Keepers of the Moon

Chapter 11. Water (5)

Saoirse

The world of slumber is a curious place, where dreams and memories seem to collide. Where everything is good and quiet, yet the unrelenting dread of the world outside is constantly trying to break in. The sounds too harsh and the colours too bright, mixed with the softness of dreams.

My heart was aching, beating with a steady but painful drum. The high-pitched voice of a fiddle found its way to my ears. The song familiar but not right. It was mixing with the drums of home and the voice of the one who never left my mind.

I was tired. More tired than I’d ever been before. Even my weakness during the Fearful Nine was nothing compared to this. I couldn’t lift my arms, I couldn’t escape the pull of slumber. Sleep stuck to me relentlessly and I couldn’t escape. I had to relive my worst nightmare time after time. I could only see his aging face, the grey hair and the tired eyes. I could only feel his withering hand in mine and the time beating on him like a never ending drum. I could hear his heartbeat slowing down.

Until nothing remained.

Just the drum of my own heart and the unwelcoming sound of a fiddle.

Suddenly the music stopped and muffled voices replaced it. They sounded familiar, yet no words could be discerned. It was as if they were in another room, but they weren’t, I was. I was still stuck in this world between waking and sleep.

I tried to get out, tried to wake up and tell them I was okay.

Because even though I couldn’t understand what they were saying, I could still feel their sorrow, their grief and their fear. I wanted to take that away from them.

But the room went silent and then I was alone.

Utterly alone.

The image of Manaia at the party floated through my mind. It didn’t make sense, he shouldn’t be here. He couldn’t be here, I buried him. Time had taken him away from me and never let me join him into the Beyond. But still, he was here I’d seen him. I had danced with him. My head wasn’t playing me, not this time.

How?

The mix of fear and grief was overwhelming. Because no matter how I looked at it, joy wasn’t an emotion that I felt. He had felt cold and distant. Almost like a passing ghost or an evil reminder of my past. As if I was meant to feel alone. As if it was necessary for me to go through my grief all over again. Yet this feeling could still not convince me that this wasn’t Manaia. It wás him, tattoos, birthmark and crooked smile and all. He had returned to me.

Why?

All questions, no answers. Just time passing slowly in my world of slumber.

I didn’t know how long it took to come back. I couldn’t recall the sharpness of the sounds returning or the bright sunlight pouring through the window. I just knew that at some point I was awake, but still not able to move. I was staring at the white cracked ceiling, with wilting paint and slings of dust. There were no voices in the hallway, only the irregular beep-beep-beep of a heart monitor kept me company.

Now that I was no longer held captive by my own mind, I could feel the pain in my limbs and smelled the metallic smell of blood. I couldn’t recall getting hurt, but I knew that I was. It felt like I was thrown of the Gaeilaí tower only to be caught by an enormous wave that crashed me into the cliffs below Cuillin. I couldn’t even remember getting back to my room last night, I was just drowning in Mana’s eyes.

After a while the door softly opened and someone came in. I strained my neck to see who it was, but he was standing just beyond my line of sight. A clamming cold washed over me, while every vein in my body instantly seemed to freeze. I gasped for breath and I heard the monitor beeping in panic. I was overwhelmed by pain and a sudden grief that tore at my insides.

A face came drifting into sight, a crooked smile and crazy, dark eyes.

Mana.

‘We had fun last night.’ His voice was wrong, though it sounded like coming home. My heart ached, my body yearned. A voice inside my head was screaming to get out. My voice failed.

‘After all this time, I found you. I knew you had to be here somewhere, I’d never thought to run into you this easily.’ His smile widened.

Something was wrong with Mana. He didn’t sound like him, the coldness in his voice didn’t belong.

‘I’d never thought you’d be this weak.’

What had happened? Why couldn’t I move? Why was my Mana saying this?

‘Now your reign will end. You have failed and I will fulfil my purpose. The purpose that you abandoned. You lost your world, you have left the people you’ve sworn to protect. Now everything is falling apart and you do nothing… You squabble with a King unfit to rule, you hide behind your high walls and do nothing to protect the world. Not anymore, I will take over and there’ll be nothing left of you when he’s done with you. This is the end.’

Mana stepped closer, his words not making sense. I couldn’t understand what was happening, why he sounded so menacing. All through my confusion was the never ending surging pain in my limbs and the throbbing of my heart until a world of black remained.

All was gone.

But Mana was here.