Love at the Nth Time

Feelings Reciprocated

Chapter 49

My slippers and the worn-out shoes Jonathan was wearing, we crossed down the dirt road. The backpack he carried and the plastic envelope full of his academic books clutched my hand. He's an intelligent student that mom chose to continue his schooling rather than Shiela, who had just entered her freshman in high school.

"Sis Rosa said she'd give me a gift as a reward," he normally announced whilst he ate the burger and fries I bought for achieving top 1 in class. I chuckled a little and stopped crossing the pedestrian lane with other students and guardians.

A week and three days since the eldest sibling of the family hadn't come home. She never missed contact, yet I hoped she could be here in this time of circumstances, where I chose to pick up Jonathan at school instead of listening to all of the pathetic outbursts of our mother because of lying to her. Thus, she's blaming Seth, who she only met once.

"Do you like girls?" A loud question came from a 9-year-old kid that roused me to check the other passerby who glanced at us.

"What do you mean? I admire people of my liking," I answered confidently to feed a curious expression he always drew. Round eyes, calm brows, and serious stare set the mind objectively with no emotions involved.

Outside the house, voices of the family scattered around, including mom. I put a faint smile on my face, meeting the eyes of Jonathan as mom spoke ill at Seth.

"Mom's crying again," Nathan mumbled, and entered the house amidst the quarrel between Jericho, Shiela, and mom. Sitting on the sofa, Jericho sighed and gazed at me once before he dashed outside the backyard. My eyes turned to Nathan, who gently took his envelope in my grip. Rocky and Carla ran to him in the room with the snacks.

Shiela mockingly scoffed as she rolled her eyes at me. "Don't roll your eyes on me, Shiela," I threatened, and moved past her as she stood still on the dining table with a hand leaning on the chair. I checked the rice on the container, composing myself and my mind wandered firmly to the task I'd work on the business later on. "Is there anything needed to buy aside from rice, ma?" I asked.

"I'll buy them," Shiela interjected, facing me with an open hand, literally.

"Where did you go last night?" She sneered and looked down at me.

"Where's the money?"

"I'm not giving you any. Answer me," I dared Shiela.

"Do I have to tell you I slept with a girl?" Brows furrowed, she's too immature to start a mind-blowing fight with me.

"Is it Cheska?" I mentioned her friend's name, whom she always went to a sleepover with. She hissed and walked out, yelling out at her younger siblings to get out of the room. I scanned the condiments on the rack placed in the sink.

"Mom, I have to go to work," I asserted. An aged hand rested on the sink as she stood beside me. I looked at her.

"Are you a lesbian, Ceng?" My heart pounded, loud enough to pass through my ear. I always avoided answering a difficult question and running away from it was to shoot a question, not point the subject at me.

"Is that what you told them? Mom, we're just friends. Look at how Shiela sees me now," I murmured. Still, the tension didn't disappear. I was diverting my focus to the dry and cold food on the refrigerator.

"Let's all go to church this Sunday." With my closed, I tried my hardest best to monitor my breathing as it was escaping me. The hand slowly closed the refrigerator to show unaffected. "Rosalinda said she'd receive a good amount. We can treat your siblings somewhere afterwards," mom added earnestly. The pleading smile on her face, the burden it weighed, my voice seemed wicked — I could only nod.

*One New Message

Seth: A smart ass, indeed. I wanna treat him somewhere. When is a good time?

Sighed heavily as though the opportunity appeared more distant to hold onto. Even with the continuous work, I used to help me forget the pain. My endurance had its limits too. Opening up to the eldest child about my true feelings, I wanted to explore more and the odds alongside it.

"Sis." I glanced up at Michael as he sat beside me on the blocks. A chilly night with a Christmas song played by the neighbour in the distance. I remained to do my job late at night.

"Aren't you sleepy yet?" I inquired. Michael was a quiet kid. Although he possessed an adult way of thinking, he didn't cross the line of outranking me. The house door creaked, and we watched Jericho inspect the spiders he was hiding above the chicken barn. He saw us and went inside the house.

"Bro's stupid. They'll get eaten," Michael presumed. I chuckled and agreed. Sniffed as I couldn't keep it anymore resulted from tears staying in my eyes. "Why aren't you running away?" I glanced at him, and his chin lowered down. "In no time, you'll realize it too. Like father," he mumbled.

Unable to express in words the ambiguous reason, especially the person who was not living by the standards of how the world was set at the beginning, where few people could only understand them. I smiled gently. Somewhat, I perceived the kids surrounding me had the chance to notice those people too.

However, who was I to point at them what was right and wrong, as they were not born from me?

"I don't think it is similar to how father thinks. You'll miss me if I leave," I responded, smiling with watery eyes. He looked the other way and groaned a bit. Chuckled, my hand ruffled his hair. "It's good to mind the situation we have, Mike. You'll learn a lot, but don't forget, you're still too young. If I were you, I'd rather choose to be a kid and play whatever children's games could offer me," I suggested as we looked at the vast field of land with trees hard to view as they were covered by night.

Our conversation comforted me. I was lying beside Shiela on the floor as we slept on a mattress, sufficient for us. I had no reason to get mad at her, even though she did not understand me. Her rebellious phase was generated by her environment, which was not my control.

*One New Message

Seth: Are you sleeping already? Wanna call you

"I apologize if I only met you today." Eyes on an expensive dish, aware the food wasn't the one to receive the sorry. However, my reluctant attitude displayed greater the moment of seeing Chaoxiang again.

"Celine, your boyfriend-"

"Ex," I amended. He nodded in disbelief.

"Look, he only knows what's best for you," he implied.

"What? To marry you?" Another betting playoff of Ryan, I assumed. I hadn't spoken with him, given that he introduced me to someone he decided one-sidedly. Chaoxiang sighed.

"We still have a lot of time to reconsider. I've known Ryan for years. He may be a jerk, but he still cares for you and your family." I stood up, where it caught other Chinese restaurant customers' attention. I was wearing a qipao dress that he gave me, in addition to the gifts I regretted accepting. Leaning closer to state a fact to him,

"Tell him to leave my family alone."

*On Call… Rose

"You're fierce," she laughed proudly. I smiled and tucked down the hem of the dress, then flushed the toilet.

"I wonder how much bet they lay out, if I accepted," I mumbled and checked myself on the mirror in the public restroom, still in the same mall of the city. I felt sexy and powerful talking back to a rich man.

"Scary. Mark didn't like the idea he was related to Ryan. Talk to you later." Sis dropped the call as the background filled with noises of chatter. I took a deep breath, missing going to the business office. It's more than an hour trip, and hell no, would I come there wearing something, a hint of someone who went on a date.

It's a waste to end of showing off the clothes, though. I took a picture of myself and sent it to Seth's social account. She's offline. My heart skipped a trillion beats as I realized what I had just done and before I could delete it. She had already seen the photo.

Shoot. What reason should I make up? Alerted, I accepted the audio call.

"Video," Seth ordered firmly.

"No, I'm in the restroom."

"Pardon? I'm aware, seeing your photo." I laughed. Seconds later, she spoke again, "You're happy. Something good happened?"

"Yup. May you rate the dress?"

"It's… perfect," she said in a low tone. My eyes looked up quickly. I knew it would come to this.

"I-"

"Don't. Just don't. Deny or lie, no," Seth mumbled. My heart clenched along with the grip on the phone.

"Hear me out first. I met up with Chaoxiang, yes, but I rejected him, sorta."

"Sort of?" I nodded and shrugged, walked into the hallway, and went window shopping.

"It's not clearly stated, but I told him to tell Ryan to leave my family alone," I uttered in mere honesty and provided her with more details. She chuckled softly.

"Where exactly are you?"

"Err, in the mall where we used to eat dinner with your dad. The night you asked me to accompany you to the restroom merely to make up an excuse." Seth laughed merrily, and my heart skipped a beat as her laughter formed an assured smile on my face.

"I'll fly in haste. A game to escape a bloody pack," Seth whispered.

I did not understand what Seth said. Still, I agreed to wait for her. Idling in the arena at the back of the building, a flash in memory where our first kiss took place, and it was at the moment that confusion towards the s****l preference became more precise, as I did not find it unpleasant, rather thrilling.