Love at the Nth Time

Sentimental Value

Chapter 32

"Seth, what's the feeling of having a fling?" I looked at her on the screen of the phone. She glanced at me for a second and worked again.

There was no specific reason to tell her the past collided with the present passion of following the path of creating something whilst the warmth of affection remained.

"Don't you have dos and don'ts?"

"Don't fall in love. You'll lose."

"Lose, to where?

"Flings are just flings. Rules are set without commitment. If they are convenient, they will be there for each other."

Halted by the schedule on the phone set by Win, I mentioned to him the change of schedule for the last week of the month. He came to work after a month and a week's vacation. I thought he'd be more efficient to make up for all the days he missed. What's the schedule he listed for the first week of next month?

"Why do you like it?" I stopped turning the page of the schedule and faced Celine.

"None of your business," I replied.

There's something wrong with me. Ever since I turned the age of this year, I felt heavy inside, as if something wanted to be pulled out, yet I had no courage to act. My throat stuck up, chest clenched without a way to loosen it. I felt my subconscious wasn't in my physical body anymore. For real, I needed help, but even if someone offered their hand, no words came out. As the world set a system I had no idea how to escape.

"Why did you call me?"

"Ha? Are you really asking that question? Of course, I wanna talk to you. Whew, it's the first time you asked me that." Eyes on the laptop, I wanted her to believe all the words I said at this time, in our scene, were all true.

"I want you to lessen talking to me." She looked and focused on me at last. I was trying to call the attention of someone listening to my chatter.

"Why?" Celine questioned.

"I need some important things to do, and you're so used to me. You need to have someone-" I evaded Celine's gaze. I uttered, "Nah, forget it."

"I see." I looked at her again.

I didn't know she'd take it seriously. Somehow, my reasoning of the current state embraced me with delusion and anxiety, which I hoped someone would understand deeply.

Message

Seth: Good morning. I got this thing I ordered online. So cool!

Seth: Celine, you're visiting the company today?

Seth: Celine, WRY?

I tried to reach out to her, yet to no avail. It's annoying.

Message

Celine: No, why?

Seth: Come here, I'll show you something.

Celine: I'm busy

Seth: Don't busy me! You'll be here at dinner!

She didn't respond. What the heck.

Win's hand waved in front of my face. "Hoy, boss Seth, hello?"

"Shut up, Win." The line only rang.

"You've been staring at your phone for hours, seriously? You have projects you need to finish, you know."

"I know. She's not answering or replying to my texts."

"Oh, maybe busy?"

"She can make time to reply to my text at least."

"You fought with her?"

"No." I threw my phone on the desk and stood up. Sauntered through the door, I added, "Whatever, I'll just get something to drink." I lit a cig and let out the first smoke.

"Hello sir, good morning," greeted by a male employee as he passed by me, entering inside the building, I breathed in and took out the smoke in the air and let the long balcony wash it away.

Someone laughed softly and caught sight of a girl with a female employee eating at one of the tables. Watching them close, she's similar to Celine, timid when I first met her.

The hand flicked the ash on the cigar off the ground, and eyes followed as the girl stood up and walked towards my way.

Our eyes met in a quick second as she lowered her head and moved past me.

"Hey." She stopped and faced me.

"Yes, Sir?" Although she called me a higher rank, the employees wore a specific uniform that she didn't follow.

She's not my type. Let's see.

Message

Lucia: I'm on the way, Sir.

Crap, dangerous as it might sound, I'd try dating a girl not my type solely to see how it went. Ugh. The wrong move was she was dad's employee!

I smiled. Lucia wore jeans and polo. What a look-alike type. Jackpot. It wouldn't take long to know if there was quite a resemblance.

"What are you doing after work?" Seated straight on the chair in the corner of a café, she sipped on the glass of Americano I bought, which she chose and was still reluctant to order.

"Um, going home, Sir," she spoke too formally. Well. I smiled and chuckled. She looked up at me.

"No need to be so shy. I want to know you more, can I?"

Lucia wasn't so easy at gaining her trust. She always refused what I offered her, like a single bracelet or wristwatch. She's reserved. Was it because of my position?

Message

Lucia: It's not like I don't wanna hang out with you, Sir. I'm just embarrassed because you're the one who asked me out.

Seth: Don't be. It would be easier for us to be closer if we'd open ourselves to each other.

Another message I received from Celine, and the moment I typed my reply to her, Lucia forwarded a reply I approached first.

The next day, Lucia and I ate lunch. She's simple, but she's kind of cute. I didn't notice at first.

"May I know where Ma'am Celine, sir, is?"

"Celine?"

"Yes, Sir. She's not coming to the office. I always saw her, though."

"Ah. Celine's busy. Anyway, what are your plans for this weekend?"

I never thought I would get easily attached to this Lucia. Perhaps I was simply comfortable being with someone so simple as Celine because she let me get used to it.

I looked at the folder Win put on my desk. He inquired, "You okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I saw you having dinner with an employee in a restaurant last night. Haven't you learned your lesson from Chinnie?" I sighed.

"Chinnie and Lucia are different. She's honest and simple."

"Ha? Since when, what now? Are you looking for a serious relationship?"

"Maybe," I replied.

"Why don't you choose Celine?" I stopped moving my finger as I put my signature on the approved budget.

"We're done." Win laughed.

"As if there's something between you two, anyway," he jested. I glared at him. He laughed and walked by the door. "Do what you want. Just don't mess around with the company."

Message

Seth: Celine|

I was getting more and more used to not talking with Celine as I deliberated my attention to Lucia. Although I thought of her, I kept trying to talk and be with Lucia, so I got to know her a lot. She's the breadwinner of 4 siblings, with no father. She's intelligent and good at cooking. She's also good at singing.

A knock on the door, Lucia smiled. My brows lifted on the box of cupcakes in her hand.

"Yeah, come in," I said as she greeted me. It's been a week since I stepped foot in her world of friendly connection. Similar to Celine, I couldn't see myself treating them with the same women my type.

"You made this?" I asked and gazed at her, opening the box of the sweets.

"Yes, sir, I was planning to put up a pastry business online," she answered with a shy smile.

"That's nice. Why don't we eat it together?"

"Ah, I'm sorry it's not yet my break." I shook my head and stood up.

"That's okay. I'll inform Win about this. I'll make tea for us." I headed to the dressing room, and had a counter enough to prepare the usual tea, which halted me to move as I remembered the only person I served it with. I only shared this tea with Celine.

No, it's going to be okay. Doing this could change the channel of events between us. I grunted a little as the heaviness inside me heightened the moment I poured the hot water on the platinum glass of which I solely stored two all this time. What was I doing? My mom's favourite beverage she served, especially for me. Why was I letting a stranger be a part of it?

I went out to take a gander at Lucia. "Ah, Lucia, do you want something aside from tea?" My heart pounded as my eyes turned to the familiar black rounded eyes gazing back at me in the doorway.

The black hair levelled below her shoulder, faced me and lowered her head. "Um, no sir, I'll just get back to work," said Lucia, and glanced at Celine, later exiting the room.

Eyes on the floor, I felt crap. I lifted my head and smiled as Celine walked near me. I stated, "Long time no see."

"I came here to meet with business partners. Who's she?"

"Who? Lucia? She's the woman I'm now dating seriously, I think." I sniffed, and my eyebrows furrowed out of self-doubt and stupidity. Celine nodded hesitantly and stood in front of me with a paper in her hand.

"Anyway, these are the certificates of some of your employees who got an award. I thought it'd be more meaningful if you're the one who gave it to them." She smiled. I stared at the useless papers.

"You came here just to give that crap to me."

"What? They put effort and everything into getting it, you know."

"Tsk! Why don't you give it to Win and pass your message to him?! You don't need to come here just to give me shit."

"Sorry, did I interrupt you?" I looked at her so pissed off.

"Yes. We'll eat Lucia's cupcakes together, and you barged in." She looked down.

"Sorry," she mumbled and strode off the door. I bit the back of my lip.

What the hell was I doing?

Message

Seth: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you. Let's eat out for me to make up for you.

Celine: I understand. No need. Give your time to your priorities.

Seth: Stupid!! You are so stupid!! You|

Don't start it, Seth.

I covered my eyes. I was changed because of Celine, feeling like a crybaby these days because of her. All of these emotions deeply digging inside me wanted to burst out.