I have never held a weapon in my hands. There have been times when I desperately wished that I had something that I could have used to protect myself. There's a familiarity in risk and danger. It's called fear. Being in danger and risking danger isn't the same thing. I learned that at a young age. Being in danger instills the kind of fear that stays with you. It gives you nightmares. It wakes you up at night in a cold sweat, tears streaming down your face. Risking danger brings a smile to your face. It fills your being with the kind of fear that is thrilling. It makes you wonder if you're ever going to feel that kind of emotion ever again. The thing they have most in common is that they both let you know you're alive.
"This is going to be your weapon for now," Young handed me a f
