Midnight thoughts

Open doors for summer

These days were too hot, I wondered if this hot vibe of summer was like my feelings towards him, hot and burning, passionate and pure. I'm getting comfortable in his company and I think soon I'd become more open to him, I can say what I truly felt or my opinions about something.

I don't know what to do for today. I keep staring at the screen of my phone, well it's Saturday. The feeling that you want to be productive because this is the only time that you're free but you don't know what to do or where to start and also the word "lazy keeps creeping in.

This is our last day of spring and our professor allowed us to do things that we want for 3 weeks, James asked me to go with him after class and assure me that he know a place that was magical and enchanted. It's in the woods nearby at our school, he's not lying when he said that he knows a magical place, the tree was high and the grass was green and the branches of trees that gave this place a mysterious vibe, looking up in there it's like they're connected to each other it feels so good. I wandered my eyes around and then James told me that this place is his special place, this is the place where all of his grief and sadness are engraved in addition this place is what he hated the most but he also said that even though we hate the place there's still beauty in it you just need to look for it. While he was saying that he was looking directly into my eyes.

"Like this place, it looks scary outside but inside it was beautiful, it's like you actually" he said, I was confused and it was reflected into my face reason for him to laugh politely, "You looked scary outside but there's a crystal gem and kind soul inside that's what you are" My cheeks turned red and my heart beat comes louder and louder it feels like there's a tiger and elephant roaring and fighting inside, flabbergasted was the right word, I didn't know that someone will appreciate me for who I am, it's was heartwarming words, it was a strong word that gives you a positive feeling it gives you a wonderful feeling, a feeling that is joyful and no words can tell how much happy you are. I smiled, I smiled with the most genuine smile that I can give and then he patted my head, his words were roses he even say that I am beautiful, I was drowning in his sweet words and I love it, I love every word that he says towards me, I think every people wants compliments and endearment, so, do I.

We sat down under the branch of the tree and start reminiscing our fondest and better days and memories with the person that has had a big impact on our lives, at that day I found out that you were here in this place when your grandmother died and that's the reason why you hated this place for a very long time and you're accusing yourself because you lost the person that gives you happy days in your life. I feel sorry for you and at the same time, I'm glad because of me you had one more chance to come back here.

At that time I want to tell you that it's not your fault, no one wants it, it was the time. The time was already ended, I want to say to you that the people you loved that left were not already dead, they're alive in your heart but I don't have the courage because I'm not there when you're facing those problems of yours, so I just watch you cry and give you empathy.

When you started crying I don't know why but there's a part of me that I want to cry with you, I want you to share your burdens with me, maybe that's the part of us, being a human we tend to feel sad when someone is sad we share the feelings and I think that makes as human with a kind heart and a good soul.

You wiped your tears and start to laugh, you tell me that this is the first time that someone saw you cry I feel special that time because in a short time, every day we learn something new about ourselves, we experience struggles about the differences that we had but look at us laughing, crying in our past experiences and storytelling what life we had before, making fun in our ache and I guess, we took another level of being friends together.

I look up at the sky and the sun rays kissed my skin, it was magical, I put my hands up and try to feel the ray in my hand, it felt warm and relaxing and when I looked at you, I saw you looking at me. The eyes that are green and the beautiful visual of your face are part of this magical place, it gives this place a dazzling light somehow. When I came back to my senses all the thing I can do is to smile and we decided to go home.

We walked together to go outside the woods I can't help myself but to smile and be happy, this happiness is different, it's not something that I'm happy about because there's a joke with a good punch but happiness from within. Happiness from the heart that accesses my soul. I know it sounds cliché but it's true.

But looking into the other side, James brought me to his world, it's amazing, it's full of trying new things in my life, but the thing is what would I do if the thrill expires? what would I do if that day comes and I'm used to lived in his world and forget what's mine? what would I do?