Moon Bound

18. Carina

“Centuries ago, even before this town was formed, we lived in the woods, not too far from the wolf pack. Even then, animosity between the species ran high, but despite that, one of our ancestors fell in love with a shifter. From their union, there was a child—half-shifter, half-witch.

“The leader was convinced to take the child in, for witch’s blood ran through his veins. The coven collectively raised him because the mother was banished from the coven for her indiscretions with the enemy. No reports to date have her ever returning.”

Which means— “You’re saying…” I glance around at the coven. Everyone here, besides Jasper who stands with a slack mouth, seems unsurprised by her story. “…We’re part shifter?” My pulse throbs in my throat as I wait for her confirmation.

Grandma’s face pinches. “Unfortunately, yes. Our ancestor did horrible things,” her voice slashes the air, “to our otherwise pure bloodline when she consorted with that wolf, but it is a part of our history—and genes—and we cannot change it. It’s been so many generations that the blood is merely a sliver inside of us and has no effect on our magic abilities, nor causes us to shift.” She shivers. “Thank the Goddess.”

If the Goddess opened the Earth right now and swallowed me whole, I would be less shocked. Instead, I lean back into the chair, my muscles going weak and weightless, and I’m thankful I’m already sitting. I don’t—I can’t believe it.

My eyes lock on the pendant hanging from Grandma’s clasped hand. Mary wanted me to know this truth, wanted me to know I’m distantly related to Ryder’s pack. It begs the question of why.

Grandma continues, her eyes bouncing between Jasper and I, “This is also why it is imperative we keep the family strong with magical unions. No humans or any other creatures. With enough time, there should be no shifter left in us.”

She’s rationalizing her crazy once again. Something that would have once made me angry, but instead, I’m still working on remembering to breathe. Air in. Air out. Repeat.

Uncle Frank chimes up. “Why would Mary want you to know this now?” He gestures down, to where Grandma sits holding the pendant. “Why the necklace?”

Mom chooses then to come back to life. She shoots from the couch and is halfway across the room, her eyes scanning me up and down. I shrivel into the chair.

“No,” she whispers, barely audible. “No… Carina, you didn’t…?”

My eyes shut for a brief moment. She knows.

“What is it?” Grandma’s words spike with irritation, and she stands too, moving closer. “Use words.”

“You came home in a man’s shirt last night. Nothing else on your body.” Her whisper is directed only toward me. “You said you weren’t r***d, but offered nothing about your willingness.”

Grandma flies forward then, but my quick reflexes get the best of her and I throw my hand up, creating an invisible barrier between us. She slams into it, her body bouncing backwards.

I had seen Grandma’s true colours this week, and I’m the only one who seems to care about any of it. Her hate is nothing to me, insignificant and meaningless, and I stand, keeping my spell poised for any more attacks.

Once again, this family is showing who they truly are.

I glance up at the rest of them. No one shows any sign of concern for me, their observing expressions bouncing around the room. Sheep, the lot of them, and I gaze away, finding Jasper. Unlike everyone else, he does have his gaze trained on me, his eyes as wide as golf balls.

“You had s*x with a shifter?” Grandma’s snarl refocuses my attention onto her.

Mom steps beside her, scrutinizing me. “How dare you, Carina? One day with them and you’ve swapped sides. Exactly like your ancestor. This is why you won’t give up their location? You feel something for the wolf? Or was it wolves?”

My head snaps back at the underlying meaning of her question. Unlike Grandma’s cruel words, Mom’s do affect me and I struggle to keep my expression flat, to not show how her words have carved me from the inside out. How they have left imprints of hate wrapped around my insides. How I feel like a child being thrown out in the cold.

There’s only one thing worse than my grandmother brushing me aside like I’m yesterday’s trash, and it’s my mother doing the same. My shy, obedient mother. The day we lost Dad, I became an orphan because she changed after that, becoming the little puppet she is now.

“They’re an innocent pack,” I grit. “That’s why I don’t want you to attack. They’re harmless.”

“Harmless?” Grandma’s voice raises an octave, before her shoulders droop and she chuckles. “My dear, the shifters have done great harm to us in the past. And it seems like they’re continuing their task.” Her eyes scan me, her nose lifting. “You’re simply another thing on their list.”

Pretty sure when Ryder was drunk over his dad’s death, centuries-old revenge is the least of his worries.

She turns away from me, and feeling as if she’s done, I lower my barrier. The air in front of me shimmers as it settles back to normal.

Now what?

This isn’t home anymore.

I gasp, as the thought jolts itself inside of me. I hate the icky feeling it sends down my spine, but it’s true. Grandma is only using me to attack a pack, the family is following along blindly, Jasper seems half-okay with everything, and Mom—my own mother—has clearly given up on me or else she wouldn’t have spewed all that hate.

Grandma addresses the family. “I suppose she may be important to the pack now. Perhaps a bargain can be struck with them.”

Wow. Just wow. It’s the extend of my usefulness apparently. Bait. And if I’m not bait for the wolves, I’m a marriage ploy to someone else.

This isn’t home anymore.

Instead of gasping at the realization again, I smile inwardly, knowing my thoughts could not be more correct than they are now.

“f**k you all,” I snarl, walking backwards. “I’m done.”

My gaze falls on every single one of them, but like how Grandma’s words affected me, mine affect them the same way. No one blinks, no one moves… no one cares. Jasper’s mouth opens, but then it shuts just as quick. Mom stares away, curling her shoulders inward as she turns back to being the frail creature under Grandma’s thumb. Grandma remains firm in her gaze with her arms crossed, her feet spread, taking a stance of determined stiffness.

She’s showing who’s alpha between us. It’s obvious now, the small bit of shifter still remaining inside our blood.

“If you walk away, Carina, it’s for good. As coven leader, this town falls under my rule. You leave this house; you leave this town. Your school, your pathetic nursing job… it’s all gone.

I swallow against the nerves lodged in my throat, forcing my shoulders straight and my chin high against the heartbreak threatening to take me down, even if what she said isn’t much of a surprise. When I speak, it comes out strong, though a tad weaker than I hoped.

“Guess I’m leaving then.”

I dart upstairs, throwing whatever my hands touch into a bag. I’m mindful to stuff in some sweaters and thicker pants, and my scrubs. My hands hover over my favourite stilettos, but I move past them in favour of sneakers instead. I can’t guarantee wearing nice clothes when as of now, I’m homeless. But there’s only so much sacrifice I can handle, so I find room for my makeup bag and stuff my cell into the front pocket.

At the doorway, I scan the room for a final time. When I walk away, I have no guarantee I’ll ever see these walls again. My bed. My eyes rest on the poster on my closet door—it too has changed as I grew up. First it was a Barbie poster, then my favourite boy band of the time, and now a portrait of Scotland. My bookshelf holding the few books I’ve enjoyed in life. My vanity where I spent an hour each morning getting ready.

Tears prick at my eyes as heartbreak threatens to smash my chest to pieces, but I suck in yet another sharp breath of air and shut the door behind me.

On weakened legs, I make it back down the stairs. My family has cleared out, save for Jasper, Mom, and Grandma. Jasper’s face remains pinched. I get it. He and I have grown up close, but my decisions shouldn’t drag him down either.

Mom, on the other hand, is something else. Her blasé expression as she stares at her feet pisses me off and pain shoots up my jaw from where my teeth smash together. My own mother won’t even regard me. My mouth opens to say something to her—I don’t know what, but something—but nothing comes out.

All because I had s*x with a shifter? Because I refuse to hand over their location?

This town, my schooling, the hospital, Mom, Dad’s gravestone, all my memories of home and childhood… gone. But as I scan Grandma’s villainous sneer, I accept what I’ve been avoiding for a long time; the truth I’ve forever known. I don’t want this life anymore. Other than Dad and the fact that this has been home for my entire life, there’s nothing left for me in this town—not if it means falling back into line and being Grandma’s minion. Not if it means sacrificing a pack. A doctor’s pledge may be do no harm, but as a nurse, it’s also something I feel strongly about. I want to help people, not risk their death.

“You have until sundown to leave this town.”

Grandma’s low, vicious tone yanks me away from my debate. Her words seal my fate—seal my decision.

“Goodbye then.”

After a final long stare at Jasper, whose eyes whip to the side, and at Mom, who still refuses to look at me, I leave, slamming the door shut behind me.

By sundown, I start my journey out of town. The school hadn’t taken well to me needing to cancel my practicum, just as the hospital hated my last-minute notice. A long letter has been magically sent to the dean, explaining family issues, drama, and anything else I could pull from the truth, while leaving him safely away from the mess of witches versus shifters.

I hike through the streets, my eyes skipping from house to house. They’re humans’ homes I’ve walked by countless times before, but now I commit the details of each house to memory—the colour of the bricks, the style of the buildings, the type of vehicles parked in each driveway. They’re houses that make up this town and now I won’t ever see any of them again.

Every step I take away from home, the nerves in my legs grow closer to cracking and snapping, knowing I’m walking away from everything I know. The weight on my chest is heavy, causing my breath to remain trapped in my lungs, making it difficult to walk on.

Reality sets in and I stop, glancing behind me once again. Is any of this worth it? I have nowhere to go—I’m homeless. Grandma wants me out of this town by sundown. While I’d almost like to test her resolve and see what she’ll do, I can only handle so much heartache today.

Where do I go? Freedom has never felt so depressing. My shoulders slump and I trudge on another four steps before the telltale grey smoke appears in my face, causing me to stop short on the sidewalk.

Mary’s serene expression is welcoming at this moment. Yet again, she’s here for me, and it takes everything for me not to throw myself into her arms.

“Mary,” I sigh. “You’re a dream to see. Help me.”

Her mouth curves into a frown while her hands land on her hips. “I should take offence to that. Sorry your family sucks.”

I shrug. “I don’t know where to go next. I need to start over. I’m thinking whatever town with a hospital I can reapply to would be fine.” In the end, it doesn’t matter where I move to, as long as I’m out of Grandma’s territory and can get a job.

“Absolutely.” She reaches a hand toward me. “Take my hand and I’ll bring you to the perfect place. At the earliest convenience, we need to teach you this spell.”

“Please,” I say, adding extra emphasis as I snatch her hand into mine. My other tightens around the bag in my hand, ensuring I don’t lose it in transport.

A moment later, my feet land, bouncing on the soft sponge of dirt beneath my feet, rather than the firmness of the cement I’m expecting. I peek up, scanning the forest of trees around me.

“Where—?”

I’m alone though. Mary dropped me and left me, all before I could mention the whole part-shifter thing—though she likely is already aware.

“You suck,” I say to the sky—to Mary—because despite the fact that most forests are identical, and the sun dipping deep into the trees gives way too little light, I know exactly where I am because I feel it all the way down to the base of my spine.

His forest.

My head thumps in apprehension. After he practically chased me away from the camp, will he welcome me back?

A breeze lifts my hair, reminding me of my limited choices. It’ll be dark within hours and Goddess knows how far we are from any town. Ryder’s my only chance and I hope he doesn’t turn me away.

And so, after filling my lungs with any air I can take in, I walk forward, breaking the line of trees until the circle of cabins fills my sight. The fire is roaring, and voices float from the area.

I shiver, slowing my steps. Ryder is close and for some reason, the knowledge eases my tense muscles. Deep down, I don’t think he’ll turn me away—at least I hope not.

I continue walking, my feet crunching over the branches and leaves underfoot.