The guardian and his last chance. Realization

II

My chest heaved. The adrenaline and ruch from battle, started to dwindle. As I felt secure, I let my skin reform. The air was thick by the sweet irony smell of blood. The wolfs are lying dead, around my makeshift camp. No sorrow, I feel about taking their life. They were indeed after mine, so why should I care for theirs. I take of my jacket. A frown ar formed on my face as I see that it is torn here and there from claws. I give my rucksack a glance, but I knew without looking. That I am in great need of some supplies. Like thread, herb, cloth, soap and some other things. Most herbs I can find in meadows and forests. My frownd deepens, as the feeling of anger rise in my chest. I felt helpless, so helpless. Why, because I am broke. No money at all. And I have nothing of value either. If I come upon a town, I can find some daywork. People of my physics, can always find some work. I closed my eyes. Slowly I filled my lungs with deep breaths.  When the flames of anger had died out, I open my eyes once more. And infront of me is the answer to my plied. It is scattered around. So what is it?

Yea, it is four fine and fresh wolf pelts. They can give me some money. This I am aware of, because I have traded pelts, furs and hides before. Maybe not this kind of wolf skin. Absolutly not this kind. My torso feels sticky and wet. My shirt is drenched in blood. Disgusted by it, I took it off and threw it on the fire. I had some spares in the pack. In one swift move i pulled the knife, that hangs in my belt. Its edge is razor sharp.

"Let´s do this bloody work!" I said with a neautral tone.

Without any expression I started to do the hard work of skinning the wolf bodies. But I have long experience doing this, so I was done fast. I walked over to the little stream, beside my campside with the skins. In the slow streaming, cold water I washed both myself and the skins. After I was done, I walked back to the fire. And made fast built stretchers for the skins. But I knew I had to abandon those when I start my walk tomorrow. I looked at the skinned bodies. Maybe I can take some of the meat “We eat what we kill, my son. We don´t hunt for sports!” my father said in my head. I shake my head. I threw the bodies out in the forest. No wolf meat on the menu this time. Like it was not the first time I ate nonhuman flesh. Last time I did, I had to fight in my full best form. The fight was for my kin. In that fight, I fought with all my might. But still it was not enough.

With a sigh I opened my rucksack. I took out a new shirt. Just then sitting on my knees, I saw my jacket. I would need to wash it. So, I did. I hung it by the fire. Knowing it will be dry by morning. And once more I lay down to sleep. Still I can catch some hours of sleep before dawn come, with the rising sun.

Dawn came too fast for my liking. But what the heck. I rose up, stretching my arms and back. A groan slipped out of my mouth. My hope this day that I can find a village or small city. The embers glowing faintly at my eyes. I had nothing to put out the fire with. I would had liked that it died out under the night. But there was one thing I could do. And that I did. The glowing embers hissed as I piss on it. For breakfast I look around for edible veggies and herbs. I found just a little bit. And that would not fill my stomach. If I don´t find a city, I will need to hunt. It is not like there is any prey near. In this forest there is deer, boar and many more wild game. The meat will fill my stomach enough. Just enough to stop me from starving.

With a frustrated sigh, I packed the few things I had around the fire. With some string I bundle the pelts together. After checking that the embers are out for good, I swung on my jacket. Then put my rucksack on my back. I used my axe as a makeshift hiking stick. Everyday I always shrug at my rucksack that is the biggest on the market. Seventy liters capacity. But on my big build it was like a small backpack. I know it is hard to find anything that fit me perfectly in this world.

After one last check on the campsite, I started my journey again. Step by step, I walked beside the stream. Birds chirping in the trees. Sometimes I could see and sense game running away. The truth to be told I like this tranquility and stillness. What should I really say? I don´t have a modern personality. No cars, no airplanes and so on. I´m most happy with my feet sturdy on solid ground, with fresh air in my nose and lungs. I want to feel the brownish black soil of my gardens and fields under my nails and on my skin when i return home. This is an old-fashioned way of thinking, but I am old. Maybe as old as the redwood I slept by. Who knows?The sun made its way over the sky. And the small stream have grown bigger as I walked. I make the choice to leave the streaming waters behind. The forest open up. And giv way for a glade like meadow. And past midday I step upon a road, a modern road. I looked at both directions. Which way should I go? As I stood there thinking hard, a car came rushing by, close by me. Real close. I didn´t hear it come, so I took a step back startled. Putting my foot and weight on a rock. The f*****g stone was loose. So I crashed backwards in to the ditch. I hit my head on the same bloody stone. As I was swearing loudly, I sat up. My left hand massaged my back head. The fingers got wet by blood. As soon as I rose up again, the cut had healed. Once more I walk up to the road. I swore some more. And I told myself if I meet that driver, I will make him feel alive.

Frustrated I shook my head. And I started to walk in the same direction the car disappeared to. It is a chance, that some community are that way. Let the mother guide my step.