Midnight thoughts

Us

It had been days and days become weeks, and I'd never talked to you and if I had a chance, I treat you coldly and dead we never talked the same as the first time at first you thought I had a mood swing or something, but then when you slowly realize, you start your way to have space between you and me and maybe I guess everything will now settle on their places, I'm going back for who I am.

Everything is not easy, because there's a part of me that, that change is a nice place, a beautiful thing that happened to me, but I'm not part of his world.

I still love you, and these feelings will always find ways to keep you in my heart even if there's someone in your heart that you loved the most. Like a wave in the sea that is searching the seaside, like a butterfly and bee that is searching for flowers and like a person who's searching for her partner in life. I will always search for you in my mind, in my heart and my soul. You saved me and showed me what beautiful life is, and letting you go and be free is the only thing that I know to reciprocate the goodness of your soul.

I need to lose you, to find my real self, you need to lose me to find who you want, I'll sacrifice because I love you the most, It's okay that I'll be the one to cry at midnight, It's okay to see you happy than to see you being messed up because you choose me over the girl that you want, I'll be fine don't need to bother, I lived once alone and I'm used to it, thank you because you just put colours in my life and that's enough. You need to leave me now before it's too late, you need to save yourself and be with the person you like, the girl you always talk to back in the woods, in the school, the girl that you're proud of, and I'll watch you rose from the ground and grow.

I lived and I learned something about this, about what happened to us, I learn that if someone says that you're a good person or they want to be friends with you, believed them, because it was good to have someone by your side, but then if they want to leave allow them because all of us is like a bird, we will never be freed if there's someone locked you up in the cage, we will never be free if we are still prisoner of the past that's why I let you go.

Many weeks later and turns to be months, I lived on my own, I still watch the midnight, but now I'm alone, I still go to the middle of the woods hoping to see you there but even a glimpse of you never showed up, I still going to the places that we've been through because that's always made me smile.

Now I'm walking down to the woods, but it was a surprise to see you there, I want to run towards you and hug you tight just like before when I had enough courage I started walking towards you, but then the girl that you're talking about showed up and I never saw it coming, you both looked happy, just like us before. My tears went wild, there like on a race, I gasped when you looked at me so, I hide in the big tree hoping that you never saw me, because if you see me all the things that I do are going to be messed up, you're free now I don't want you to be with me again and felt not enough. I walked and run out of the woods and promise that I'll never walk back to the woods, I'm happy for you because now I see how happy you are when you're with her rather than you're with me.

When I got home, I laid my body in the bed and started crying, I thought when I saw you happy with someone else everything would be just fine, but when I saw you laughing with her there was something that stab my heart that makes me feel weak, I cried and cried and the rain start to sprinkling, pour and bucketing down I feel so low and down, and then I heard someone knocking in my door, I don't want to open it, I even don't want to stand but when I hear you yelling my name from outside, I stunned and my tears suddenly stop I don't know what to do, you beg and pleading that's why I open it, Yo are soaked from the rain you're clothes are all wet, you looked like a poor boy, you looked me in the eye and asked if I go to the woods, I lied I said no but you don't buy it.

"What is wrong with you? why you're pushing me away? did I do wrong?" you asked, I just shake my head and say "I'm saving you" You seemed so confused. Saving me from what you said, I just cry and hung my head down you just hug me and plead with me to don't do that again.

You hold my hand, and the air touches our skin, I fall for you and upon looking at you I just realize that you're falling for me too, we both fall to each other, we are going down and down, we don't know what will happen to us, but the thing is it's alright even it's hurt or not, even we cracked are bones or not we have each other to catch when we keep falling, we will make this nightmare into something new, these love is good, these love is bad, we slowly falling and the wind that keep pushing me towards you was f*****g beautiful we're like a leaves that dancing in the wind, we knew that we will fall but because we enjoy so much we forgot what will happen in the end.

We fell together, we fell on the water, we were both sucked by the water and we were going down and down until we both felt the water floor but even a single glimpse of being scared or being afraid never step-in into my mind because you were there smiling, we swam together, we luxuriated every single second of it. I love it, I love you.