FAT BUT BE-YOU-TIFUL

chapter 6

I threw my bag on the couch, switched on television and selected Mentalist (again). I cranked the volume to the

max and drew close the window on the right wall. Once there was no connection to the outside world I took off

my bra from beneath my tee, flung it across the room and took down my jeans. I collapsed into the couch and

threw open the lid of my pizza box. Oh the smell. I looked around to see what could be my desert for today. O

opened the fridge and nothing to satisfy my craving. But I saw bananas on the counter and I had nutella hidden

somewhere. Dessert done. I heard my mobile ringing to the sound of Gold by Kiiara. I ran towards my phone

with nutella in my hand. I took a bite of pizza and said an unclear Hello with mouth full and cheese dripping.

"Hey!" I heard a very manly voice from the other side.

“Who’s this?” I replied trying to focus more on mentalist than the conversation. When will Robin and Jane end

up together? I mean I know what season and what show but still!

“Your godfather.” The guy said.

“Really? Then you are doing a terrible job.” I replied.

“Am I? I have never let you take any bad decisions now have I?”

“I beg to differ. My life is a sum up of bad decisions.”

“ The yellow top you were wearing today seemed like a good one.” I heard a chuckle.

“Okay this just got creepy.” I said pausing the mentalist.” Who is this?” I demanded.

“ Why don’t you entertain me a bit and guess?”

“Listen you s**t head! You better hang up or I will make sure you can never use those fingers of yours to dial

ever again. Trust me you’d want those fingers of yours to dial ambulance when I smash you up you mother-“

“Saraaa! It’s me Oliver! God! For a person with such a sweet name you sure have a sailor mouth.” Oliver burst

into laughing.

"YOU!!!!! You are so dead tomorrow.” I replied, and thanking Oliver to never let me finish the sentence.

“ Why did you leave so soon today? I was waiting for you in the class with my jokes prepared and all."

"So you do know why I didn't come to class. I had to rescue myself from those joke of yours. Sometimes you

have to be your own hero."

I heard my doorbell ring.

"Oliver! Listen I have to hang up. Someone is at my door. I will see you tomorrow okay!? Bye!"

"Okay but listen to me carefully and I will not repeat this. It’s really important."

“What??” I said keenly.

“It could be serial killer.” He whispered.

“Don’t you think coincidences of a serial killer visiting another serial killer are rather quite thin?” I replied.

“I didn’t think of that. I guess I am too naïve”

“That you are! Now I gotta go. Bye!” I said and hung up.

I went to open the door. Yes! I did check through the peep hole to check.

Mom's rule number ONE followed. I am a good daughter. She is so lucky!

I saw Mrs. Hamel's little granddaughter standing near door jumping on her toes to align her face with the

peephole. I opened it and invited her in. Mrs. Hamel was my neighbor who lived with her son and her

granddaughter. She was quite old but a total badass with her sarcastic remarks. Her young day’s tales are

always entertaining.

“Have you come to play or Mrs. Hamel is not letting you have ice-cream again?” I asked while I gestured her to

come in.

“Granny is making pancakes but she is out of some items. She gave me this list and asked to ask you If you

could get ‘em for us.” She said and showed me a piece of paper.

“ I could but it depends..” I said and put my finger on my lips.

“On what?” she asked.

“Am I getting any of the pancakes?” I winked at her and took the list from her. “ I will get these in 30 minutes

and drop them off at your place OK?” I added.

“Okaayy…also can I get you me some ice cream?” she asked.

“Always.” I smiled and waved at her.

She took a slice of pizza and left. I went to finish off my pizza and the show. I decided to wear pajamas to the

shop. It’s not like I am going to bump into Harry styles anyway. I picked up my sling bag and took the list. I

checked in the kitchen to see if I was also short of something. I am not going out to buy groceries again.I

locked my door and double checked it. Lucky mom. It was a pleasant day so I decided to walk, it could also

help to digest some of that cheesy stuff.

I reached market and started searching for the things that were mentioned in the list. I saw a kid trying to skid

next to me. His shoes had too much of a grip to slide off. I pointed at his shoes and then decided to show him

what skidding looks like. I ran trying to get a good pace to let my slippers go wild. And I did. I skid so good that my slippers decided to disobey me. I bumped into someone and we both fell. WHAT IS IT ABOUT TODAY AND FALLING? I instantly got up to apologize and offered my help the unfortunate. But the person was quicker than me.

HIIMMM!!! s**t s**t!

He was the same guy. The one I saw in college. The one who picked me up earlier in the day. The guy who was too hot to be embarrassed in front of. But here I was lying on the floor with milk splashed all over my pajamas. My unicorn pajamas.

Does this guy have any kind of humiliating tracker device? I started to think how I was once pooped over by a pigeon during my picnic in front of my entire class and the guy I crushed so hard on. That other time when I farted very loud during my visit to a museum. Or the other time when I slipped on a treadmill on that dreadful day I decided to join gym. My thoughts started running wild thinking about all the "ooops" moments that I didn't even notice his hand near my face for help. I started thinking should I take his hand, get up and apologize again or should I just play dead until he leaves. I saw confusion in him grew when I kept staring at him blankly. I couldn't stop looking at him. He decided not to wait for my response and grasped my hand and yanked me up on my feet.

"Are you always that clumsy or there is something special about today?" He said with a smirk in his face and started picking my groceries, my chocolate and the leaked milk carton.

I remained mum and then I heard a laughter behind my back. I turned to see the kid I gave my wisdom to) laughing and pointing at me.

"JERK." I murmured under my breath.

" I was kidding. I didn't mean to offend you." the handsome guy said.

"Oh no! Not you. I was talking about that kid there." I said and pointed back at him. The kid who was still laughing. I stuck my tongue out and made a funny face at the guy. He kept laughing. I moved my finger near my neck and made a gesture from left to right. The one you do when you tell someone they are dead. He stopped laughing and moved to the next aisle.

I returned towards the guy who was smiling at me,

HIS SMILE! Hot! I could kiss him now. Can I? No right? I don't even know his name.

"Jack Browns"

"What?"

"My name" and another smirk came into his face.

OMG! Did he read my mind? He can do that? Is he a psychic too. They always know stuff. At least the guys in TV do.

I kept thinking until he said something.

"Sorry WHAT??"

"I said MY name is JACK BROWNS. What is yours?" He asked.

"Sara! I am sorry I just got lost in thoughts."

"So you live somewhere near?" he asked.

"Yeah! My house is just two blocks away."

And suddenly there was a fart sound and then another and then another. Jack got confused and started trying to smell the origin of the noises.

"It's me." I said." I mean my phone. It's my ringtone."

I should really change it soon. I thought

He laughed and I blushed.

"Hello?.....Yeah!....Okay.....Fine....in ten minutes... Bye!" and I hung up the call.

"Mom?" He asked.

"No! My neighbor. She was asking me how much time will it take for me to get back! "

We both proceeded towards counter. While we were paying in the different counters I thought of having a last glimpse of him for today.

I tried to sneak a peek at him while playing cool. I think falling twice has relinquished my right to be cool. He was looking straight at me. s**t.

We both blushed and looked down.

WOW! did he blush? why?

We both came out of the shop and he handed me tissues to wipe off milk from my arms. What's wrong with me?

He asked me if he could drop me at my place. I thanked him but rejected the offer. I want to be 1000 feet away from me today. Today is just not my day.

"Would you like to have coffee?" he asked.

"Thanks but I really need to get home and drop off these items." I replied.

"Okay then I will see you tomorrow." He said.

"Sure" I said and bid him goodbye.

I reached halfway home and turned around to go the shop again.

I FORGOT MILK.

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