Twisted heart

Chapter 6: Hiding

........TRIGGER WARNING...........

THIS CHAPTER HAS TRIGGERING SUBJECTS SUCH AS SELF HARM AND MENTION OF SUICIDE

1 week later........

I was sitting at the table with Darren as he devoured his lunch. Knowing I couldn't stay alone for long I made my way to the UK and to the royal family. I told them what happened and they let me stay. I called Adam and told him where I was and that I was safe. He told me not to call for a while because Garrett was going mad. He was super pissed at Riot who left 3 days later than planned because he wanted me to give him another chance. Bethany had recently discovered she is pregnant with her and Derricks second child, we were both secretly hoping for a girl.

"Darren you're gonna choke, slow down." I said warmly.

"Yes Ally." Darren said looking down. 

"More chips?" One of the kitchen Omegas asked me, carrying out french fries.

"Yes please, Thank you Susan."

"Your welcome milady." Susan said as she left. 

"Can I play with Jinx today, she sounded sad last night." Darren asked. At night Jinx would howl for our mate, she knew why I left and rejected him, she just wanted him more than anything else.

Are you up for it Jinx?

(I guess) She said sadly. I nodded at Darren and smiled to cover the tears that wanted to fall. It was killing me to see Jinx this way. 

"I'm gonna go get ready okay Darren?"

"Alright see you in a jiff." Darren said before I got up and walked to my room. I closed the door and slid down against it. I let the tears slide down my face again. I wanted it all to stop, I wanted the hurt to go away, but I couldn't do that to Darren and his parents. I got up and went to the bathroom and did something I never thought I would do. I took my small switch blade and sliced my wrist. I stood there and watched the blood run down the sink. There is too much pain, I was trying to bleed it out. I let my arms heal then I cleaned up the blood and stripped putting on a large fluffy red robe. I walked out to the courtyard where Darren was waiting. I took off the robe and shifted, it was a little painful unlike usual. I knew it was the blood loss but, it helped to numb the pain. I let Jinx take control, she and Darren played for hours. Bethany came out to us and asked Darren to go inside and she handed me the robe. I shifted and she pulled me to a secluded spot.

"Allison you have to stop." She said holding my wrists and looking into my eyes. 

"It helps with the pain Beth. It hurts so much." I say as tears fall from my eyes.

"I know you are in pain, but this is Not the way to heal, what would your mother say." She asked.

"I don't know anymore. I used to hear her and dad sometimes, but they are gone too." I say as I rock back and forth. "I just want it to stop." I cry out. Beth was crying too as she wrapped me in her arms. 

"Do you want to know how I found out."

"Does it matter?" I felt utterly defeated.

"I got a call from Adam, Riot told him he gets burning pains in his wrist when he is sleeping, when he is awake and not doing anything. He feels your pain Allison." She was trying to be helpful.

"He can feel the physical pain, not the emotional pain he caused." I whimper. 

"It's true he is a cause, but he is not the only one Allison. I think you need to see him, you and Jinx will both feel better." She said lightly. 

"I'm scared Beth." I admitted making myself cry even harder. "He said he would have my fear. I hope he is happy now that he has it." I said standing up and walking away.

...........Riot POV..........

I could feel it every time Allison took whatever it was to her wrist, mine would always burn and I wanted to make the pain stop. I finally realized it was Allison and not me, that realization had brought me to my knee's. I was the reason she was harming herself. All I want to do is take her pain away, I want to make it stop. So I called Adam, he was beyond annoyed of my calling at this point.

"What?" He answered my call angrily.

"I think Allison is hurting herself." I meekly said into my phone.

"Why do you think that?" I could hear the worry in his voice.

"My wrists will burn, it starts and stops at random times. I realized today it's Allison and not me."

"f*****g great, this is on you Riot." He said before hanging up. I know it is. 

I was about to go to bed when Adam called me.

"Adam?" I asked worried.

"You've done it Riot. For the first time since she was 10, Allison is scared. From what I heard her exact words were "He said he would have my fear. I hope he is happy now that he has it." I had hope when you announced you were mates. I should've protected her from you." With that Adam hung up the phone. She was scared. I had brought out her fear, I landed on my knees and I cried shamelessly for the hundredth time that day. 

(This is what happens when you think with your d**k Spencer!)

What have I done? I pulled myself away from my body, I climbed into the cage with my wolf Fang and shut the door. I don't deserve to ever see her again. My wolf seeing how bad off I was stayed with me.

..........Allison POV.........

I was sitting on the couch with Darren when Beth came running in. She was panic stricken I went to her and she grabbed my arms.

"Allison, Riot he's in a coma, he wont wake up." I couldn't be hearing her correctly.

"What..?" I asked softly.

"They found him this morning on his floor, he isn't responding. Black-paw has no Alpha right now and it's people are vulnerable. Please Ally save him." All I could do was nod. Beth sighed and grabbed my arm, she pulled me into a SUV and we pulled away from the palace. How did this happen? 

(We did this, we hurt him) Jinx whimpered.

No, he hurt us, and in the process he hurt himself. 

(What will we do if we lose him too?) 

We will do the only thing we can, be strong and move on.

(Would you be able to without me?)

If I lost you Jinx I would end my life.

(Can you forgive him? Please? I need my mate.)

I will do anything for you Jinx, I may not forgive him, but I will stay near him for you.

(But I need you to be happy too.)

Maybe someday I will be Jinx, I hope eventually he earns my forgiveness, and we can be real mates.

(I hope so too Al.)

Just then we pulled up to a private jet. Bethany pulled me from the car and hugged me, wishing me a happy flight. I boarded the plane and looked out the window. I closed my eyes, all I could see was his grey eyes and the way he looked that day. I had so much hope, and he tore me apart. Why would any wolf do that to his mate, if it was about the release I could have done that, why go to some w***e instead of using your mate, who you are already with. I will never understand why he did that to me. 

We landed and Adam was waiting for me with his car. I hopped in and he drove me to the Black-paw pack hospital. 

"Adam what is wrong?" His blue eyes were red rimmed and his blonde hair was crazy.

"It's my fault Al. I told him what you had said to Beth and I broke him. I just wanted him to understand how you felt. I'm so sorry." tears fell from his eyes. We got to the hospital and Adam led me to Riot's room, Riot was laying on the bed, his eyes were closed, his hair was a mess and he had dropped a few pounds since I last saw him. I went over to his bed and grabbed his hand. Sparks erupted at our touched skin. 

"You need to wake up Riot, your pack is counting on you. Please wake up." I said. I brought my free hand up and brushed his face. "I'm sorry I wasn't the perfect mate Riot, had I been, this wouldn't have happened." I laid my forehead on our hands and eventually fell asleep.