The guardian and his last chance. Realization

XVI

The evning is still young. Still has not the sun disappeared down behind the forest. I sit in one of the wooden chairs, that Jacob had left here. On the matching table are two empty bottles of beer. I sigh in content and lean back. As I am sitting in the chair, I conclude that I need to build som furniture that will fit me perfect. Slowly I streatch down my hand to grip a new bottle. I break it open with my knife. With the cold beverage in my hand, I smile.

Around a week ago I confronted Jacob. That I can´t live under their roof until the so called homestead is rebuild. I need to be at my new home. Told the truth I did. Even if it is not functioning as a living place yet, I need to be at my new home. As much adamant as me on the topic to leave to camp on my property, his wife was on that I should stay at their place untill the hous can be used again. She was furious at me that I even thought of leaving and live under the sky. But I would not let my mind be changed. And so were she. Not even her mate could put down the fire of her fury. Just remembering that heated day, make me crinch. But we, Jacob and I, compromised with her. The pact that was the compromise, was that I live on my property. And Mirai and Jacob will deliver food and drinks to me daily.  For all sake, it was a great deal. One thing I declined to, was the tent that Jacob wanted me to borrow. So the first evening living on my farm, MINE, i build a shelter of scrap wood and tile that was good. It is comfortable. For now atleast. 

I take one sip of the beer. My gaze are at the house. In two weeks we have almost ripped it appart. Most of the times it is I, Jacob, Jackson and Eric working on it. Some others of the pack have taged along a few times. Those times it took a bit longer to work, as I had to act fully on my role being a human. But once more I don´t care, time is one thing I have. The bottom floor are almost finished for rebuilding. Almost all of the kitchen we throwed on the fire. One thing I saved from getting destroyed, the counter top. It was a exspensive piece of green marble. It is in the barn together wit the rest of the material we saved. I was chocked to see so much of the beamwork of the porch to be in good shape. One more sip. I thinks about one thing that Jacob told me, before he drove home for the day. "Many of the pack wants to get to know you." I flinched at his words. "You have been gifted with our pack´s founder´s homestead." That was knews to me. "And I and their Betas have come to be close to you." He looked a bit pained by this. "So of course they want to get to know you and welcome you to our small town."

In my mind, I knew that this would soon be possible. Wolfs are social creatures. If their leaders have befriended a stranger in just a few days, a stranger that arrived to town with the pelts of four wolfs on his back. One stranger that they don´t know anything about. At least not much more than that he may be a threat to their lifes and family. At all of that, I have no good thought. I really don´t know what to feel or think about the news the young alpha gave me. With my brow frowned by my confliction, I put the flask to my lips. I tilt my head and empty the rest of the drink.

"I will think about this later." I say aloud. And sigh frustrated. "Shall we start to work on the plots for my herbs and vegetables."

I rise up. Fast I put away the bottles. In one bag, with other bottles I put them. I take a deep breath as I streatch my body. Many would have aching and sore muscles from all of this hard work I have done in two weeks time. But not me. Why? Becouse of who and what I am. I am a gaurdian, a warrior. In my veins are the greatest and oldest blood flowing strong and hard. My steps are long as I walk to the barn. More rightly to the tool storage, that are in a small room right inside the big barndoors, to the right. My eyes adjusts to the dim light. I look thru the tools for spades and forks. Tools I will need to throw the wolfs off, away from the truth. And once again I am a bit chocked. One of the spades and the forks are in good condition. I put them on my shoulder. I closed the barndoor behind me. Not wanting to let the damp evening air to flow freely inside my temporary lumber storage. I walk behind the house, where the plots are. Since my first visit here, to just look at the place humoring Jacob, I have not been to the plots. Now even in the fading light, I take my time to look more at these plots. They are on a greater surface than I thought. The patches were once  devided by strips of neatly cut grass. The strips two feet wide. Just enough to walk opun it. With or without a wheelbarrow. I smile, as I sniff the air.

"Good." I chuckle for myself. I can´t sense, smell or hear anyone near here. That is really good. Becouse I want to finish this work fast. In one smooth movement, I pin the tools in the ground. I hurry to get out of my clothes. Not wanting to destroy them. On the grass by the spade. I step forward. Each step I take, the fire burns clearer and hotter in my chest. My skin crack and burns. I feel how my bones shift and elongates. For most it hurts a bit. But for me it doesn´t. Becouse I am shifting to my true form. My humanform is just a way to live. My sun darkened skin, turn to a dark golden tone. The nails turn to be claws. Claws that are made to slice hide and scale. My shoulder blades separate to give way for the wings of mine. Softly I go down on all fours. My paws hit ground softly and silent. It was a long time ago since I shifted last. I can´t even say how long ago it was, so long has it been. And that say much. Becouse I am almost a millenia old. I stretch out. My claws sink in to the ground. If a metaphore is needed, it would be like a hot knife thru butter. I bend my long neck and look up to the sky. I drag a deep sniff of the air, letting all scents and smells be swallowed by all receptors in my snout and the back of my tongue. And I can´t smell any intruders in the area. I licked my teeth. They are a predators leathal weapones. The canines are at least a foot long.

I let out a huff, the air fuming from my breath. Still checking the area, as I will continue to do, I start to till the earth. Using my swordlike claws as ploughshares. I slice the skin of grass, and turn it around. Over and over again I do this. Soon night has fallen around me. But in my sight it was still as light as day. I stand up on my hindlegs. My arms hanging, I balance with my tail. I smell the air once more, nothing. I am still not ready to show me once more to the world. The loss of my kin, are still hurting. And my kin has been thrown in to the myths. A greater one than even vampires and werewolfs. All we stood for has been forgotten. And I believe the world is not ready to meet their world´s gaurdians again, at least the last one. I am sad for that. "Mother." I say sorrowful. "I don´t know what to do?"

Once again no answer. My kin has not heard her voice since, she gave our bloodline the power to get a gemstone, mate or whater you call it. And with it the power to breed. Even I fear to be found. Becouse I have a feeling that most will hunt me, wanting to kill me. It will just lead to countless of deaths. Both human and non-human. That is why I have not shifted in centuries. Becouse there is not much that can hide a reptil with dark golden scales. I start to shift. And my true fom is around 18 feet high. From nose to the tip of my tail 23 fot. I go to my clothes. I sigh when I put them on. A sigh for each cloth. I want to use my wings, want to feel the air against my body. To streatch out my wings to their ful lenght. My wingspan almost 30 fot.

Even if I am sad, sorrowful, hateful and filled with regrets, I am happy right now. I have a life here now. The allmother may not answer me, but I hope that I will find peace. And I thank her for this chance.