Something Craz'er

Chapter 2

***Pat***

   I stood thinking about everything that happened this morning.

Pearl is my last child and my favorite one

Her father was the only man who ever really truly loved me. The first two made life a living hell for me, until I met Greg.

At first I wasn't into a white man but he made me see life in a really different way that I didn't know when I fell in love with him.

   He took Will and Clarissa like they were his own children,but he died when Pearl was four.

  She was so devastated by his death

She went so deep into depression as a child that I thought I was going to loose her.

I remember her fifth birthday ....

***

I walked to her room that morning and met her sleeping so soundly. Her pale brown face shone in the sun, I touched her face softly and tears ran down my face. Greg died two days to her birthday and we had just buried him yesterday. I wondered how she would feel if we couldn't celebrate her birthday so I decided we would.

  I left her room and went down the stairs to bake a cake for her, Will and Clarissa agreed to invite her classmates at school for the party.

    After everything was prepared, I went to her room to help her get ready before her classmates arrived but I met the most horrifying image...

Pearl wasn't in the room...she wasn't in the bathroom.....she wasn't anywhere in the house

"where are you Pearl?!" I called as I raced down the stairs

"What's wrong mum?" fifteen year old Will asked

"I can't find Pearl"I said gasping

"What?"ten year old Clarissa asked

"Pearl!!!" We all called searching for her

"Where's my baby?"I muttered,crying already when I heard Clarissa scream

"MOM!" Her high-pitched screams echoed around the house

I ran outside to meet Will and Clarissa, shocked,staring at the roof...

And there she was .....Pearl... standing on the roof.... attempting suicide..

It was terrific

"Pearl?" I called and she turned slowly to look at me

"Mom"said her tiny voice

"Uhmmm baby,your party is ready and your friends are almost here. You should come down and get dressed"I said in a shaking voice

"No" she objected

"I don't want a party,I want Daddy"she said and then I knew there was great trouble

"Sweetie, Daddy's gone to the good Lord. He's safe and happy there and God wants you to be happy too"

"If God was good then why did He take Daddy from me?!" She yelled and I shivered, as she turned to face the sky

"There is no God" she said as tears ran down her face

  I shivered as I took in deep cold breath...

"Come down and we'll talk about it honey,uhmm" I said again

"I'm going to Daddy, and I can't do that unless I die" she said as she wiped her tears with her palm

I stood with terror as I heard her last sentence..

Clarissa and Will were too little to do anything...

I didn't know what to do..

I was.. helpless, as she moved closer to the edge..

"Daddy wants you!" I yelled and she stopped in her track

"He wants you to live. And be happy. That's the best gift you could ever give him, he'll be so happy" I said crying and Will and Clarissa joined me

"So live Pearl!" I yelled again

She stared at me for a while,crying her eyes out..as she slowly came down to her window and into her room.

  I rushed to her oom with Will and Clarissa racing behind me.

I pulled her in a warm hug as our tears filled the room....

"I will live mum"she muttered

"I'll be happy, but I'll never fear anything....not even death"

Her last words sank deep into me

*****

She lived as she said, in a way that made her happy and I never objected to anything.

I spoiled her

I made her this way....

******************************************************

***Pearl***

We sat in our crazy noisy class, waiting for the Eco teacher. Tessie was busy chatting her boyfriends and I was well....doing nothing.

Mr Kim walked into the class...

"Morning class"he said and got noise in return as I stared at him

"We would start the class if you could all quiet down" he said again and they kept up with the noise ...

If not because three of the BTS members have "Kim" in their names, I certainly wouldn't butt in

"Will you all shut the f**k up? Kim's tryina start class but he can cos ya'll messed up bitches can't keep you voices down?!" I yelled as there was absolute silence in the class and everyone stared at me with different expressions

Yeah

They fear me

I sat down to meet Mr Kim staring at me,then I gave him the "ain't you gonna start?" look

"It's Mr Kim" he said and he coughed slightly and started the class.

   Surprisingly, I am very good academically

Everything went in well and class ended well

I was packing my books and then...

"Hey" he whispered behind me and I turned...

"Dylan" I said, not surprised

"Great how you stood up for Mr Kim. They weren't gonna listen to anyone" He said smiling and I stared at him

Why would he like me??

He's too good for me ...

"You're wrong" I said and he raised his eyebrow

"I stood up for Kim not Mr Kim" I said and walked away, leaving him confused

"Miss Marcus" Mr Kim called

"You're welcome,Mr Kim" I said in return and he chuckled

"Miss Marcus,what is your future ambition?"

"I have none" I replied immediately and he looked at me like I was not normal

"Ion have a future" I said again and walked away

"Everyone has a future" he said after me

I stopped..

I didn't turn, instead I walked away

***

Dylan raced behind Tessie and I as we walked home

"You should give me your number,you know"Dylan called and Tessie looked at me before I turned

"Why?"

"I just thought I should have it. We're classmates right?"

"I'm not giving" I replied and tried to walk away

"Why?"he asked

God, he pisses me off

"Aren't you gonna stop?!" I yelled at him

"I'm never gonna give you my number, I'm never gonna have a good conversation with you, I'm never gonna going on a date with you,I will never like you not to talk of ever loving you!"

He froze in his steps ...

"P"Tessie muttered as I took in deep breaths

I could see the hurt in his heart

I felt bad...

No, I shouldn't..

He has to know the fact

He shouldn't be too good

Good ones always suffers...

"I emm...I should probably...get uhmm head home now" he muttered slowly

"Bye" he said and left and I sighed and watched him leave

"P" Tessie called again

"I need a stick" I said as I walked away

***

I sighed as I took a huge sip of the cigarette smoke

Tessie was staring at me ever since we got to her house

"You've been staring at me" I started and turned to look at her

"With those eyes, like you just saw the devil himself"

Tessie frowned

"You just told him the truth in a very impolite way, you did nothing wrong" she said sacarstically and I smirked

"I'm the worst" I said sipping again

"You keep becoming what you say, you're amazing. You always seem to achieve everything you want yourself to be, why don't you direct that in the right way, huh?" She said but I kept quiet

She was right, strangely enough

"I met you this way P, but I'm never leaving you this way" she said again

"So, what ya gonna do?" I said and got her silence in response

She was speechless

"I love you P" she whispered and I stared at her

"I love ya too" I said back , smiling faintly

    Tessie and I met in kindergarten

I was the crying kid, I was always crying due to the depression I had suffered because of my dad's death and one day this white kid walked up to me...

"You wanna die?' she asked

I wiped my eyes to see six year old Tessie staring down at me

"You're always crying"

"Back off"I said

"No, you back down" she said back and I looked at her

"No matter how hard it gets, you should never give up. Crying makes you weak" she said and I smirked

"You don't know anything"I said standing up and facing her

"Yeah, I don't and I don't care"she said calmly

"What I know is that your crying pisses me off cos I know you're stronger than this,com'on"

I was shocked at her words

She was just a kid

A kid like me

I looked down at my feet feeling shy cos she spoke absolute truth , then she held my hands in hers and smiled when our eyes locked.

"You're better than this" she smiled

Yeah

She was right

I am

"my name's Teresa, Teresa miles"

"You?" She motioned to me to tell her my name

"I'm Pearl, Pearl Marcus"

"Nice to meet you,P" she said and gave me a handshake

At that moment, I knew I met someone who understood me

A best friend

A sister

Family

Tessie was everything to me

I turned to look at her as she turned to lay on her bed

"I need a nap" she sighed

"Mind if I join you?" I asked putting out the fire in my stick

"With your smoke stinking breath?thanks, I'll pass" she said and I smirked, jumping on the bed and moving close to her

"Stinking?"

"Move!" She yelled

"I'm gonna kiss you"

"Ewww" she jumped from the bed

"Wait till I catch you" I said as I chased her round her bed with her giggling

"P stop!"

"I'm really tired, I'm not into this!"

"Well I am!" I yelled as we ran down the stairs

At that moment I was clear of any thoughts..

I was free ..

I was happy