#6 — THE DOUBT
2222 Words
—Present—
She rubbed her palm again and again but it was a permanent marker. She had to use some soap and brush it roughly to get it off.
“What the hell was that?” She asked herself again and again splashing cold water on her face, hoping it would wash away that memory. “I would never see him again. This ends here.” She kept telling herself afraid what this weird sensation would lead her.
***
Hardly after a week passed and Myra started to get her mind off the previous mission. She wanted a few more days of rest and emotional freedom now but here was a knock on the door. “Yes?”
Shermon peeked inside. “Tonight at 9 Jerry is going to be online. We have an emergency.” And left.
“Yeah. ‘Emergency’. We haven’t been off for even a week but still. Let’s see what it is.” She shook her head to brush off Shahmeer's thoughts, his words, those coal black eyes but every time she closed her eyes, his memory kept playing in front of her mind.
***
“Good evening everyone.” She slumped on the brown couch in the living room beside Bryan and Rose. Opening a can of chilled beer, she started drinking.
“Myra, I think you should be sober. You have to grasp a lot of information now.” Nisha said.
“Trust me dear. Alcohol keeps me sober. I’ll be unfocused if I ‘don’t’ drink.”
“What do you think this is about?” Rose asked looking at others.
“Oh I think it’s the kids throwing stones at his home’s glass windows!” Bryan said dramatically, taking some fries from the table, staring at the open laptop and heard a loud chuckle from Yuka and Ronn.
“Is it nine yet?” Yousuf asked, irritated , placing his arm over the edge of the couch.
“Yeah almost.” Myra said looking at her phone.
“Hello everyone,” Jerry spoke through the screen. His frail, wrinkled face, with salt and pepper hair and moustache looked scarier when he was tensed.
“Sir is it really you?” Yousuf asked. Never before did he interact with them directly. It was always their seniors assigning them their missions. He was strictly under cover and never exposed himself. It was either phone calls, or audio messages.
“I had to talk directly to you people. It’s not specifically your Zone but the whole globe. There had been other squads managing this but I didn’t see any output so now I’ve turned to my most reliable one. There is something seriously wrong going on.”
“There always is. What’s new? Oh I mean specific.” Myra asked impatiently not wanting anymore round the topic talks.
“There are some instances, now people may say it’s a coincidence but after you have been a part of this long enough, you stop believing in coincidences. Slowly but progressively all the warlords, suppliers, manufacturers are disappearing. They are either killed, disappeared, bankrupt or stopped working. It must be the rogue organisation, ‘Dark Nation’.”
“How is that a bad thing?” Bryan asked with a laugh. “Does it make you insecure that someone else is doing ‘our’ work?”
“It is a bad thing, Agent. Warlords are the buffers that prevent mass destruction. They provide the armies and other sources of violence low key weapons which work specifically for enemy folks. They keep destruction at a limit. If there are no guns and grenades, what do you think will happen? Will the world forget wars and become a happy place? No! The countries will be panicked for security. They will feel vulnerable and defenceless and, in this state, they will desperately turn to nuclear weapons or bioweapons for their safety. And as you know, a nuclear war or a bio-war marks its start with corpses of innocents. We have to sustain this evil to prevent a greater evil.” Jerry explained. “I know this sounds irrational but we have to keep them going. Some governments have already turned to the illegitimate, unlawful suppliers because the legal ones are wiped out. Only a few more remain. YOU ARE HEREBY ASSIGNED THE MISSION OF ‘DEFENDING’ THE ONES THAT REMAIN UNTIL WE FIND THE ORGANISATION BEHIND THIS AND END THE KILLING SPREE. I have other members working on it. And Agent Rose Fausche, you will be working with Team B-9 under the command of Agent Ronita on this mission. See you in Norilsk asap.” And the call disconnected.
“Damn! Team B-9 is a bunch of jealous, stupid assholes! They don’t know teamwork like us.” Rose snapped angrily, kicking the table.
“And isn’t that exactly why they want you there Rose? One sensible person versus six jealous, stupid assholes.” Bryan said excitedly, picturing and hand gestures. “But we’ll miss you.” He sobered up quickly receiving all the glares.
“Oh come on! We are a family. How can they expect me to forget this and throw me somewhere else? This is so unfair.” She slumped down again.
Myra placed a hand on her cheek and said, “We know Rose. It’s temporary. And it won’t be easy for us too but you know, Jerry is a wise person when it comes to taking such decisions. And the sooner you find the killer, the faster you come back to us. Okay?” Myra could be very caring and understanding when it came to her team. They hugged each other and the rest of the team joined them from both sides except Yousuf who just smiled in his place.
“Yes. Now let’s have dinner. I’ve made an amazing desert.” Nisha interrupted the sentimental moment.
“We’ll miss you and you’ll be back soon.” Shermon said.
“Rose are you sure we can’t exchange you for this buy-one-get-one-free package?” Bryan asked, pointing a finger at Yuka and Ronn, earning a glare from Shermon.
“Hell no!” they both said in unison.
“They only look little. Just hear their high pitched scream.” Bryan said, scratching his ear.
***
“Stop staring like that Rose.” Myra spoke in annoyance leaning back on the bed.
“This is crazy. I’m standing in the M-cave?” Rose said excited. They all called Myra’s room the M-cave because most of the things were branded with a special font ‘M’ including the flute, that she used to play ages ago, diaries, headboard, clothes, shoes, laptop, PC almost everything – like a personal brand and no one was allowed in. A few years ago, she didn't have any attraction for these materialism But tastes change, just like people do.
“You know, just forget about B-9 and look at the brighter side. You get to go back to Norilsk once again. Your hometown. Isn’t that great?” Myra said while Rose slumped on the bed beside her.
“Probably.” She said, her voice emotionless, her eyes staring at the ceiling and her hands playing with her hairs.
“Come on Rose. This is what we are paid for, in millions. We own homes, properties, all those lavish cars, bank accounts, everything.”
“At what cost Myra? We have ‘residence’ everywhere; None of them is ‘Home’. We have passports of like… 29 countries, visited each one of them but belong to none. We are strictly prohibited to meet any inch of our family that remains.”
Rose’s words made her recall Jerry’s words the day she was taken in.
“Okay then. Your training starts tomorrow. If you survive it, you’re in, and if you don’t, you’re dead. There is no other way. After that you will never contact your family whatsoever. Your unit will be your only family. You will travel extravagantly but can’t settle anywhere. You will stay from everything that weakens a human like love, religion, marriage and attachments outside your team. Not that they are ‘banned’ or ‘f*******n’ but it definitely affects your perspectives and priorities. Don’t let this venom consume you. Be very careful with your details and the multiple identities while handling phones, laptops or CCTVs.
If you do anything that is outlawed like cheating UDF, giving away about yourself too much on social media, going against your team, contacting your family etc., we can no longer trust you and that’s the end of it.”
The sharp threat in his words was clearly echoing in her head till this day.
She smiled and turned to Rose, “Rose nobody forced us. We made this choice. Now we have to accept the pros and cons. And you talk about family… family are the people who stand by you in the worst of times unwavering about the consequences, no matter blood related or not. And we were there, for each other.”
“Yeah of course. I never doubted that Myra. I love you all.” She assured.
“Okay now tell me what are your plans for the future?” Myra asked distracting her from the dull topic.
“I have just one dream, to launch a shooting academy, which will give my country the best shooters, who will win all the Olympic medals in the world and bring them to Russia. That’s the least I can do.” Rose said with a glint of her dream in her eyes. It wasn’t just a dream for her. It was a desire, a vision she carried like burning fire in her.
“Wow. You never talked about it.” Myra asked, impressed.
“Yeah but I always wanted it. I’ve been saving money, talking to brokers, and seeing lands for over eight months.” Rose replied.
Myra embraced her and said, “I wish you all the success. I won’t say pray because you know I don’t ‘pray’ right.”
“Myra I know how much you hate sharing your bed but still thanks for this sleepover. You did it for me, it means a lot.”
“Anything for my family honey.” Myra replied with a smile.
“Hey Myra you never told me or maybe I never asked, what made you take this decision at such a young age? I mean uptil a few years ago you were so quiet and a no-nonsense type that we people were quite intimidated to talk to you.”
Myra reminisces that horrible day, standing in the church, in blood-soaked clothes, in front of God. But for her, it was nothing but a s******c statue that takes pleasure in people’s plight, an illusion.
‘I challenge you! I challenge you to throw at me all you can. I challenge you to keep me alive. You knew how much he meant to me. You knew how much I loved him. You knew how hard lifting his coffin would be. Still you did this? He died… SAVING me? How will I live with myself knowing, thinking ‘If not for me, he would be alive.’ I never complained over anything to you but this… this is unacceptable. I won’t accept it just like that. I won’t give up without a fight. I know I can’t bring him back but that is not the end of it. He SAVED me? No. he left me alone, to die every day, slowly and painfully, tormented with guilt. I’ll show him how wrong he was in doing that. From this day onwards, My only reason for living will be – to go back to him. To unite with him. I will go out and face death every day, every minute, every second of my life. Do everything that kills a person, slowly or instantly. And if you… TRULY EXIST, prove it. Prove it by failing me, by keeping me alive. By stopping me from uniting with him. The challenge begins now… I’ll show you failure… because keeping me alive won’t be easy from now on.’
“Dear I prefer not talking about it now.” Myra said facing the other side and closed her eyes tightly when they heard a knock.
"Who's it now?" Rose asked.
"I'll see." Myra opened the door to see Ron and Yuka standing there with a pleading, smiling face.
Oh no! This is never good. She sighed.
"Hello Mye."
"Ron? Yuka? Now?"
"Umm... actually we needed some help." They completed half sentence each, as usual.
"Anything other than volunteering your chemicals."
"Why?" They whined. "We'll put your name on the research file. Volunteers...
1. Rhesus monkey
2. Capuchin monkey
3. Myra Grey."
She scratched her forehead a little.
They don't realize when they're being insulting.
"I've some work now. You can ask Nisha. She'll never say no." She said in a pleasant way, not her usual stern self.
They nodded and left for knocking Nisha's door.
Myra slumped back on the bed and all of a sudden Rose asked lost in thoughts, "Myra… has it ever happened to you that you saw a man and the whole world stopped?"
Myra went silent. She didn't want to answer that.
- Writer
