Cracked Walls
1210 Words
“So does that mean my apology is accepted?”
“Maybe, maybe it is.”
“Ok then, that works perfectly,” Lucian replied.
He shot her a glance and she held it. The pull between them undeniable.
She didn’t know why she did it, but it felt safe staring into his eyes, in his presence she felt like she could forget, even for a few precious seconds.
But the moment soured when he asked; “When will you be telling us about what happened?”
“About what?” She asked, the dread already settling in her gut.
“About your life, before you crossed the border.”
“I— I don’t know…”
“You’re avoiding the question. You need to tell us, The sooner you do, the better. That way we can protect the pack, and you too.”
Lucian’s voice wasn’t cold — but it wasn’t soft either. It hovered somewhere in the middle, caught between concern and frustration because she didn’t reply.
He had been asking for six days now and admittedly, his patience was running thin.
Amara sat, frozen in place, she couldn’t respond.
He stepped closer. “I thought we were finally getting somewhere, Amara.”
“I’m trying my best.” Her voice cracked slightly. “I really am, but it’s just too much, I—I can’t think back to what happened, I can’t share that with everyone.”
“Then why won’t you tell me?”
She turned around, slowly. “Because I can’t.”
Lucian’s brow furrowed. “Can’t, or won’t? I’m your mate, you should be able to tell me everything.”
She exhaled in shaky breaths, brushing her hair back from her face. “It’s the same thing.”
“No, it’s not,” he pushed. “One means you’re protecting something. The other means you’re protecting yourself from me. All I’m trying to do is protect you.”
That one struck something in her.
“You crossed that border nearly dead. You were being hunted. At least from what you told us, and even if we didn't see anything ourselves, we believe you. But we need more information so we can make sure it stays beyond the border.
Even your wolf still hasn’t come out of hiding since you woke up. So forgive me when I say, I’m not asking for your whole story — I’m just asking to try.”
Amara’s eyes welled. “You think I don’t want to tell you?”
Lucian stepped back slightly, caught off guard by the sudden shift in her tone.
“I replay it every time I close my eyes,” she whispered. “The fire. The screams. The thing that followed me. I can still smell the blood in the smoke, feel the ash in my palms. I’ve lost everyone I ever loved. And now you want me to just… explain that to you like it’s some bedtime story?”
“I didn’t mean—”
She shook her head, the tears finally slipping down her cheeks. “I’m not protecting secrets, Lucian. I’m trying my best not to let them break me before I'm of any help.”
For a long moment, there was only silence. Stretched in the heated space between them.
Then she collapsed against the table, sobbing into her palms. Her body slid down until she was curled up on the floor, shaking.
Lucian stood there rooted, unsure of the right thing to do before something far more important moved him.
He didn’t speak. He didn’t ask again. He knelt beside her and pulled her gently into his arms.
She clung to him like she was drowning, and his arms wrapped around her in quiet promise, feelings of protection stirring within him.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was still this… raw,” he whispered.
She tried to reply, but couldn't. The sheer pressure of the sadness causing her words to come out choked. Lucian tightened his hold, grounding her.
“I can’t tell you now… but in time, I will.” She said finally.
He nodded. “I’ll wait.”
Seated there, minutes passed and neither uttered a word. Amara stayed where she was, tucked under the shelter of his arms, until the shivers dulled into slow breaths.
Lucian shifted to glance at her. “Are you hungry?”
She blinked “Didn’t we just have breakfast?”
“We did? Oh, we actually did. Must’ve slipped my mind," He chuckled.
She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of his tunic. “I think I've had enough food for one morning.”
“No, crying builds… uhm… appetite. You have to put something down at least. I'll cook.”
She jabbed him weakly “You’re the worst.”
“You haven't even tasted my food yet,” He smiled.
“Mhmm, not yet… I'll think about it.”
She made no move to get up as Lucian brushed her hair from her face, his fingers surprisingly gentle. “Take your time. You scared me when you said you couldn’t talk. I thought it meant we had to sit around until whatever came for you made a move.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
She didn’t answer. But her fingers gripped his shirt tightly.
“Are you going to sit here all day?” he asked softly.
Amara groaned, burying her face in his chest. “Why are you like this?”
“It’s how I flirt.”
“You’re terrible at it.”
“And yet, here we are.”
Eventually, she pulled back, just enough to meet his eyes. “You're not as cold as I thought.”
“Oh really? That has to be a compliment.” He grinned before continuing “You're stronger than I thought. Well… emotionally at least."
They both shared a laugh then for a bit then Lucian nodded slowly. “Alright, I'll have to be on my way soon. Alpha duties. Permit me to escort you to your quarters.”
“Mhmm, already? I haven't even eaten my fill yet.” She teased as she plucked a grape from the table.
“So now you want to eat, not happening.” he stood. Dusting his robes.
She smiled, then let him help her up. His hand lingered around her waist longer than necessary, her eyes locked and pressed against him, close enough to feel the bristles of the hair on his body before he let her go.
Once on her feet, she finally breathed in deeply. Her chest still hurt, but it wasn’t crushing anymore.
He turned toward her room, pointing at the window. “Take the day. Rest… if you do, I’ll send as much food as you can eat.”
She walked, returning as she came before she called; “Lucian,”
He turned back.
“I really appreciate this, especially understanding me.”
He nodded once, then let her return without a word.
She walked back, on her own, but she still felt watched, seen. Like he would burst in should she call.
When the door to her room clicked shut behind him, Amara stood in the quiet, her heart still unsteady but a little less alone.
- Writer
