The Lycan's Healer Mate

Chapter 4 Lonely Souls

Mia's POV

The current of Silver River is more fast-flowing and treacherous than it appears to be. We are drifting with the choppy waters and Rayan grabs underneath my arms from behind and keeps kicking to ensure both of us can lift our heads clear of the water to breathe. It is a terrible moment. Ryan keeps talking soothingly to me, promising he would carry me to the shore, but I can't stop screaming until a powerful current hits the larynx at the back of my throat and I literally swallow a mouthful of water. The accidental event worsens the situation. I choke and get even more panicked, struggling on the surface and my frightened grip around Ryan's neck tightens.

"I am sinking! I am drowning! "I shout at him hysterically.

"Breathe. You are ok. You won't be able to scream if you are drowning. Open your eyes and have a look. In fact, half of your upper body was above the surface." Ryan smirks and adds, "Would you mind loosening your hold a bit?"

"Easy for you to say. "I huff.

"Not easy for me to speak, though. You are strangling me" His tone is playful, his breath unsteady.

I lower my gaze to cover my reddened cheeks. I feel even more embarrassed when I find his request so simple yet I can't simply satisfy it. Part of me worries bad things would happen to me once I loosen the grip while the other side of me feel desperate to listen to him despite my resolve not to trust anyone anymore. In the end I manage to loosen the hold slightly out of concern for his being short of breath. But I only let go of my fingers a little bit.

The movement is so slight that I wonder if Ryan would ever notice it. He probably wouldn't. He may gradually run out of his patience, blame me for being so slow and eventually threaten me to make it quick or he will do this himself. I would obey his demand or defend myself before I obey. Either way, I would let go of my hand and let fate decide my destiny.

Ryan could be decent enough to carry me to the shore to keep his promise. Or he could simply forget ( or pretend to forget) what he had promised and abandon the useless girl who was stupid enough to strangle her rescuer. Days later, if my body hadn't been eaten by fish, it would have been carried by the current to the shore and discovered by people. Hopefully, my face was still recognizable so that they could bring my body to the Black Moon pack and let the Council address the rest. No funeral would be held, that's for sure, for the ceremony cost time and money and our Council had small budget for omegas. They didn't hold a funeral for mom but buried her in a hurry and there is any reason for them to treat me better. I would rest beside my mom, not in peace though. Probably I would be restless about the epitaph they chose to inscribe on my tombstone *Here lies Mia Hill, daughter to the moon. She was sold down to the river twice yet only survived the first time.*

"Thank you." my mind drifts away until a soft voice makes me snap out of my thoughts.

I am stunned by what I heard. I had made numerous predictions and even considered the worst situation, but none of them happened. I jerk my head up to see if this is a touch of sarcasm but the smile on Ryan's face overthrows my theory.

"For what? "I muse.

"For trusting me with your safety. For trying your best to loosen the grip. I know how hard it is to act against one's survival instinct. "Ryan shrugs and grins, "You have been super brave and now both of us can breathe."

My cheeks blushe fiercely and I lower my face down and down, not wanting him to notice I am flattered. I am an inch away from the curve of his neck and it looks incredibly inviting, but in the end the rationality takes the best side of me and I resist the temptation to bury my face there. Intimacy is good. But I am afraid I can't bear the loneliness when the connection is broken.

"Careful. "Ryan assists me in landing first and joins me in a split of a second. He lies on his back with his arms fully stretched, letting out a sigh of relief and asks, "Don't you want to lie down and rest for a while?"

Sensing my hesitation, he raises an eyebrow at me, "What? I don't bite."

"Yeah, I know." I smile and lie down beside him, looking at the night's stared face. In a trance, I seem to see mom sitting on huge clouds, singing me a lullaby with a consoling smile on her face. I dare not blink until the vision fades and she vanishes into all the millions of stars. I whimper before I can control myself, "Please don't go."

"What?" Ryan tilts his head and turns to face me, "Are you alright?"

"I am fine." I assure him and clarify myself, "I wasn't talking to you. I was in delusion, seeing my mom."

"I know what you are talking about." he nods and whispers, "I've had that same experience."

"You have?"

"Yeah. My parents died when I was very young. Back then I didn't even understand what death was. I had thought they were just on a trip to a remote place and one day they would come back, bringing me a pile of souvenirs as compensation for keeping me waiting for such a long time." Ryan shrugs, "Yet as time goes by, I became mature enough to accept the sorrowful truth that they wouldn't be back. It was annoying for someone to admit things he had been desperate to deny. There was a period of time I was haunted by the thought of my parents' death and everything could easily trigger my memory, forcing me to review the scene where my parents were attacked by rouges and bled to death."

My heart sinks at his mention that his parents died because of the rouge attack.

"I didn't mean to upset you." Ryan seems to sense my distress. He gives me an embarrassing half-laugh, muttering that his intention is to make me feel better but he isn't good at comforting people and I must forgive his rudeness—

"You are not rude." I can't help but interrupt him, "You know how to comfort people and you are the most generous soul I've ever met in my entire life. Why are you so nice to me?"

"Must there be a reason?" Ryan raises his eyebrow at me and teases, "then this could be love at first sight, like what was recorded in old tales. The hero and heroine, two lonely souls, wandered in the forest and were deeply attracted by each other since the moment they met. What else would you expect them to do? They can only fall in love and take good care of each other."

"This is romance cliché." I scoff, "Your taste couldn't be better."

"This is classic." Ryan retorts, "Stories like this were highly praised by the bards and have been passed down from generation to generation. You should show their taste some respect."

"You are right." I hold back my laughter and ask, "May I ask where did you learn those stuff?"

"Pack library. I am a voracious reader."

"Library? Your pack has a library?"

"Yes. It is said to be the largest library." Ryan answers proudly.

"Larger than the royal library?" I doubt if he overexaggerats the size.

Ryan blinks at my words and answers with a delighted chortle, "It is as large as the royal library."

Was there any laughing matters in my question? Or why there would be a smirk playing on his lips?

"How did you know? You have been to the both?" I ask curiously.

"In a way, yes."

I shake my head in disbelief, "How could it be possible for you to enter the royal library?"

"I happen to be an acquaintance of the lycan king."

"No way," I exclaime and sit up so that I can better scrutinize Ryan's expressions and tell if he is kidding or bragging. But the moment I glance down at Ryan, I can't take my eyes off him.

The moonlight allows me to see his face clearly, making me realize the man in front of me is handsome in an understated way. His eyes are sapphire blue, having the same startling clarity as a mountain stream and the lineaments of his face are in perfect proportion to each other. He carries a pointed nose and his angular cheekbones carve down towards a flinty jaw. His skin is white, contrasting nicely with his radiant lips.

I stare at him for a long time and force myself to look away, totally forgetting what my original plan is. I quickly lie back to break the eye contact I can no longer hold and clear my throat. "I am tired. I want to sleep now. Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"I'd love to but I can't. I must go back to my pack before the sunrise." Ryan explains and adds in a hurry, "Would you like to come with me?"

"I'd love to but I can't." I reply with the same answer and a bitter smile, "They haven't relieved me from my duties to my pack. If I go with you without any explanations, there could be trouble. I need some time to persuade the Council to let me leave."

"Right." Ryan knits his eyebrow and offers an alternative, "How about we meet at a ball? There happens to be one that will be held at the Red Mansion tomorrow. It is open to everyone and there will be no reason for your pack to stop you from attending."

"You are truly well-informed." I muse, surprised at his sharpness to news and I ask curiously, "Are you a regular guest?"

"Yes, but I've been forced to attend." Ryan laughs, "This one will be different."

"Is there anything special about this ball?"

"It will be." Ryan assures me with a bright smile and says, "It will be special as long as you are there."

He is really a flirt. I flap to bury my face in the meadow, heart thumping in my chest. I take a deep breath to calm down and say, "It is nearly dawn. You should go now."

"Promise me you will come."

"I will try."

"Give me your word." Ryan insists.

"Fine. You have my word." I give up and wave him goodbye while peering through the meadow and see him grin like a Cheshire cat.

It dawns on me that I would never be able to fall for this guy someday in the future, as I am already in love with him at that moment.