a really bad 80s love song, and you can feel free to stop me at any time, I am just walking on air right now.”

Happy“Not at all girl, I love it. But tell me more about "the big talk," what did you decide to do? It"s been killing me all summer.”

“I think we"re going to give it a shot. He says he can do it, and if I"m planning on coming back for college… I tried to reason with him because I know this sounds insane, but he was very insistent. So I guess I"ll get to ride the wave a while longer.”

“What if you guys get married, and it"s all because of me and my incredible match-making skills?” Vanessa asked. “Like, I want a special mention in the wedding program, maybe with a photo of me?” Her expression changed, making a model-esque face.

“Hold your horses there; I just have to make it to homecoming at this point.”

“Yes! Homecoming, well, of course you"ll stay here, what"s the problem? It"ll be so fun! We can get our hair done together, and I"ll do your makeup, just like we always talked about.”

“Hopefully my mom is on board with letting me come back out that soon. I will have to practice my powers of persuasion before I ask her,” Courtney mused. The magnitude of how much had changed in the last eight hours began to sink in, and they both decided sleep was in order. She hoped she wouldn"t wake up the next morning and find out it had all been a dream. Reliving the night in her mind, she drifted to sleep.