I didn't sleep the whole night.
I sat on the cold floor of my storage room, wrapped in Lu Beichuan's big black suit jacket that was still warm and smelled like cold mint and expensive wood. In my small hands, I held two things that made my heart beat so fast I thought it would jump out.
Gu Chen's white handkerchief that he gave me in the girls' bathroom yesterday when three girls tried to scratch my face. It still had faint clean mint smell and my dried tears.
And Lu Beichuan's black business card. Thick, matte black, with gold letters that shone under my small yellow bulb. Only two lines: Lu Beichuan. Private number: 1XXX-XXXX-XXXX. And next to it, a small black velvet box that I was too scared to open. What was inside? Why did he put a velvet box in his suit pocket?
Two men. Two different kinds of protection. One is ice prince from school who saves me silently. One is cold emperor CEO who says "Go inside" but watches until I disappear.
I held the business card tightly, then hid it deep under my mattress with Gu Chen's handkerchief. I folded Lu's big jacket carefully and hid it in my old closet, behind my old faded dresses, because if Su Mei sees it, she will steal it or burn it.
At 6 AM, I washed my face, wore my clean Saint Ying uniform, and looked in broken mirror. My eyes were a little swollen from no sleep, but my skin was still glowing white, my long black hair shiny. Even tired, I looked beautiful enough that the old mirror seemed brighter.
I went downstairs. Su Mei was already at breakfast table, wearing her perfect uniform, her eyes red from crying last night, but when she saw me, her eyes became poison again.
"Some people came home in a man's jacket last night, so shameless, and still dare to go to school," she said loudly, so my mother could hear.
My mother glared at me but didn't slap because my father was there, reading newspaper.
"Wanwan, are you okay? Did you catch cold in rain yesterday?" my father asked worriedly, putting his hand on my forehead. "You feel a little warm. If you are sick, don't go to school today."
"I am okay, Dad," I whispered.
Su Mei stood up, grabbed her Chanel bag. "Dad, I am going to school first! I don't want to go with some people who ride in strange men's cars!"
She left quickly in her red Ferrari, driving fast.
I took the bus to school alone, as usual. I left Lu's jacket at home, hidden. I didn't dare to wear it to school. If I wore a man's suit jacket bigger than my body to school, the gossip would be even worse.
Saint Ying Elite Academy gate was as beautiful as usual, full of luxury cars and rich students. But the moment I stepped in, I felt something wrong.
Everyone was looking at me. Whispering. Pointing.
Not the usual "So beautiful" whispering with admiration. This time it was dirty whispering, with disgust, with excitement for gossip.
"Look, it's her, Su Wan!"
"Is it true? She got picked up by an old man in Rolls Royce?"
"Su Mei said she saw her getting out of a man's car wearing a man's suit jacket bigger than her body! So big it looked like she had no clothes inside!"
"Oh my god, she just became pretty and already does that kind of thing? So shameless! She must have had plastic surgery to seduce old rich men!"
"That jacket must be from her sugar daddy! No wonder she suddenly became beautiful! Must be money!"
My face turned pale. Blood left my face.
Su Mei! She told the whole school! She told them I was picked up by old man in luxury car wearing man's jacket!
I clutched my school bag strap tightly, my hands shaking. My long black hair was tied in high ponytail, my white shirt clean, my pleated skirt neat, I had no man's jacket now, but they still pointed at me as if I was wearing something shameful.
I lowered my head and walked fast to Class A-3, wanting to escape.
In Class A-3, it was worse. As soon as I entered, the whole class became silent, then exploded with whispers.
"She's here! The girl who rides old man's car!"
"Su Mei said the car is Rolls Royce Cullinan with plate 88888, that's Lu family's car! Did she seduce some old man from Lu family? Maybe a driver? Or an old uncle?"
"Maybe she is being kept! That's why she suddenly has money to become pretty!"
Su Mei was sitting in front row, surrounded by her followers Lin Na and other girls, looking at me with a victorious, evil smile, as if saying "You stole my school flower title, now I will destroy you."
"Su Wan, is it true?" Lin Na stood up, hands on hips, loud voice. "Su Mei said she saw you last night, getting out of a black Rolls Royce in heavy rain, wearing a man's big black suit jacket that was so big it covered your thighs, and you had no pants? And that man is old enough to be your father? Tell us, how much did he pay you?"
The whole class laughed.
My eyes filled with tears quickly. My chest hurt. I wanted to say "No, it's not true, he just helped me in rain, he is not old, he is not sugar daddy, he is..."
But I couldn't say his name. If I say Lu Beichuan helped me, no one will believe, and they will laugh even more, and it will cause bigger trouble for him and for my family. And I promised my father not to get close to him.
I stood at classroom door, alone, surrounded by laughing and pointing, my beautiful face pale, my hands shaking, holding my bag.
For 16 years, I was called ugly toad. Now I am called shameless fox who seduces old men. Why? Why is being beautiful also a sin? Why does everyone want to ruin me?
My tears were about to fall, but suddenly I remembered last night, in hallway, when my mother raised hand to slap me, and I stepped back for the first time. I remembered what you taught me - soft + small angry fire. I survived 10 years in dark storage room with rats. I survived bathroom lock. I survived rain.
I clenched my fists inside my sleeves, my nails digging into palms. My tears were still in my eyes, but I lifted my head and looked at Lin Na, my voice shaking but not dodging anymore.
"I didn't seduce anyone. It was raining heavily, I was stranded, no ride, no signal. A kind person passed by and gave me a ride and lent me his jacket because I was shivering. That's all. If you were stranded in rain, wouldn't you hope someone helps you too?"
My voice was small but clear. The class quieted a little, because they didn't expect me to talk back. In the past days, I only cried and ran.
Lin Na was angry that I talked back. "You lie! What kind person lends a man suit jacket that expensive? And Rolls Royce Cullinan? What kind person drives that? You think we are stupid?"
"I..." I didn't know how to explain.
Just then, a cold voice came from the back of classroom, from the last row by window.
"Is it that noisy? Can't you let people sleep?"
The voice was not loud, but so cold, so powerful with natural authority, that the whole class froze instantly. All laughing stopped.
Gu Chen. He had been sleeping with his head down on his desk since morning, black hair covering his eyes, headphones around neck, as if he didn't hear anything. But now he lifted his head.
His handsome ice face was darker than usual, his dark eyes cold like a storm was inside, not sleepy at all. He was looking at Lin Na, not at me, his gaze so cold Lin Na stepped back scared.
"Gu... Gu Chen, we were just..."
"Just what? Bullying new student again? Last time in bathroom, now in classroom? Do you think Saint Ying is your gossip market?" His voice was low, cold, each word like ice.
Lin Na's face turned pale. Everyone in Saint Ying knows Gu Chen never cares about gossip, never helps anyone, never talks much. But today, he spoke for Su Wan twice.
He stood up slowly, tall, hands in pockets, and walked towards me. The class automatically made a path.
He walked past me, didn't look at me, as if I was not there, and went to throw his empty water bottle in trash can at front, then walked back to his seat. But when he passed by me again, he stopped for one second, just one second, next to me.
He didn't say anything to me. He didn't look at me. But I smelled faint clean mint from his uniform, same as his handkerchief.
And in that one second, he whispered so low only I could hear, his voice cold but with something else I couldn't understand, something tight.
"Why didn't you wear jacket? It's cold today."
My eyes widened. How did he know about jacket? Did he hear gossip? Does he know I was in another man's car in rain? Is that why his ice face is darker today? Is he... jealous? Or angry?
He already went back to his last row and sat down, put his head down again to sleep, as if he didn't just defend me and whisper to me.
But I stood at door, tears still in eyes, but my heart beating fast, not only because of fear from gossip, but because of his one sentence.
He noticed it was cold today. He noticed I didn't wear jacket. Does that mean he... cares?
Su Mei saw Gu Chen defending me again, and her perfect nails dug into her palms so hard they bled. She had liked Gu Chen for three years, wrote him love letters, but he never looked at her. Now he defended ugly Su Wan twice.
"Su Wan, you fox! You seduce old men outside and you seduce Gu Chen inside! Just wait!"
The morning bell rang. Math teacher came in, and class started, but whispers still continued behind my back.
I sat in my seat in front of Gu Chen, my back straight, my ponytail swaying, my fists still clenched small inside my sleeves, remembering 10 years dark storage room.
I will not only cry. I will survive this gossip too.
And I didn't know that at this same moment, in Lu Group's 88th floor president office, Lu Beichuan was sitting in his black leather chair, looking at his phone, looking at Su Zhenguo's contact number, and thinking about the small girl in his big jacket who said "Thank you, Mr. Lu" in rain last night, and his driver standing next to him was holding a small wet white sock that was left in his Rolls Royce yesterday - my muddy school sock that fell off when I ran.
And he said coldly to his assistant: "Find out which class Su Wan is in Saint Ying. And tell Saint Ying principal to take care of her."