Love at the Nth Time

Oath to Marriage Part One

Chapter 54

Choosing silence had not come to mind as a weakness, hence the conflict with my mom's wish for me. Considering the time to confront it head-on, I froze the urge to, my loving mother, who solely dreamt of giving us a better life every day with her little school background and the fine job she could get alongside it. The government was partly half to blame, yet I absolutely knew the mindset, environment, and actions my parents hadn't taken measures all the time they had in their young age till now.

Grudge didn't dwell in the past, which I had no control over and where acceptance would help me move forward to the things I could still change in my current situation. Even so, facing reality seemed not easy because of the words stated as mom's emotions mixed with happiness, excitement, and gratitude towards the man and his mom who gave us her blessing. Upon the marriage, the two mothers-in-laws had assumed it would be next year.

For 21 years, I lived with the family who gave birth to me. The always thought of leaving them pulled me back to the plan Chaoxiang and I made. However, the idea of living far apart from them to reach greater heights that would change our current life and I would be with the person I wanted every minute persuaded me otherwise.

"You should push this. He's rich and handsome. What more could you ask for?" advised Sheila, the 12-year-old girl who set her standards of the person she liked to marry by the merits sold on pocketbooks and movies. Except for father, the utensils clunked as we ate supper together at the dining table. There was a rattan table and chairs where I sat in the middle of Rocky and Jericho.

"Physical features will fade in time, Shiela," I responded by sending her a lesson to contemplate on. She looked at me with a scowl.

"But mom said, the lesbian is beautiful."

"She is, and tall," seconded mom, plucking the bones of the fish from Carla's plate.

"I didn't mean I'd settle for less," I didn't rise to the bait. Jericho slammed the glass of water on the table.

"Are you really pushing that? She's a lesbian," he stressed the last word. It's been days since he avoided interacting with me, and whenever he opened his mouth to point at me, about his disgust at the third gender—scornful laughter and putting up derisive jokes as to how he sees them. "You just got brokenhearted. Tch, it's a trust issue towards Bro Ryan, don't generalize men," he added, muttering. Shiela hissed, and proclaimed,

"Don't forget the man who abandoned us."

"So you think it's best to choose our father, a man?!" Jericho retaliated.

"Shut up, you two!" Mom yelled, and the spoon and fork in her hands squeaked on the platinum plate, which made my teeth cringe. "Don't talk bad about your father! He didn't abandon his kids," she defended.

Taking time to leave the daze over the screeching of the cutleries, it caught my mind not to heed the brawl of two younger siblings in front of me. But on a serious note, I took their heated argument funnily.

Tomorrow, Sunday, but tonight, the preparations for the upcoming Christmas event in the local church set us to work late at night. The rice cake mom made, which I helped her pack on a styro plate. The process of the native delicacy was spent with effort and time on producing the expected result of a tasty snack because mom was the one who made it. In addition, the vegetables and other ingredients we cut to prepare for cooking a pancit bihon tomorrow left the two of us occupied.

The wooden door automatically shut, and my steps advanced slowly, seeing Jericho frowning at me. I showed him the bowl of unusable veggies to add to the pig feed and walked to the container.

"How's the contest?" I asked normally. Last game, I heard no news from him, though I knew he was still joining past-time competitions with other boys of his age. He altered his eyes on the birdcage crafted from plastic straws, wood, and yarn he was busy with. His hands were full but not his mouth. I sighed a little. Our closeness hadn't even come an inch closer since I lived with our older sister in a condo unit for half a year, and we only visited the house once in a while. Now, it got further. "I still admire men of my liking, Jeric," I stated, staring at the chickens cuckooing here and there. "But I feel more grounded being with Seth, not that I like all the third genders now romantically, it's just Seth."

He gazed at me for a couple of seconds as though his mind moved alongside his hands. He was tying the yarn in a knot to the foundation of the cage. He reasoned, "Still, she's a girl. Same as you."

"What are you pointing at exactly?" His face lowered, and the lack of lighting displayed a shadow of us both, unclear of the reactions I wanted to catch at him.

"The pride of man," he uttered, almost escaping a breath of it. A beam of joy Jericho sees me as a disappointment to a soon-to-be man who set his ideals of finding a woman he'd love similar to me. "I want you to be disappointed in yourself." I laughed and hung my arm around him.

My brother saw me as a role model and induced me with a sigh of satisfaction. Although we were both dismayed, it didn't leave the fact that what they knew was I chose Chaoxiang. Concurrently, the confessions professed by their older sister, who'd soon marry, were just the feelings in the past who searched for someone to cover the wounds of a broken heart.

Early in the morning, the chickens cuck-a-doodle-doo woke the lazy children living in a simple house and soon walked their way to join the herd of people in the place to praise and give thanks to the Almighty. The Father in the religious sector preached a story included in the bible, which surrounded the night of the Lord being born and the three men who visited Him. As his story went on, it was a couple of months ago that I went to church, so it was kind of refreshing to me that being surrounded by people with similar beliefs signified peace.

"The sisters will go to the black Nazarene after Christmas. Come with me, Celine. You know I vowed not to miss your marriage," mom informed me. My eyes widened and bumped the person I passed by as I locked eyes with mom.

"What?"

Taking an oath to the Black Nazarene was a long-time belief of our country. Not generally, as it was specifically set to the religion I was born with and many testimonials that their wishes came true with the effort they had made in return similar to a sacrifice.

"Mom! You didn't tell me. Why did you take an oath to something like that??" My mixed emotions had taken control of me.

"It's for your sake! I want you to have a better future. I want for myself!" she murmured strongly.

Should I follow Michael's advice? Run away like what our father did? I could still support my mom and siblings financially. However, staying in this place might take away my life soon.

Should I take the lead in becoming a great image as a rebel to Shiela to get her a preference?

Should I just f*cking do both as they would bring me to the same ending?

"Celine." Alerted I was, my eyes altered at Seth, whose hands were full of the paper bags of different popular brands of clothes, jewelry, accessories, and shoes. Her hand reached some of them, and she dropped down the compartment door.

"You've been spacing out. Are you okay?" Staring at her for seconds to a minute, unaware of the time moving fast, I scanned the area to see a couple of moms in the distance watching us.

"Can we go back in the car?" I asked. I managed to compose myself though it was leaving me slowly. Seth put the bags in the hood again. As we sat in the car, I asked Seth to go somewhere else.

Damp eyes formed in mine before one of us uttered a word.

"Tell me what's wrong. I'm not a damn mind reader," Seth asserted.

Collecting myself, messed up thoughts to pick up the right ones to utter, along with the courage to show my firm standpoint, which would convince the woman who would typically not buy it if it failed.

"I already told mom about going to Europe. She approved it. She's very positive about it actually," I smiled, convincing myself as well. Seth nodded.

"Then?" My mind went blank as to what the other matter she wanted to know. Brows creased, she looked upfront in front of the restaurant where we parked the car. I shook my head no and shrugged.

"That's it." Seth stared at me. I did the same. I asked, "What?"

"Why did you wanna talk about that one mile away from your house?" Heart pounded, I looked the other way.

"I was thinking... if we could, um, wrap the things we bought?" I forced a smile and perfectly drew similar to a real one. Seth smiled, and her brows lifted.

"Seriously? Are we gonna do it piece by piece?" I chuckled, and her smile widened. She nodded, a gesture I only hoped to see.

We went to a gift store to do the work. We ordered a drink from a nearby cafe, then waited for 30 minutes to get the presents, which the two male staff assisted us in bringing them in the car.

At the entrance door, Shiela's jaw dropped with a potato chip she didn't continue to bite.