Moon Bound

12. Carina

Silence befalls the camp after Ryder leads his pack away. What was loud only seconds ago is now deafeningly and noticeably silent.

Whatever ceremony I had witnessed carried with it a sense of beauty. Watching the pack embrace and welcome Ryder—and for no one to challenge his claim—was an experience I’ll tuck away in my mind forever.

The only people remaining are the elderly wolves. The male shoots me a venomous, dark glare before pushing past me into the old alpha’s cabin. I step out of the way, letting him by. Now more than ever, I’m not needed here.

The woman’s gentle smile is reassuring as she approaches. “On behalf of the pack, I do send my apologies. You’re free.”

Because even if Grandma changed her mind now, it’s too late. I nod my head once and stride by her. Freedom is meaningless at the moment. Do I go home? No doubt Grandma will welcome me back into the fold once more—because it’ll take no effort or cause any danger. Coming for me risks a war, but allowing me freely back in is fine. My eyes roll at my awareness of what’s to come, but the thought of not returning home has my stomach in knots. Everything feels incomplete. I have a life there—school, practicum, and Mom, so I need to go home. The other day can’t be my final day of seeing Mom and Jasper.

But once again, I’m struck with the knowledge they don’t genuinely care. So, moving on now and starting over isn’t a bad idea. I think. But home also has my clothes and belongings, all things I want and need.

My depleted sigh fills the empty space. For the first time in my life, I’m stuck with nowhere to go. No one to turn to.

Everything feels incomplete. My goodbye to Ryder feels too short and inadequate. We’re strangers and hardly more, but still, after today, I need to say something more to him. A more formal goodbye than a head nod when he’s in wolf form.

I glance back toward where the woman was, to see if she’d care if I stuck around, but she’s already left and the alpha’s cabin is shut firmly behind them so I head for Ryder’s.

With nothing else to do but wait, I take a seat on the edge of the bed. Its messy blankets send heat to my cheeks as my time in it rolls through my memory. Ryder’s arm around me this morning felt right. Like it belongs there.

Do not go there, Carina.

I’m busy counting the cracks in the wood flooring when the familiar shine of magic disrupts my view. Bracing, I lurch to my feet. It’s magic I know all too well, but still, my hands rise in caution as my pulse jumps.

The shimmer falls away, leaving behind Jasper and his judgemental expression as he scans the room. His translucent body turns, spotting me by the bed.

I take a slow step toward him. My hands lower, because it’s Jasper, and I ignore the tingle at the base of my spine.

“How did you find me?”

“I’m projecting to you, not this place.”

Witches can project their ethereal forms to either a place, if they know where it is, or link themselves to a person, but either option isn’t easy.

“Where are we?” he adds, still scanning the area. His eyes rest briefly on each corner of the room before moving on.

The tingle in my spine intensifies, to the point it’s a distraction and will only stop when appeased. “Why are you here, Jasper?” My voice goes flat, wary.

“Why wouldn’t I be here, Car?” he scoffs, his gaze finally settling on me. “They took you from us.”

I blanch at his words and cross my arms, my body becoming rigid. “You all but handed me over to them.”

Any concern Jasper may have had on his face is replaced by something else entirely. Something I don’t recognize, something I didn’t realize he could make. His mouth curls into a slick grin, his eyes becoming bright and excited.

“Grandmother is incredibly pleased with your performance.”

“My performance?”

“Your whole act of betrayal. We couldn’t have asked for better, especially since you were given no direction.”

“We? Better?” What the f**k?

“When the wolf took you, Grandma saw an opportunity. She cast her mind into all ours, except yours. You’re the inside woman. With your help, we’ll find the pack, finish what Fortuna started, and they’ll appreciate us. It’ll benefit the coven.”

His words are a knife to my heart—sharp and deadly. They lied to me, used me, and want to attack the pack. The pack with children, mourning a recent death…

Fortuna. It’s constantly been about Fortuna. So much of my life seems to revolve around their actions. “You realize this is all to get you into a union with them?”

“And?” The skin on his forehead furrows. “It’s my job to help strengthen the coven. As is yours.”

I rear back. Grandma and her f*****g marriage ploys. “You’re unbelievable. All of you.” My tone drops into a whisper. “No. No, I’m not playing this game. I’m not giving their location up.” I leave out the fact that I can hardly describe where we are anyway. “These people are innocent. Their entire lives seem decided by a coven, and I won’t allow ours to do the same.”

Jasper’s eyes widen, the excitement fading into anger. “Why protect them, Carina? They’ve kidn*pped you.”

“Again,” my hands toss into the air, “because you allowed them to. They were desperate. I would have thought we would have done the same, but apparently not. I’m not hurting them after I helped them.”

His ethereal form freezes, his mouth falling open. “Helped them? Carina… tell me you didn’t give them the magic they needed.”

“No.” My head shakes vehemently. “I…”

Logic sets in and I close my mouth. I’m not telling him what I did because if they know the alpha is dead, Grandma will see this as an opening to attack. I can’t be certain they’d back down now.

“Where are you? We need to act,” he tries again.

I fall back onto the bed, my legs feeling weak from my coven’s betrayal. “No,” I tell him.

My whole life I was the princess of the coven. The youngest, “the hope for the future,” as Grandma put it. The way for our family line to continue. But this… this is too much for me to swallow. It’s one thing for her to toss me aside, but it’s another for her to target an entire family.

A pack that hasn’t harmed me, though they could have very easily done so. Wolves who are allowing me to walk away free instead of taking their anger out on me.

My chin lifts. “Do not search for me. I’m done.”

“Carina, we will find you, you know that.”

They can’t. Their tracking spells had to have failed or else he wouldn’t be here right now. Grandma and her plots don’t leave anything to chance; she would certainly wouldn’t risk leaving a plan in someone else’s hands. If she could have come here through tracking me, they’d be here already. Jasper’s arrival tells me something is causing the spell to fail.

“You can’t abandon us,” he pleads. “Your mother—”

“Was apparently okay with this,” I interject. “You can all f**k off.”

“Carina!” His eyes blaze. “You can’t take the wolves’ side.”

“I’m not taking their side. I’m taking my side. You guys let me be taken in hopes to destroy a pack that’s done me no harm. We have no reason to continue this pointless centuries-old feud.” I drop my tone, my arms, and my fight to plead with him instead. “Jasper, you and I are the same. Grandma is using us, our age, in order to keep the coven alive and strong. These people—this pack, their new leader—is like us too. He doesn’t want to fight us just because centuries in the past the two species got into a spat. We need to break the pattern.”

“New leader?” Jasper’s brows spike.

Fuck. My spiel rolls through my brain again. I admitted, indirectly, to the old alpha’s passing. My teeth sink into my lip as I wait for the blowback from Jasper.

The light seeps into his eyes again. “I need to go.” With his words, there’s a quick shimmer of light and he’s vanished, leaving me cursing the empty space where he just was.

When I leave the pack for good, Ryder should be warned of a possible attack. It’s not fair to him if he loses more of his family because mine decided vengeance was the only way for Jasper to be wed. It’s moments like these that make me wish I wasn’t a witch.

So don’t return home.

The voice of logic creeps into my mind. Not going home means I lose so much, but then I also gain a lot too. Freedom. Away from Grandma and her pointless, vindictive games.

This cabin is colder now, its chill casting a shiver down my spine and I walk outside, taking a seat on the dirty, wooden steps. Since Ryder and I slept in and only woke up in the late morning, the sun is already crested, falling back into the treeline. Ideally, Ryder will be back before sundown as I’m not certain how far I’ll get in the dark. Blast Mom for not teaching me the spell. I’m stuck now, with no way to travel other than on foot.

I glance toward Ryder’s father’s cabin. All is still silent, and I wonder what the elders are doing to his body.

With the lowering sun in my face, I wait.