Keepers of the Moon

Chapter 15. Who am I? (4)

He stepped closer to me and with his gun he slowly pulled away the blouse to reveal my collarbone. The round scar felt like it was burning on my skin. I held my breath and dug my nails into the armrest. This was the scar that we all shared, it was the confirmation of my past. I could no longer deny who I was.

I looked at Einar, at the gun in his hand.

He was so close!

Terror and hatred surged through me, shattering my bones and drowning my mind. I could get to him now. The fear was no longer stronger. If I ended it right here, right now, he would never be able to hurt anyone else again. If one of us survived, she would be safe. I could take revenge, right here at this moment, for Ben, for Mo Bhean, for Mere, for Sean. For all of us.

'Now this… is a surprise.’

The hatred exploded and shattered me into a thousand pieces.

Through a haze of anger I grabbed the gun and twisted it out of his hand and kicked against his knee with all the strength I could gather. It bended backwards for just a second. And I revelled in his pain-twisted face. Before either Einar could recover or Tane could react I was already on my feet, putting distance between both men and me. Tane’s face was grim, his eyes had hardened. A feeling of unease and confusion swept over me. I almost forgot what I was doing, but my burning hatred drowned out all else and soon I was facing them, with the gun pointed at Einar’s head.

My heartbeat slowed down, my breathing calmed. The world was clearer now that I for once had the power. I looked into Einar’s eyes, he knew what I was about to do. He knew that I meant it. I didn’t smile, but I did feel relief when I pulled the trigger. I felt the recoil of the gun in my hands and saw the casing of the bullets fall to the ground. The bang was barely registered by my ears, though smoke trailed up. But it wasn’t Einar who caught the bullet. As in slow motion I saw Tane react and step in front of his King. The bullet pierced his shoulder, just above where his heart was supposed to be. Assuming he had one. His face was now twisted into a grimace as blood spread out from under his shirt. He darted toward me and before I could fire again, he was on top of me.

The blow knocked the wind from my lungs and I landed on my back. With an agonising scream I tried to get away from him, but he slammed his fist into my wounded shoulder. The shock of pain bolted through my body and I had to let go of the gun. With a strange metallic thud it hit the ground. Tane kicked it away from me with one of his legs and then rolled off me, while twisting his hands into my blouse. With a strength that wasn’t human he pulled me up. For just once second my feet were dangling in the air before they slammed back down onto the smooth marbled floor. I tried to twist from his grasp and freed my elbow so that I could punch him in the gut. Tane however was prepared for my poorly thought out move and twisted my arm on my back. My shoulder screamed in anguish and I screamed with it. Though it wasn’t a scream of pain, it was a scream of frustration.

Of failure.

I had him.

I had Einar right where I wanted.

And I failed.

‘TANE, LET HER GO!’

Suddenly his arms were gone and I was shoved forward. Einar’s booming voice still ricocheted inside my head as I tried to regain my balance. The floor was slippery with Tane’s blood, but somehow I managed to keep standing. I looked up, straight into Einar’s eyes. Then I was drowning in utter cold, black darkness as he swallowed every last piece of courage that still resided in my body. He had picked up the gun, weighed it in his hands. Contemplated his choices.

‘You know? I wasn’t sure what to think of you when I first saw you. After everything my son told me about you, it was all quite underwhelming when you walked in. But now? I see what my son sees in you, you’re not afraid to step up. You are brave and reckless. Everything my soft son is not. I wish we could spend more time together, my love. But I am afraid that this is the end for you. May you find peace.’

I didn’t hear the shot, nor did it see it coming. I just felt the strength flow from my limbs as my heart exploded. The world fell into darkness and sounds drowned out.

I fell into a familiar slumber as my body hit the ground. There was no pain, there was no sorrow. I was just… there.

Floating.

Floating in the fleeting passage of time.

I heard a song.

A wordless melody.

And I was home.