Fall in love and other problems

Chapter 15: "It's time"

1 month later

   A month has passed, it is not that I am aware of time but it is what they say, and here we continue. My friends and my family visit me daily and talk to me, they talk to me until they are speechless, until they cry, and I feel like it's time to wake up, but how do I do? How do I take control of my own body right now?

Hmm ... try repeating "I want to wake up"

   I want to wake up. I want to wake up. I want to wake up. I want to wake up. I want to wake up. I love ... hey, it doesn't work.

I never said it would work, I just said repeat that ...

   Ug I wish I could change you.

But you can't, it's you and me alone right now.

   Unfortunately.

Remember that I am your conscience, I am you. You yourself are thinking what you say but what I say too, that is, you are thinking what I am saying at this very moment. These are things that you want to say to yourself but you cannot, so you “invented” me to tell you but in reality there are two of you, you and me, or rather you and you.

   It may be that you are right, or that I am right ... let's stay in that you may be right but I will not say it yet.

"Hello" Cameron says sitting in the chair next to the bed, I already recognize all the sounds and obviously the voices. "Today only your parents, your brothers and I came because the boys had to go to high school and your little sisters needed to be distracted by going back to class".

>> "Please come back, I miss you how you don't have an idea. I went back to school, in the end I came back completely. But it is not the same without you, nothing is the same without you. Not the same school, not your house, not my house, when I moved, Spain was not the same without you, because every time I went you went with me. You are my unconditional companion, I do not care if it is as a friend or something else but I do not want to be without you, not now or ever, I want to have you always, I want to have you constantly in my life, I need you to be there with me accompanying me. Every day, all the time I want to be with you. When you wake up or think I'm going to leave you alone for a moment, I assure you from now on".

>> "When are you going to wake up? Is this some kind of revenge because I left you? Is that? Because I know you are capable" I hear his laugh but it is not a laugh full of grace, it is a laugh full of sadness.

   I need to wake up, I don't want him to suffer anymore and if he's okay, I also suffered but he has already returned and I want to talk to him, I want to hug him, I want us to give each other those kisses on the neck that are characteristic of ours, I want us to fall asleep in bed or on the armchair, I want us all to watch a movie together at my house, I want us to meet at the door of the institute to enter together, I want us to go to our square, I want to sing to him and for him to listen to me for the first time, I want everything with him and him, I love him, I love him, and obviously my family also goes without saying.

"Hello? How did you move your hand?" at that moment I realize, did I move my hand? "Doctor!" I hear Cameron screaming opening a door.

Maybe that's what you had to think about.

   In which?

In everything you thought about before, and Cameron helped you.

   Cameron always helped me, he was always there.

   Little by little I can open my eyes, first one, then the other and above all I must get used to the white light in the room, too white in my opinion and above all if you are just waking up from a coma in which you have not been seeing light from quite a few days ago. And thinking about it maybe in the end my conscience is not so gross, I was right.

   Now being able to see a little better I observe everything, in a corner I see my parents with Cameron and my brothers, and at the door I see a doctor, I suppose it will be a doctor because he is wearing a doctor's gown and he looks like a doctor.

Does it look like a doctor? How does someone look like a doctor?

   Someone looks like a doctor when they have a white coat on over their clothes, a stethoscope around their neck ... or, and a name card that says "DOCTOR" big at first.

Oh, so he is indeed a doctor.

   I know.

"Hello?" I say half slow, I know that I got used to talking, my voice is dry and my throat hurts when I speak. As soon as I speak Cameron runs up to me, hugs me and kisses my whole face. I hear some laughter from behind but I don't pay too much attention to them because all my attention is on the person who is hugging me so that I can't even breathe.

"I love you I love you I love you I love you and I love you more. I don't know what I would have done if something happened to you, please forgive me, sorry. It's all my fault sorry, sorry, sorry" I interrupt because I don't want him to continue apologizing, I don't need it because he already did, I remember everything he told me and that is excuse enough.

"I forgive you, obviously I forgive you" I smile at him and he hugs me even stronger than before. "I heard you while I was in a coma, I heard every word you said, what's more" I keep talking but now looking at the rest of the room; "I listened to all of you, even you doctor, listen to what you didn't feel like hearing but hey" everyone in the room laughs. "Another day we will speak well about everything the same, yes?" I speak looking at Cameron now to what he nods.

"Yes, it's what I look forward to the most" he squeezes my hand more and smiles at me.

   After organizing everything, doing papers and having me study, my sister went to find me clothes so I could leave the hospital. I can't stand another second here. But I had been excited, I had believed that it was so, but apparently not, I have to wait a couple of days yet and they will continue to do the same studies every day to see how I am progressing, or that is what the doctor He told me what they would do

   In the afternoon they all came to visit me so I asked the nurses for permission to let them all pass at the same time for just a few minutes that I needed to say something to them, obviously they had no problem, they are super good and nice.

"Forgive me all" I told them as soon as they finished entering, they were silent. "I know that I should have accepted their help, that I should not have moved away, much less went to live in another place" I say this last looking at Mom and Dad.

"Forgive us Sari" Denise says approaching me and then hugging me.

"There is absolutely nothing to forgive if you at no time did something wrong, what's more, you tried to help me. They have no idea what is missing them".

"We to you" David says now, he missed their faces and their voices because even though he could distinguish them, it was not the same as listening to them now.

"Since we are all, I am going to make an announcement, well we are not all but I can't take it anymore and since you woke up my little girl, I need to say it guys" my mother speaks, standing up, Dad also stops and conspiratorial glances are thrown. "I'm pregnant".

   THAN?

THAN?!

   What my mom what?

What our mom what?

   Will I have a brother or a sister? I wake up from a coma and find out that my family is going to get bigger, because never a normal day, right?

   I look at everyone inside the hospital room, right there with me, and I can't believe how lucky I am. Fortunate for friends and family so unconditional, who try to help me when I don't want to, but continue to do so when I am ready to be helped. I missed them, I love them so much that one day my heart of love will explode, I know it.

That is completely and physically impossible.

   Obviously I know.

"Are you still alive?" Cameron passes a hand in front of my face like he used to do every time he called me, I nod affirmatively.