Moon Bound

9. Ryder

“T-together?”

I twist away from Carina, yanking off my shirt in one motion. Despite the smirk creeping onto my face, flickers of annoyance fill my head, creating the telltale thumping of a headache. My body is crying for rest and she wants to stand here and debate sleeping arrangements?

“Be happy you get a bed at all.” I grunt, gesturing to it, eliciting her wary eyes to widen into plain, cold fear. A look that has me sighing impatiently. “I won’t hurt you. Just get in. I’m f*****g exhausted.”

“You first.”

My lips press tightly together, but for the sake of getting her into this bed with me, I do as she commands, slipping underneath the blankets. The denim of my pants chafe against the soft blanket and I’m reminded how much I despise wearing jeans in bed.

Carina approaches the bed, appearing oddly similar to a deer I would hunt. Her eyes skirt the room nervously, her clasped hands woven tightly together. Waves of anxiety pour from her, souring her otherwise perfect cinnamon scent.

Gingerly, she rests one knee on the bed, twisting herself to sit. I adjust, moving as close to the wall as I can manage to give her ample space. Nothing feels far enough though, not with the wave of hot energy blasting off her.

As she settles awkwardly into place, it dawns on me that the last time a woman was in bed with me was… a while ago. Her arm brushes mine and she glances over at me, eyes wide.

Fuck princess, this witch is a deer. Determined, focused, but anxious as all hell. Her skin touching mine drags my mind back to earlier when I had her in my arms. If she wasn’t who she was, I could appreciate how sexy she is. The smell of her makes something flip inside me and I fist my hands at my side. When she’s nervous, I want to hunt. To chase. Question is, when I catch her, what would I do with her?

I shake my head of any thoughts of Carina and her forbidden body, instead focusing on the reason she’s here in the first place. For Father.

Father, who won’t be making it for long; who’s about to leave me in charge of the pack. My heart races. f**k, the pack… The pack who’ll be looking to me to be alpha. To create the next generation.

Carina moves again, sighing so softly I’m not sure I’m supposed to hear her.

What she did for Father was something I won’t ever be able to repay her for. It may have been a simple spell for her, but to me, it’s the peace I needed to sleep the next few hours away.

“Why’d you do it?” I ask her.

After a beat, she replies, “Told you. No one deserves pain.”

“Your face changed the second you walked into his cabin.” I reflect on what I saw. Pure concern, almost maternal, like she’s a natural helper. “It’s more than someone not deserving it.”

After another six beats and three more breaths, she murmurs, “Much to my coven’s dismay, I’m, uh, going for my nursing degree. I’m partway through my practicum.”

A nurse. “As a witch?”

She chuckles softly. “Again, much to my coven’s dismay. Or Grandma’s, more like it. If she had her way, we’d all be living in the forest, as you do. Ironic since she owns a… Never mind. Anyway, I wanted more. Magic is great and all, but there needs to be a purpose. One that goes deeper than serving our goddess. The medical field provides me that. I’m able to use magic to replace some of the chemicals doctors insist on shoving into patients. A useful, healthy form of magic.”

“Like what you did for my father?”

“Precisely.”

I fall silent, replaying the conversation over in my head. Something in me knew Carina was more than the princess she portrays, and in this past hour, she’s proved it. Helping the alpha of the exact pack who brought her here. Playing human because she feels it’s right. She’s noble, to say the least.

I wanted more. Her words ring in my head and before she falls asleep, I ask, “Do you like being a witch?”

She exhales long and deep before speaking. “Honestly? No. I enjoy having magic, but everything else that comes with it is exhausting. It’s almost not worth it.”

On some level, I can relate. Still, I ask, “How so?”

“The coven always comes first. You saw that today.” Her voice spikes in bitterness, but smooths back out when she continues, “There are less of us in the country—hell, the world—than there used to be. Grandma remains determined to keep our line going, so she’d like to use me in a union. Essentially, it’ll be an arranged marriage to ensure I bring more witches into the world.”

My skin tingles at her words. In familiarity, and something else I can’t place. Something that heats my head and has my hands fisting for whatever unknown reason. I force myself to suck in a deep gulp of air and release it slowly, calming my racing heart.

“Like a princess,” I murmur, relating back to her given nickname. She sure as hell come across as one, but little had I known, she kind of is one. “Meant to align the kingdoms.” A purpose I know all too well.

Her delicate chime fills the dark room—a sound I find myself not minding too much.

“Basically,” she agrees. “So, before I get shackled to a stranger, I want to explore life a bit. Ideally, I’ll be able to work still, but if I have his coven along with mine opposing my work… I’ll lose, unfortunately.”

I frown into the darkness, pleased she can’t see my compassion for her. Last thing I need is her thinking she can use me to her advantage. So far, everything she’s admitting tells me being a witch is horrible. Seems very constraining, to not do what you want. Being forced into marriage, and having to give up the work she loves so much. While the pack will push me to mate, I’ll be able to choose who I want.

“The guy beside you wasn’t your mate then?”

“Jasper?” Her tone hikes, before tapering off into a laugh. “Goddess, no. He’s my cousin.”

Good.

Wait—what?

The room falls silent and Carina’s breathing evens out. I’m sure she’s asleep, and even though my body is on the edge of being there as well, I have to ask, “Is there anything you can do to help, magically or medically?”

“No,” she says, confirming she’s not asleep. “I don’t know the spell. And his issues are beyond human medicine. I’m sorry, Ryder.”

I blow out another breath, pushing away the agony hitting every part of me, pounding me into the ground where I can wait to be put to rest alongside Father. I’m kidding myself by holding out hope for her coven. I’m not even sure why I still have her here with me.

“I get it,” I murmur. “Had to ask.”

The metal jiggles and she shifts, while I focus on ignoring the stabs of guilt in me for keeping her restrained. “You’ll be alpha soon. Do you want that?” Carina asks.

Yes.

No.

An entanglement of debate plays in my head. Leading the pack is in my blood. I’m not given an opinion on the matter, and it’s a choice I, on no occasion, ever minded before. But…

“Yes,” I tell her honestly. “But I wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon, so I suppose I’m not prepared yet. When I become alpha, the pack will start encouraging me to take a mate. Same reason as you, to carry on the line. It’s that part I’m not exceedingly looking forward to. Being stuck in a relationship because of duty.”

Here in the dark, with a woman I hadn’t known existed before twelve hours ago, I’m finding safety to admit these things. She’s easy to talk with, especially when I can’t see her expressions. The last time I spoke so open with anyone was… never. I wouldn’t admit what I said to anyone else, not even Lucas.

“Again, I’m sorry, Carina.”

Right before blackness consumes me, I hear, “It’s okay, Ryder. You did what you had to do.”

Cinnamon fills my nose when I finally wake up. It’s suffocating in the best way possible and instead of jumping up and leaving like I know I need to, I remain there with Carina. Without opening my eyes, I know it’s at least late morning—a time quite different than my usual sunrise wake-up. But then, going to bed with the sun required a different schedule.

I shift, stretching in place while my arm tightens around her and I bury my face deeper into her black locks. She’s still asleep, evident by her eased breaths, and I take the moment to clear her hair away from her neck with my nose, baring it to me, inhaling a scent that drives heat straight into my—

I jerk, yanking my arm away from her. What in the moons was that? That was… not me. That was someone else entirely.

My jostling wakes her and she shifts, stretching her back as she moves. “Goddess,” she groans. “I’m starving.”

Her words elicit a grumble in my stomach and I say, “We’ll get some food as soon as I check on my father.”

She stands from bed, stumbling before catching her footing. The cuffs are a clear hindrance to her stiff movements. Guilt slashes my chest, but I look away and head for the door in search of Mia, pulling on a shirt as I go.

Thankfully, she’s loitering around the centre of the camp. “Mia,” I call, approaching her. “I need a favour.”

Her hair swings in an arc as she turns toward me. “What is it?” Her guarded eyes flick over my shoulder toward my cabin.

I yank the key out from my pocket. “Here. Help Carina use the bathroom and such. Get her food. So far, she hasn’t been a danger, but be careful in case she tries something.”

Mia grasps the key between two fingers, holding it like it’s hot iron and stings. Her nose lifts into a disgusted sneer and the acrid scent of annoyance rolls off her. “Of course, because the witch probably wants to brush her hair or something. Do we even care if she runs away?”

I glance toward Father’s cabin as I say, “Yeah. Call me stupid, but I’m hoping something still may come from her presence.”

“Well, you said it, not me. You’re stupid, Ryder.” She sidesteps me and heads toward my cabin.

I don’t dignify her with a response, walking away toward Father’s cabin and pushing the door open.

My nose prickles as the scent of death greets me and I swallow the gag begging for escape. A shiver slithers its way down my spine at what I see. Father aged a whole other decade in a mere few hours. His skin caverns in, showing his frail bones protruding from his skin. His wrinkled eyes lift at my entrance, but they fall shut again, as if too tired to hold open.

Amos remains against the far wall, his expression grim. Understanding passes between us. Father doesn’t have long.

Marissa remains in the chair beside his bed, her hand covering one of his. She makes no noise I can pick up on, but I spot the silent tears dripping down her face. Her heartbreak does more to my chest than if she was sobbing, and I rub at it.

I know in my bones and down to my soul he won’t make it past today.

A howl tempts my throat, but I hold it in with a gulp, and shift my gaze to Marissa. Her damp eyes meet mine and she nods slowly. I know her well enough to know this means she agrees with my unannounced thoughts.

“Let the pack say goodbye.” The words stick in my throat, but I force them out. As alpha, my grief comes last and holding it in as long as possible will be best for everyone.