Bound To You

Chapter 7

Jess remembered that last year, he invited Nielson out to eat. He didn’t intend to do anything else, just hoping Nielson could stay with him for an hour and act as normal lovers.

Nielson didn’t turn up, so he called to ask and Nielson casually told him, “I accidentally forgot. My bad, let’s meet on another day.”

“Today’s my birthday…”

“I’ll make up for your gift. Why are you still acting like a kid at this age, caring so much about birthdays?”

That’s right, no one cares about his birthday, so he shouldn’t be concerned over it too. Otherwise, he is just being difficult.

But Jake is different. Not only did he not smile, he even looked sorry. “Today’s your birthday? Sor…”

He hadn’t finish speaking before he was stopped by a smiling Jess. “Ah, ah, today’s my big day. I don’t want to hear your apology, I just want to hear your wishes.”

A smile surfaced on Jake's face. “What gift do you want?”

He used to date women and often sent them perfumes, jewelries, and beautiful clothing which are the season’s new style and had to be expensive.

You are the birthday gift I bought for myself. It’s the first time in my life that I’m spending so much on my birthday. Jess can't really say it out loud, instead he looked at Jake and shook his head. Looking down at the cake he's eating, he commented, “The butter is a little too much.”

Jake understood at that very moment why he was bewitched by Jess—he was just like him, lonely and needing company. After his mother passed away, his father was busy with his work. Even though his father wouldn’t forget his birthday, he was never able to return to celebrate with him. His father would just make up for it by giving him a sum of money to spend on any gift he wanted. When he was younger, there was nothing more important than birthdays. With increasing disappointment, he stopped expecting that he could be praised for being a “good boy”.

He said, “Then from now on, I’ll call you sweetheart.”

Just when Jess raised his head, a kiss gently landed on his lips. He noticed Jake's slightly heated gaze as the younger man said, “Sweetheart, happy birthday.”

Jess face turned red, thinking that Jake's acting skill is quite good.

As night fell, before they realised, the treetops had been covered in fine snow.

Jess stood by the French window in the warm room, looking ahead. It’s such a cold winter day today.

The doorbell rang.

Jake went to open the door then returned to Jess side after a while, holding a box of roses.

Jess teased him while rolling his eyes, “So old-fashioned.” But it was also his first time receiving such an old-fashioned gift.

He thought about himself and spoiled the mood. “I never understand why people like giving flowers when the flowers will eventually wither. Giving them to others and meticulously caring for them, then watch with your own eyes as they rot and get thrown into the dustbin.”

Jake passed the box to Jess, explaining, “These won’t wither. They are permanent flowers.”

Jess took a look and realised Jake was right. How awkward.

Jake chuckled, bend a little and kissed him on the lips. “Sometimes, your mouth is really mean.”

“I like sleeping with you but I don’t like to be kissed by you. Next time, without my consent, you’re not allowed to kiss me.”

After saying that, Jess walked off with a heavy heart.

Eh.

Jake sighed. He had never met such a strange person.

When you think he is lewd, he will start restraining himself; when you think he is affectionate, he will become distant; when you think he is being frank, he will run away immediately.

Neither friendly or aloof, and very hard to understand.

Jake was a committed and stubborn person. When he was still in school, he could spend weeks just trying to solve a difficult question. When he was working, he could stay up for how many hours to work on a project just to finish it. Now, he was very interested in Jess and wanted to find out more about this person.

Jake caught up with Jess and acted pitiful. “I only wanted you to praise me. Since you told me not to kiss you, I will try to hold back next time. I just find you cute and can’t stop myself.”

Embarrassed, Jess face turned red. How is he still at an age where he can be called cute? He glared at Jake, saying, “Today’s my 29th birthday!”

Jake was surprised seriously surprised. “I thought you’re at most twenty-five or twenty-six years old.”

“How old are you this year?” Jess questioned.

Jake pondered and hesitantly said, “Twenty-seven…”

Jess was more surprised than him. He’s already this old? He chose a young boy! Jese felt cheated and was quite angry. His expression changed. “What did you say? Twenty what? Twenty-one or twenty-seven? I told the person I wanted a young boy!”

Jake was dumbfounded and started panicking. He never thought he would be rejected like this. He deliberately added numbers to his age to get closer to Jess and yet, the older’s attitude changed, looking like he wanted a refund and a change him for another much younger man. He quickly confessed, “My actual age is twenty-five! Really, you can look at my ID card!”

Looking at the year and month, Jess finally calmed down, reluctantly satisfied. Not fully twenty-five years old yet, twenty-four and a half to be exact.

That’s more like it.

Jake felt quite defeated. He thought Jess occasional flushed face was because the he liked him. He didn’t think Jess was so cold and heartless. Sometimes he really can't understand him.

*****

Nielson waited nervously at home, but Jess never came back.

He recalled what Jess said on Tuesday. He mentioned his own birthday and said he had something to tell him.

It was highly likely that Jess wanted them to get married so he avoided it and deliberately changed the topic.

For more than ten years, he always did that, not expecting Jess would be so mad this time.

Nielson thought, if he properly celebrates Jess birthday this time and puts effort into preparing him a gift, Jess might forgive him.

He sent him a dozen messages, but Jess simply ignored them. There was not even a single “read” sign.

He had no choice but to go find Jess himself. Still unable to meet him, he asked the neighbours and was told that Jess went out two days ago and didn’t return yet.

Where did he exactly go? Who else can he ask? Nielson was momentarily lost. Did Jess have other friends that he didn't know of?

He could only go to the company to ask.

Harold didn’t hide anything. “Jess already resigned. I don’t know where he went. You’re his friend and I’m only his superior. If you don’t know, how would I know?”

Nielson's mind went blank. “Resigned? Jess resigned? When did this happen?”

Harold couldn’t believe it. “Didn’t I say it before? I went to find Jess that day to ask him to not resign. You don’t remember?”

Nielson was stunned for a moment. Thinking about it, he seemed to have heard something like that. He was too angry that day and too anxious now to remember what he heard clearly.

“Why would Jess resign? Why did he resign?”

Harold thought of how vicious Jess looked—”Don’t you dare tell anyone else about this!”

After a pause, Harold said, “I don’t know. You’re asking me? That’s what I want to ask others too.”

“If you want to find him, you should ask his parents,” he added.

He had never succeeded in anything. Jess treated him so well and since it was Jess last wish, he should at least fulfil it and be like a man who keeps his promises.

Nielson was feeling discouraged. He had no way to contact Jess parents at all and even if he had… He was aware that Jess severed his relationship with his parents several years ago.

He knew them all clearly. Jess likes him, chose the same university as him, followed him to this city and came out to his parents because of him. But is he to blame? He didn’t force Jess to like him, nor to selflessly be with him.

Jess put too much pressure on him. He was still hesitating when Jess actually dared to come out to his family.

His family is not aware that he likes men. And until now, he's still hesitating whether he should be with Jess and came out to his family. Because he's not sure if two guys can really spend their whole life together?

He thought Jess would always be there waiting for him. He didn’t think that he would leave and never look back. And now, he didn’t know where to find him. Is it really the end for them?

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