21 Instances

he asks me if I slept

he asks me if I slept

and I mean what did he think I was doing lying here face down meditating on the fate of the universe but if I say that he’ll explain the real fate of the universe to me and I’ll hate it I keep quiet and stand up he really is insane I wonder why I’m the only one who notices he pushes me toward the bathroom gets me in there turns on the shower and leaves and my clothes have been on for a while and my socks don’t want to come off but the shower wakes me up I feel a lot better quick and it’s a good thing because Oppie is banging on the door and yelling at me to come out I wrap a towel around my waist the towel is dirty and it’s so stiff I have to sort of fold it like a box around me I open the door and Oppie is holding a new suit up for me to look at its yellow and has vertical red stripes I blink a few times and look again but those are the colors Oppie’s also got a pink shirt a black tie and some new socks and underwear he goes into a long speech about where he bought the suit and how he bargained for it and a lot more and he obviously isn’t going to leave my bedroom so I drop the towel and start putting the clothes on but the whole time my fingers are itching to write code Oppie stops talking long enough to tie my tie for me and then we’re moving he says we’re late so he’ll have to step on it to get us there on time oh my god I black out again when I come to I’m in his ewhatever we’re in the street this time Oppie is waving at Mr. Johnson who is coming for us with a chainsaw that he starts up as he gets closer but Oppie peels away before he can get us Oppie says his cat is sick and had to stay home I close my eyes because we were coming to a stop sign and he wasn’t even looking let alone slowing down yeah the QT hierarchies will work but that’s just the beginning I still don’t like the way CS2 wants to store the data one table for each data item is going to get huge fast and how the hell can QT pulse through them fast enough to get it to think I hear a siren and open my eyes and see that two motorcycle cops are in front of us in the express lane of the freeway with their lights flashing I guess they’re our escort Oppie turns to me and winks and tells me the cop on the left is one of his grad students and he is an admirable fellow who has never understood the importance of Hegel in our cultural heritage oh god he’s so crazy the cops lead us all the way to an exit ramp which Oppie drives down like it’s a ski slope and we’re a bobsled team I mean fast we streak right through the red light on the access road faster that’s the key but our brains aren’t fast we’ve got hardware that’s a lot faster Oppie takes a corner at about 60 klicks we almost tip over but the compensator saves us and we screech to a halt in front of a 3-story house all brick with huge windows the front yard is about a kilometer wide and looks perfect Quad must pay their security a lot a giant set of wood doors swing open and there’s Andy wearing some kind of black pants with pockets all over them and a black shirt with even more pockets he leads us into a hallway that opens out into a room with a ceiling 10 meters high with a white carpet and strange furniture metal and glass chairs tables and a big aluminum couch Andy leads us to it we sit down it’s not very comfortable Oppie babbles away about Smkiskn’s wife that’s Andy’s real name Oppie says she’s one of the most famous design artists in the worlds I don’t see how I mean we’re sitting on a metal couch and Andy pushes me back and the part of the couch I’m on tilts with my body until I’m at a 20-degree angle now I’m helpless Andy has a huge bottle in his hand he pours some clear liquid into a glass and hands it to me and then one for Oppie and one for him he raises his glass and so does Oppie and they look at me I raise my glass and they both drink off their whole glass I figure it’s water and drink mine boom the liquid hits my stomach my whole body gets hot I gasp and take a few deep breaths Andy thinks I liked it he refills my glass and Oppie’s and his they drink and I drink too the walls are moving no it’s my eyes un-focusing Oppie and Andy are talking but I can’t understand a word I think it’s the drink but then I realize they’re speaking Russian I try to look around but my head isn’t obeying my movement commands and I end up tilting back more in my section of the couch I’m almost lying down a new voice from behind hits me like a sonic boom I try to sit up but the couch doesn’t cooperate until Oppie presses a button next to me that I hadn’t noticed before and my seat shoots straight upright and ejects me onto my feet it’s got some kind of spring mechanism kinda cool except my stomach is still where it was I’m trying not to vomit as I turn to where the voice came from and see a woman Andy’s age she’s also big and she’s wearing a bright red dress with vertical orange stripes I guess today is stripes day she’s got a huge tray in her hands with all kinds of little dishes another woman steps out from behind her it’s Nadja the daughter her body perfectly fills her black dress it has a short skirt her legs are like a statue her breasts are so big and round I can’t even look not for a second