Pregnant with the Bad Boy

69

I had woken up, I did not know how long I slept or what time it was but I did not dare move where I laying on the side of the bed and Dylan was down further at the belly and had his hand on it so I felt his warmth when she kicked , I closed my eyes again and smiled happily, I did not want to disturb him where he seemed to talk to her, silent words that were only for her and kissed the place where she was before she moved on his touch, I fought against the tears where I was completely still  in the darkness of the bedroom, I was not the only one who would miss him.

Anyone else had probably bailed at this point but he was left just accepting that she existed, I would always love him for that no matter what happened to us.

He did not want to leave us and I felt the pain of how unfair life was to us, I was so disappointed in my family, dad who had left and mom who had thrown me out… and Mandy who had hidden everything from me, even though I was grateful for it so it hurt that she felt she had to lie to me, it just felt like we could have had more time than we had now that I knew he would be gone tomorrow.

I swallowed, it was not her fault, she had only done what she thought was right, I blinked when I heard Dylan's low voice in the dark which made me smile again, I would manage this, if he could manage to be away from us, I would damn well manage to manage myself until he came back, for her sake.

“I will come back…” I understood one of his sentences and beamed, I knew he would, we had to get through this, we had been through worse, this time we were separated but we would not be ourselves, we were still together in our hearts.

I stayed still and hoped that he would not notice that I cried quietly before he lay down with his head right at the stomach and only had his hand there when she pushed herself out where he moved, and I tried to relax so as not to shake of the crying that went through me that he was just there and trying to get out as much time as he could with her before he was gone.

“I know you're awake Jen….” His voice was low and amused like he had known it all along as I gave up and opened my eyes before I put my hand on his head and pulled my fingers through his hair with the light curls at the end that never really folded, just like him.

-sorry. I said the words sobbing as I did not want to disturb him where he was lying and talking to her.

“Your mommy cries a lot, just as well you get used to it now little one.” He stroked his hand over me again where she was and I laughed at his words with tears left in the eyes of his accurate words, I cried a lot.

“Just because I'm so happy…” I laughed again and looked up at the dirty roof as he leaned up on one arm and looked at me happily with his other hand left on me.

“Me too.” he leaned forward and kissed my stomach several times like he knew she had been there all along and had not only found out about it a few days ago.

“What do think we should call her?” I knew it might be too early to talk about it but what did it matter, I wanted to know what he thought now this second when we were close and not later through some glass or observed by other people who did not have our life to do.

He did not answer until he pulled his hand lightly with his fingertips over me, so it burned where he touched me.

“I don’t know…” he looked up and smiled, maybe it was a stupid question already, he had just found out about her, it was pretty obvious that he did not know anything yet.

“Carrie after your mother?” I looked up and smiled wondering as he quickly shook his head and laughed like I was crazy, and I lay down again and smiled at his face he looked really happy where we lay in the small bedroom that was never cleaned.

“No, she should have her own name which is only hers…” he stopped his hand and put his head lightly against me and I ran my fingers through his hair a couple of times getting pleasured grunts as a reward, I did love those sounds.

“we'll find out later I guess…” I sighed happily, it was like everything was fine when he was here, nothing in the whole world could reach us behind these four walls and I sat up on my elbows so I could see him, I wanted to take advantage of every minute we had, before he would be gone again.

He just smiled secretly so his grey eyes sparkled as he got up and pulled forward towards my face where I waited with a silly smile for him to come up and kiss me when he stopped just before he had come forward with his lips in front of my own expectant ones.

“Lilly.” He said the name quietly as a whisper, made it vibrate throughout me of what he had said so that I almost gasped for his loving name, I looked at his warm eyes that just looked back amused like he already knew I had accepted it and smiled meant at me like the charming man he was.

“Lilly.” I said the name breathless even though I had not even moved, it was beautiful, it was innocent, and it was just hers.

“Lilly Hopper.” His voice was soft, and I felt almost dizzy from hearing his voice as he spoke to me as tenderly and lovingly as there was no one in the whole world but us.

I nodded at what he had said and smiled before laughing so low that he had made me agree to it so quickly, completely without resistance, he had that effect on me.

“Dylan… I will miss you so much when you are away…” I had not said it outright yet, but I wanted to do it when we were in here and he touched my lips with his soft as it was just a light movement and nothing more.

“I will miss you with babe… every f*****g day…” I pressed myself against him now and had a hard time controlling that I wanted to touch him, have my hands over his body and feel every inch of his hard body that was just mine.

He caressed my face and kissed me so I was almost dizzy when we let our tongues meet and I enjoyed his taste in my mouth and closed my eyes as he pulled his hand over my neck and down my breasts and caressed them slowly so I could not control how I sounded faintly from his fingers that moved consciously over my n*****s that reacted to his touch even though I was fully clothed where I lay next to his beautiful face.

“My beautiful girl…” he said the words in my ear, I winced as he moved his hand down over me and stopped at my stomach and caressed it slowly and continued down towards where my pants started under my hips and pulled my fingertips over the edge a couple of times so that I moaned at his touch that made me just as crazy every time he touched me.

“I want you Dylan…” I looked begging on his happy face that got a playful look and he kissed me again so that I sounded loud again of his hand that was inside the pants and the hand rested on me so that his fingers lay on my panties thin fabric that just made me want him even more.

“I love you so much Jennifer…” he pulled his fingers further down so I gasped and raised my hips against his hand without being able to control my movements as he just smiled calmly against me and kissed me and let his tongue mix with mine again while he stroked his fingers slowly over my panties so that I was fainting from the lust that made me turn me anxious and pressed me impatiently against his fingers.

I wanted him more than ever, I wanted to feel him inside of me again if it were the last time in a long time and pulled my hand down to his pants where he was already having a b***r and started to unbutton the jeans with one hand when he stopped me and I looked at him confused, did he not want me?

 He looked amused at my insecurity like it was funny that I was lying here and was sweaty and excited and not even allowed to touch him.

“Dylan?” I almost looked at him insulted when he laughed and kissed me again like to silence me and I lay down again after sitting up when he stopped me.

” Calm down Jen, we have time.” His voice was excited underneath the calmness in a way I had not heard before, I looked at him, he was different now, I had not been wrong, he did not just want to f**k me anymore as from the beginning, he wanted to enjoy everything it seemed, every part of how we touched each other, how I sounded like when his fingers made me tremble giving the both of us satisfaction.

I did not answer now just smiled stupidly at his sparkling eyes that just looked at me, I loved him so much that every breath hurt without him.

I closed my eyes and he laughed softly and moved his fingers again as he understood that I was not going to fight against what he wanted to do, I just wanted him to move me, be near me and be mine.

“the world's most beautiful wife…” his words made me smile foolishly as he pulled his fingers down over the edge of my panties and had his hand inside them now so I almost got short of breath from just feeling him inside them like every other touch I had ever felt from someone else one was gone when I knew he was watching me move my mouth gasped and pressed me against him again without being able to help it.

“I'm so happy you are mine…” he whispered the words in my ear as his hand moved further down and I moaned as his fingers slid into me and I pushed myself hard up to get him further into me as he followed with my movement, teased me to want to move faster towards him so that I looked up annoyed at his playful face that only looked at me when I opened my eyes mistily that he never let me feel him inside me.

“Dylan… you driving me damn crazy here…” I gasped through the words when he kissed me on the neck and I sighed contentedly when he let me feel his fingers inside of me and I lay still for a while before I moved impatiently against his hand again when he kissed me on the nape so that I was out of breath by his teasing tongue that followed up to my ear while he moved his fingers in and out me, making my cryes harder without being able to help it, he increased the pace and whispered in my ear things which only I heard as I tensed my hips hard against him and screamed loudly while he moved me and closed my eyes from the pleasure that burned in me that I could barely move, I just wanted to lie here and let him make me burn for the rest of the time we had left when I suddenly sat up on my elbows and grabbed his hand and stopped him in me hard, I stared into his burning eyes as my whole body tensed that I became silent and shook from orgasm who got me clinging to his body until I stopped and fell down powerless again was panting by the effort it had brought.

He smiled happily at me as I smiled back sweaty and satisfied with what he had done to me, his hand was still in me, and I sighed as he moved slowly out with his fingers, and I breathed hard from the incredible pleasure he had given me as he leaned down and kissed me softly on the lips several times with a pleased smile on his beautiful face.

 “I love to watch you come babe…” his voice was strained but loving as I laughed to still amazed at what he could have done to me.

“Okay why do you always save the best in the end?” I laughed again as he smiled amused at my words and lay down next to me now and I lay closer to his shoulder, so I rested against his neck and still closed my eyes taken by the shock that still echoed in me.

“That was incredible baby…” I said the words into the air when he laughed and pulled me closer to his head and kissed me slowly on my hair when I blinked out over the dark bedroom, I had forgotten everything it felt like, I barely remembered how Grant had felt about me as Dylan lay here taking over my whole body and soul, filling my heart to the brim with his love.

“I'm glad you liked it, I wanted to give you everything… now that you are my wife and not just any girl, I tried to get inside your pants every chance I could.” I laughed out loud at his words, was that really how he had seen it? that he just wanted to have s*x with me?

“Any chance you could?” I laughed louder now as he shrugged and I assumed it was true, and I had not put up any resistance to it either.

“I don’t regret anything.” He said the words teasingly and I knew he meant it, I snorted at the amusement of what he had said, I had not regretted anything either.

“I know.” I laughed again when he kissed my hair again and I smiled happily, how much I had not cried from him and now I lay here and be so happy that nothing in the whole world could measure up to it.

“I’m sorry.” He said the words briefly in the air and I turned my head upwards even though I could not see his face in the dark over what he apologized for.

“Because I didn’t want you to come visits me, of course I want to see you…” he sighed and I just listened, I knew better than to ask him things at this point once he opened up to me.

“I just don’t want you to see me in there, it's not how I want you to look at me, like some damn scumbag who can’t even see child come into the world.” His voice was bitter again and I just looked up at the ceiling as he spoke, I wanted nothing more than to make him understand that it did not matter to me if he was in prison, I would love him just as much anyway.

“I don’t see you like that.” I just said those words, because it did not matter if I insisted, he would not believe me, because that was how he saw himself even if I did not.

He snorted just as I had expected when I took my hand and caressed it over his face, his beard which I still had not really got used to but smiled at how soft it felt against my fingers when I answered his silent answer.

“Dylan, if I thought you were such a bad guy, why did I want to be with you so quickly?” I pulled down my arm and took his hand with mine and caressed my fingers over his as he sighed again, this time slowly like he was trying to believe me but did not want to.

“I don’t know, I have asked myself the same thing many times these last days…” his voice was honest and amusing at the end as I was crazy, maybe I was, if nothing else he did it to me.

I pulled my hand up to my mouth and kissed his slowly, he was my everything and he barely understood it seemed.

“Do you remember when I first walked and sat on the stairs?” I said the words amused when it was clear that he remembered, I talked like it was years ago even though in reality it had only been a couple of months.

“I remember you being pissed were that I didn’t want to f**k you the first night…” he laughed so I pushed his shoulder annoyed, I was but that was not what I wanted to say.

“I was going to get away from here, I was so annoyed with you but for each step I just felt anxiety like I could not breathe anymore when you were not near me.”

I smiled stupidly at the memory, I would have stayed whatever had told me, all he had to do was just ask me to stop and I had done it.

“I felt alive in a completely different way than before, plus you were so sexy that I thought I was going to die when I looked at you.” He laughed at me when I turned half and kissed his soft mouth with mine, I loved him, only him and no one else.

“I’m glad you stayed Jenbabe.” He said my nickname tenderly and I smiled stupidly again, there was no one like him in the whole world.

“Me too.” I kissed him again, my handsome tender hot man who always said what he thought even if it hurt or not.

“Okay I do not know what you say but I'm hungry.” I patted his leg with my hand as he laughed and I saw that he was a little less worried already, even though I knew he would probably somehow have someone, my sister for sure who would report somehow if I did not behave with eating or shutting down, I did not want to do it, I had decided to cope with this, it was just a small piece of our lives together.

“There is pizza left…” he said the words like I did not already want to puke at the thought of pizza already when I stared at his suggestions, he was really a man.

“I refuse to eat pizza again Dylan…” I sat up and looked at him, it felt stupid, but I wanted to do something with him, something ordinary, like shopping for food, we had never done it hit me.

“Let’s go tough guy.” I pulled him up from the bed despite protests when I said what I wanted and out through the small room to the door and pulled on my boots and jacket before he sighed and looked at me as he wondered if he had to go out at all.

“Can’t we just lie in bed and eat pizza?” I laughed at his whining and kissed his sour face as we went out the door hand in hand and locked it.

I grinned at him as we went down the loft walk together, I thought I would ignore the thought that he would be gone tomorrow, if only for a while.

“so, what do you like besides pizza baby?” He smiled briefly that I called him that, but it felt natural with Dylan even though I was still nervous about it sometimes, but with Grant it had just been stiff, I now felt in retrospect except the time I had happened to say it to him in the bed.

“I don’t know… anything…” he answered incredibly vague of course when we had stopped at the car and I rolled my eyes at his grumpy answer, I didn’t know why it was so damn difficult to be with me outdoors.

“Are you ashamed of me?” I sat in the car when he looked at me like I was crazy and I stared back at him hurt, he never wanted to be with me in public anywhere it felt like.

“Sometimes you just say the stupidest things I ever heard Jen.” He still looked at me like it was me who didn’t want to be together outdoors and didn’t want to let go of me in his life.

I sighed and shrugged at his response, was I really that stupid then? he refused to let me see anyone who was in his life and the only reason why I had even met anyone was because I had forced myself in.

“Because you do not let me meet anyone you know, I did not even get to see your sister when she was here, and we never were outside except a few times…” I looked even more hurt when he stopped from starting the car when I had let him drive out of sheer habit.

“we've been together two days Jennifer. you told me we could not be together the day before yesterday.” His voice was sober, and I sank down more, he was right, but it felt like it was years ago for me, I wanted to know everything about him, and I had not really wanted to be away from him, it had been because I had to it felt like then.

“I know… but we have been together since we saw each other again…. right?” I looked meant at his absent gaze, but he smiled amused at what I had said which I took as a good sign.

“you're probably the only girl in the world who thinks I can marry you but not be seen in public with you?” He turned his head towards me and laughed so it glistened in his grey eyes, and I suddenly blushed at what he had said, he was right, I thought over everything for sure as usual.

“But I get it, we haven’t had the most normal relationship so far.” He shrugged like it did not matter what we had been through, because he just wanted to be here with me here now.

I did not answer this time and he started my Volvo and drove out of the parking lot, I thought about what he had said, that we were not together two days ago and that he might think it went too fast then, he was still hurt over what I had done and then I just had forced my way into his life…. I leaned against the glass and bit my lip, I was really the one who said what I thought of the two of us, the one who was impulsive.

“Sorry.” I said the words quickly to the glass, but I knew he heard me when he took my hand and hugged it quickly, it felt safe when I turned around and saw that he was smiling now, the worst part of being so incredibly in love with someone after such a short time was that I knew him so well but still not, and I wanted to know everything there was about him.

“I don’t like seafood…” his smile became wider when I laughed at his revelation, it wasn’t his life story, but it did a lot for me right now.

“I hate cereal after I puked behind the dumpster.” he was laughing now, and I felt happy again, it really was not easy for any of us, but we tried.

“And blood…” his eyes were a little sadder now that I just looked at him sadly, he had seen that I vomited when he abused parker and I nodded quickly, it was disgusting.

“I'm so f*****g sorry about what happened to Jen.” His words were suddenly serious, and I only looked at him when we stopped in the parking lot of the grocery store now.

“It wasn’t your fault…” I sighed, I did not want to talk about what had happened, I still saw Parker's face in front of me sometimes when he held me up, and honestly if I had not already been so damn crazy of everything that had happened between me and Dylan, I would have felt even worse than I did now.

“he's still in the hospital… I know, Matt told me.” he said the words in a cold voice, and I knew he still wished he had killed Parker for what happened.

“So, they talk to you?” I saw the shame on his hard face staring down at the steering wheel now, I had such a bad conscience about what had happened, that his friends had disowned him for choosing to almost kill Parker for what he had done.

He snorted like I had said something funny, and I put my hand on his and just looked unhappily at him in the reasonably busy parking lot.

“Hardly. Matt is probably the only one who says anything at all, but that's because I knew him the longest and he hates Lorraine as much as I do.” he turned to me when I was just sitting there and did not know what to say, I hated myself right now.

“I…. Wish so much that I had never come, that you were still friends with them… not that it was as it was because I was there…” I looked pleadingly at his murky eyes that only looked studying me now that I was sitting there and felt horrible, that I had ruined his life.

-I don’t give a s**t about them.” His voice was clear again and I looked up in surprise at his smile that came out, I did not understand anything, he had no one left, only me.

“But why? They were your friends all your life and now they're mad at you.” I still looked unhappy now that he took his hand and pulled it over my face softly several times, making me sight in total relief of his touch earning a small deep chuckle from him.

“Because they just wanted me to be the same guy I was in school. I do not want to be that person with you Jen, I want to be better for you and her.” His eyes were gentle now and I looked at him lightly and tried not to cry again, I knew he was trying to change. But it was not easy, for any of us.

“Just so you know… I see you want to that, you know… be better.” I smiled now and said nothing more about it, I wanted him to know it only when his face became a little brighter like what I had said made his day better again.

“Let’s go wifey and I will be with you in public.” he laughed as I blushed again at his teasing way of just making me realize how quickly I was stuck in my own thoughts, and how ridiculous I had been who even though he did not want to be seen with me.