Letters from the Beyond

The Room: An Introspective Essay on Loneliness and Despair

The Room

Abandoned to myself. Left adrift. I long for a kind, peaceful, calm, and stable life. Instead, I have known complete failure. Poverty and misery—physical, material, and spiritual. It’s over. It’s finished. I have nothing left to do in this world.

Thus, she wrote in her solitude, in a lifeless, impoverished room. The life she desired—friends, love, pleasure—was nowhere to be found in this space. Every day, she poured her suffering onto paper, enduring the weight of her misery and loneliness. The absence of relationships had pushed her into a world of fantasy, where musician friends supported and surrounded her. Her dreamed-of love was a musician. With him, she lived, laughed, and shared beautiful days. But the dream always ended too soon. The room reappeared in all its emptiness and poverty.

No more parties, no more laughter, no more joy. Now, silence filled the walls, stretching time endlessly. Once again, she had to face the void that soaked into her real life. She didn’t understand how she had ended up here. What had happened to deserve such a sentence—this isolation in every form? Why was she paying such a harsh price? Why was her fate so cruel?

She wanted to end it but lacked the courage. And so, her life continued, frozen between a reality of hardship and a fantasy where everything was within reach.

I have always been the joke of children, the one they mocked, insulted, and despised. They never wanted me. I never experienced friendship, complicity, or youthful flirtations—only rejection and scorn. I don’t even know why.

I had a few relationships, but all of them were terrible. I never mattered—only their desires did. I had no right to anything. Today, I am alone. Strangers insult me in the street, cough in my face, and tap their heads to suggest I am crazy. They don’t even know who I am. I speak to no one where I live, yet I am targeted, as if they want to break me.

I have always longed to find someone—to build a family, have children, to be loved and protected. But all I have found is cruelty, malice, and the desire to destroy me.

Today, I just want it to end. I have no reason left to go on.