Chapter 4: The Letter He Left Behind
1198 Words
By the beginning of their final year, Elara could no longer pretend Dorian was only a rival.
She thought of him when she was tired.
When she was happy.
When she saw something ridiculous and wanted someone to understand why it was funny.
She imagined what it would be like if he ever stopped looking through people and chose to look only at her.
Then Julian Mercer arrived.
Their teacher introduced him on a Monday morning.
Julian had recently returned from overseas and carried himself with an easy confidence that was the opposite of Dorian’s reserve. He smiled when people spoke to him. He answered questions without making anyone feel foolish. Within minutes, half the class had decided they liked him.
The empty seat beside Elara was the only one available.
“May I?” Julian asked.
“It’s a chair,” she said. “I don’t own it.”
He laughed and sat down.
“I’m Julian.”
“Elara.”
“What do you do when you’re not terrifying new students?”
“I haven’t terrified you.”
“Not yet.”
She liked him immediately.
Not in the dangerous way she liked Dorian.
Julian was easy.
He had lived in several countries and could tell a story without sounding as though he wanted admiration for it. He liked travel, games, and terrible adventure films. By lunch, he and Elara had argued about three movies and planned a hypothetical trip neither of them could afford.
Daphne leaned over during the next break.
“You’ve known him for four hours.”
“Your point?”
“You usually need at least a day before you start insulting someone affectionately.”
“Julian is normal.”
From across the room, Dorian looked up.
Elara noticed.
His expression revealed nothing, but his gaze remained on Julian’s hand where it rested near her notebook.
Then he looked away.
The reaction lasted only a second.
Elara still carried it with her for the rest of the day.
Julian became one of her closest friends during their final year. He was present, warm, and uncomplicated. When Elara was nervous about examinations, he made her laugh. When she forgot lunch, he shared his. When she became quiet after seeing Dorian across the courtyard, Julian did not demand explanations.
That should have made everything easier.
Instead, it proved that what she felt for Dorian had nothing to do with convenience.
Julian could give her every reason to choose him.
Her eyes still searched for Dorian first.
Graduation examinations arrived in early summer.
Rain fell for two days, turning the school grounds gray.
Elara performed slightly below her usual level and still ranked near the top of their year.
Her friends found her at home several days later, curled on the end of the sofa with an unopened book in her lap.
“You ranked third,” Lydia said. “You’re behaving as though you failed.”
“It isn’t the score.”
Daphne sat beside her. “Then what is it?”
Elara looked at the four girls who had known her most of her life.
Daphne. Lydia. Tessa. Colette.
They had heard her argue about everything. They had seen her lose competitions, win awards, and laugh at people who treated romance like a medical emergency.
She had never told them the truth about Dorian.
“I think I love him,” she said.
No one needed to ask who.
Daphne’s mouth fell open.
Colette was the first to recover. “Dorian?”
Elara nodded.
“For how long?” Tessa asked.
“Three years. Maybe.”
“Maybe?”
“I didn’t understand it at first.”
Lydia moved closer. “Have you told him?”
Elara laughed without humor. “Have you met him?”
“That isn’t an answer.”
“No. I haven’t.”
“Then tell him,” Daphne said.
“And let him look at me like I’ve lost my mind?”
“He already calls you Lioness,” Colette said. “How much worse can it get?”
Elara threw a cushion at her.
But later, when the laughter faded, she listened.
Her friends were right about one thing.
Graduation would end the daily excuses. No more rankings. No more shared corridors. No more finding him alone in the library and pretending she needed the nearest seat.
If she did nothing, Dorian could disappear from her life without ever knowing.
“I’ll tell him when the final admissions are confirmed,” Elara said.
“Why wait?” Lydia asked.
“Because then I’ll know where he’s going. Maybe we’ll be in the same city.”
Daphne groaned. “You are finding reasons to delay.”
“I need one week.”
She believed one week was nothing.
She did not yet understand that sometimes an entire life could turn on a week.
The day students returned to collect their final documents, Elara arrived early.
Dorian’s desk was empty.
She told herself he was late.
An hour passed.
Cassian stood near the classroom door with an envelope in his hand.
“Elara?”
She was beside him before he finished saying her name.
“Where is Dorian?”
Cassian hesitated.
“Did he already come? Is he with the administration? Do you know which university he chose?”
“He left.”
The words seemed too simple.
“Left where?”
“Westbridge.”
“When?”
“Last night.”
“Why didn’t he say anything?”
Cassian looked uncomfortable. “He asked me to give you this.”
He held out the envelope.
Elara stared at it.
Her name was written across the front in Dorian’s precise handwriting.
“Where did he go?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re his friend.”
“I know he’s going overseas. He didn’t tell me everything.”
“Will he come back?”
Cassian did not answer.
Elara took the letter.
Her friends stood several feet away, watching her with worried faces.
She stepped into the empty classroom and sat at her old desk.
Dorian’s seat near the window had already been cleared.
Elara ran one finger beneath the envelope seal.
For weeks, she had imagined how she would tell him.
She had planned to be direct. To look him in the eye. To refuse to let him laugh her out of the room.
Now he had left without giving her the chance.
She unfolded the letter.
Elara,
What you feel belongs to these years, this school, and the rivalry you created between us. Do not mistake familiarity for love, and do not wait for something I never promised—
She stopped reading.
The rest of the words blurred.
“Elara?” Daphne called softly from the doorway.
Elara folded the letter along its original lines.
“I’m fine.”
She placed it inside her bag.
“You don’t look fine,” Lydia said.
“He’s gone.” Elara stood. “That’s all.”
She walked past them before anyone could touch her.
Dorian had not given her a chance to confess.
He had given her something else instead.
A rejection she would remember for seven years.
- Writer
