The guardian and his last chance. Realization

XXXII

Winter came crashing down on the land. The snow turned the world white. But still work had to be done. Right now I stand at the workbench in the tool storage area. Before the snow and winter arrived, I finished the mistreated fruit garden. I worked long days to do that. And as a reward I have both got me a great pile of wood, for both smoking and woodwork. But they need to dry. On northern side of the barn I have put them. and built a fast roof over them. To hinder water and snow to soak the wood. I have not forgotten the bushes. Trimming them down, was not easy. Both the raspberry and blackberry had thorns. Both small and big. The small are like hair, penetrating the skin on deep. And for a fun fact the big thorns of the blackberry, can be used as fishing hooks. I love how it all got in the end.

Bushes and trees are pruned and cut. There is now no bloody djungel out there. The bushes are now in neat rows, with the right distance from each row. About 4 fot and 11 inches. The passageways I need to trim neatly. To not let the grass grow inside the rows. As the trees and the bushes are done for the year, so are the preaparing of the gardens. Upon the soil I put clippings of grass and leafs. I used a scythe to cut the grass in the old pastures. In a total of two acres, I have prepared for the seeds and plants. All preparations I can do, has I done. Now it is just waitin for the signs of spring to arrive. Inside the house I will presow, some plants. Giving them a headstart for the season. Like tomato, cucumber, squach and many more. I am so looking forward that. But as earlier said, I have still work to do. Thats why I am here.

The lights are bright, giving a good lighting  for my work. The sound that comes, are the rasping. The rasping of metal against stone. A whetstone, more precise. On the slow moving stone, I sharpen the cutting tools I have. Axes, loppers and secateurs. And some other tools too. I work at a steady and slow pace. Not wanting the metal to get to hot. Or the stone to dry. A few hours I work the whetstone. And when I am done, I pick a scrubstone. The scrubstone I use on the whetstone. Making it plain again. I stop the machine. When it stopped fully, I role the stone by hand. Checking so it´s good. And it is. I smile as I turn to the wall. I pick up some metal files. But as I pick up one of the saws that are in need of getting its teeths sharpened, I put all I have in my hands down. I give everything I have sharpened a look. I smile and nod. Happy of the work I have done today. With a small sigh of relief, I make the choice to end the day there and now. I closed the room behind. The air outside is a bit colder. I push open the barndoor. And are dirctly hit in the face with snow. swearing as sailor, I pick up the showel. The f*****g passage I had made this morning are no more. I can almost not see what are infront of me. But lucky enough I can see the lights from the porch lights. Still swearing I shovel my way forward. Just doing a small passage to get back to the cabin. My clothes are covered by snow, when I stepped up on the porch. Even if I don´t get cold easely, I feel cold now. But I know why. I jump. When my feet hit the porchfloor, the chock drove the snow of me. Bloody snow. I shovel it if of my porch in anger. In normal circomstances I like snow. As it is clean and cold. Becouse of the heat my kin have burning inside us, we like cold baths and snow. Making us feel alive. But I have not lived in those circomstances in a long time. A real long time. My heat have dampened and my power gotten weaker. From the centuries with no gem at my side. She is the ember to my furnace. I enter the cabin, feeling down and cold. I hang up my outer clothes. I hang them so they are haning freely. So they will dry faster. Feeling the cold more, even if it is comfortable hot inside my perfect home. I go to the bathroom. I tap up water. A slow flow I choosed, so I could make me a quick supper. The supper being leftovers from yesterday. I just put in some more veggies. I ate it hungry as soon it was hot. The hot meal started to heat me up from the inside, slowly. God damit slow. So slow. Sighing I check so I have locked the door. And that had I done. Looking forward to sink into hot water, I walk to the bath. In there I see that the water is enough. I close the tap. Even if I just want to jump in to the blissfully hot water, I have to clean myself of first. I strip out of my semi damp clothes. I sitt down on my knees. And let the shower hit my body with water and warmth. I use herbalsoap to clean myself. Clean and feeling a bit relaxed, I step in the bath. Letting the bathwater embrace me softly, I sink down slow. 

I don´t know how long I had laid there. But one thing was sure. The water are starting to cool down. If I would tell the truth, I had moaned as girl some times as I felt my body relax and heat up from the heated water. But now I have to get out of the water. Just as soon I rose up, I took a towel and dryed my hair of. After drying the rest of my body, meanwhile emptying the bath, I drapped the damp towel around my waist. It took me a second to rinse the bathtub. In just a towel I walked up the stairs, turning the lights off as I go. Up in my room, I hang the towel on the back of a chair. A set of boxers I put on. Then make the last preparations for the bed. I look forward to glide down under my cover. And so I did. As I turned off the bedside lamp, I felt my eyes close. Just like that I was out as a light.

I woke up from lights flooding the room. I growl deeply. Wanting to sleep some more. But I have not been a person that sleep in. Except when it is really cold outside. I set down my feets on the rug. Walked to the closet and put on some clothes. Knowing fully well I have to shovel some snow, I put on a thick long armed turtleneck. And some tough jeans. I walk down to the kitchen. As I make me my breakfast, I look out. The snowing must have ended some time under the night. To the sandwich I eat, I have brewed a cup of hot herbal tea. The white snow outside is so innocent. Free of all dirts. Guilts of the world. Finished eating, I walk to the hall and door. I swing my now dryed jacket on. I slip my hands in to a pair of soft gloves. Before I leave the comfy heat of the cabin, I step in to my boots. After have stepped out, I sigh. The porch has piles of snow all around. I pick up the shovel. Shoveling may be monoton work. But it is still great for letting the thoughts go. I am sweating, when I am done with the porch.  As I leave my home, I am shoveling my way. With a smile on my lips, I start to tak care of the gravel yard. f**k it has really snowed under the night. I think the snow is atleast 1 fot deep. Even if it is so deep, I work on. I build up a few small mountains of snow around the yard, as I clean it of snow. By the hour, the snow mountains grow. The sun pass noon. And I feel hot. Real hot. But the good kind, from hard and honest work. I lean on the shovel, smiling. I have cleaned the snow off. I have even mad a passage to the underground storage, so I can featch me some more apples or pears. If them I have in the cellar are no more. I walk up to the porch. The small amount of snow, scrunch under my feets. Just as I step up, to put the shovel near the door, I get a eerie feeling. I feel it in to my bones. I put down the shovel. Slow I open the door, and streatch my arm after my axe. As I have it placed just inside to the right. My fingers shut around its handle. With the axe in hand, I turn around. Slowly I walk, my senses on high alert. Before I head out, I walk in to the barn. And grab a boundle of rope. Why? Just a gut feeling I have a need of it.