The Morning After
1113 Words
Before dawn, the Ashford estate is silent. After hours of talking, apologizing, and finally lowering the walls they'd both hidden behind, Damien gently cups Ava's face and kisses her. What begins as a tentative kiss becomes a promise that neither of them expected to make. For the first time in her life, Ava isn't an operative carrying out an assignment—she's simply a woman choosing the man she loves. The bedroom door closes behind them, and the night belongs only to them.
Ava's POV
I woke before the sun.
Not because I wanted to.
Because I didn't know how not to.
Unit Nine had trained sleep out of us years ago. We learned to wake at the slightest shift in air pressure, the faintest creak of a floorboard, the smallest change in breathing from the person beside us.
It was instinct now.
My eyes opened into darkness, and for several seconds I didn't move.
I listened.
The grandfather clock somewhere downstairs marked the passing of another minute.
Rain tapped softly against the windows.
The old timber of the Ashford estate settled with quiet groans.
No footsteps.
No alarms.
No danger.
For the first time in what felt like forever...
The world was peaceful.
Then I felt it.
Warmth.
A steady heartbeat beneath my cheek.
I frowned.
Confused.
Slowly, my memories returned.
The escape.
Victor.
The doctor's visit.
Damien walking into the room.
His promise.
"They'll have to come through me first."
The conversations that followed had stretched deep into the night. They had spoken until there were no more lies left between them. About fear. About regret. About the child growing inside me. About the lives we should have lived if the world had been kinder.
Somewhere between whispered confessions and exhausted silence...
I had fallen asleep in his arms.
I lifted my head carefully.
Damien was still asleep.
His face looked younger somehow, almost free from the weight he'd carried since the day we met. The hard edges were gone. The tension that usually sat across his brow had disappeared.
He trusted me.
That thought struck harder than any bullet.
His hand still rested lightly around mine.
Not holding me in place.
Just... holding me.
As though somewhere during the night he had reached for me without even realizing it.
My thumb brushed against his fingers before I caught myself.
What am I doing?
I should have moved away.
Instead...
I found myself studying him.
The tiny scar beneath his jaw.
The bruise darkening his cheekbone.
The slow rise and fall of his chest.
I was memorizing him.
The realization sent a chill through my body.
Weapons don't memorize people.
Weapons complete missions.
I quietly slipped my hand from his.
The absence of his warmth felt immediate.
Unwelcome.
I stood and crossed the room, wrapping his shirt around myself. It hung loosely against my frame, carrying the faint scent of cedarwood and the smoke from last night's fireplace.
I closed my eyes.
That smell...
It already felt familiar.
Dangerously familiar.
I walked to the window.
The first light of dawn painted the gardens below in pale shades of silver and blue. Dew clung to the hedges. Somewhere beyond the trees, birds greeted the morning as though the world hadn't nearly ended yesterday.
For a moment...
I imagined another life.
One where I woke up every morning beside the same man.
One where the child inside me grew up running through those gardens instead of learning how to field-strip a rifle before learning multiplication.
One where my greatest concern was breakfast instead of body counts.
The picture formed so naturally that it stole my breath.
"No..."
I whispered to myself.
No.
That wasn't my life.
It never could be.
The voice arrived before I could stop it.
Not Damien's.
Not Victor's.
Commander Elias.
Cold.
Precise.
Relentless.
"Attachment creates hesitation."
I clenched my fists.
"Hesitation creates failure."
Stop.
"Failure gets everyone around you killed."
The words echoed through my mind like gunfire.
I had spent twenty-eight years believing them.
Now I was beginning to question everything.
And that terrified me more than any mission ever had.
I looked back over my shoulder.
Damien shifted in his sleep, searching instinctively across the bed until his hand found the empty space where I had been moments earlier.
Even asleep...
He was looking for me.
Something inside my chest cracked.
I wanted to go back.
To lie beside him.
To pretend, just for one more hour, that none of this existed.
Unit Nine.
Raven.
The orders.
The blood.
The lies.
I took one step toward the bed.
Then another.
I stopped.
If Raven ever discovered what had happened between us...
He wouldn't come after me.
He would come after Damien.
After our child.
After everyone carrying the Ashford name.
Love didn't weaken me.
It painted a target on everyone I cared about.
My breathing quickened.
Distance.
Create distance.
Protect the mission.
Protect the people.
Even if they never understood why.
The bedroom door opened quietly as I stepped into the hallway.
The corridor was empty.
I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes.
For the first time in years...
I cried.
Not because I was afraid of dying.
Because I had finally found something worth living for.
And I believed I had to walk away from it.
When I returned several minutes later, my face was composed once more.
The assassin had returned.
Only the woman underneath knew it was a lie.
Behind me, Damien stirred awake.
"Ava?"
His voice was rough with sleep.
Hopeful.
I kept my back to him.
"Morning."
He smiled.
"I was wondering where you'd gone."
There was warmth in his voice that made this even harder.
I folded my arms tightly across my chest.
"I couldn't sleep."
He stood, crossing the room until he was only a few steps behind me.
"You okay?"
"I'm fine."
The answer came too quickly.
Too rehearsed.
Silence settled between us.
"Ava..."
I still couldn't face him.
"You haven't looked at me once."
My throat tightened.
If I turned around...
Everything I had built over the last ten minutes would fall apart.
"What happened?"
His voice was softer now.
"Did I do something?"
The hurt behind those words made my heart ache.
I wanted to tell him no.
To tell him last night had meant everything.
To tell him that was exactly the problem.
Instead...
I forced the cruelest lie I had ever spoken.
"This..."
I swallowed hard.
"...was a mistake."
The words echoed through the room.
I heard his footsteps stop.
The silence that followed was heavier than any explosion.
Behind me, Damien Ashford's heart quietly began to break.
And mine broke with it.
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