BackBone

Musing, Confrontation and Chill

Wide eyes, open mouth, muted screams, grasping on for dear life, faced contoured with fear, blue irises..... falling into nothingness. And then, the scream, the ear piercing scream.

**

I shut my locker, leaning against it with my forehead against the cold metal, shuddering breaths escaping my mouth.

I hated Mondays, but today was way different, especially since everyone or nearly everyone witnessed my elimination. They didn't make fun of me or tease me, but they looked, eyes escorting me wherever I went, whatever I did, it was irking, but it was the price to pay. Thank God school is over.

It's nothing out of the ordinary that I had that dream again, it's been a few days, but I'm going to have to get used to it, it's part of how I end my night or start my day. The only thing that's out of the ordinary is what I saw on Saturday while playing the game, the....vision?

God!

I'm a mess on the inside. The way I feel is different, my own self getting lost, I'm battling with this intensity and it's hard, because I'm scared it's going to affect a lot of me, starting from my energy.

"Can we talk?"

A familiar feminine voice cuts through my contemplation.

I whirl around to see Tori, a deep frown creasing her brows, arms firmly folded and her weight shifted to one leg. She doesn't look happy with me at all, and the last time she looked at me like that, we had a fight and we didn't talk for a week, it was my fault anyway.

I haven't seen Tori since Friday after I left her at school, I didn't reply her last text asking me to call her when I'm done with whatever I was doing or fill her in on Keith, and I also didn't tell her about my plans to play Backbone, a game we slaughtered verbally and trashed talked when we heard about it. So now, I go and play it and I don't tell her, I do nothing.

"Tori-" I start but she cuts me off with a hand held up and palm out.

"I came here, didn't I? I'll be the one to talk".

I nodded, biting down on my lower lip before squaring myself for whatever. I only prayed it didn't lead to a fight. Fighting with Tori is the last thing on my list. Although I hated public arguments, it was bound to happen in friendships, plus people would pay attention to fights between Tori and I because everyone knew us together, we had a reputation for 'the greatest team'. So our fights were juicy for them as well as our love.

Tori visibly sucks in air and let it out, something I know she does when she's trying to be level headed, even if she wants to scream at the top of her lungs or go ape s**t crazy or just act out of proportion.

"Cassidy" she starts "you've been acting weird for a few days now and I did my part as your best friend. You told me about this dream you've been having, I was even there one night to witness how much it agitated you and I tried to make sure it didn't take much of a hold on you" she pauses, gulping in air again, she's really mad.

"On Friday we were supposed to go home, we were fine, talking about Keith and the next second, you're upset, you want to walk all the way home and you don't even call me after I asked you to, you don't tell me about Keith and you sure as hell, didn't tell me you were going to play that game. I only found out because Leo was watching and I happened to go over to see him. So tell me what's stopping me from calling this friendship quits, because you don't seem to appreciate it anymore".

No matter how mad we've gotten, we promised to never talk about calling us quits, the last time that happened, we were drunk. I guess this time Tori isn't drunk on alcohol, she's drunk on anger and I should be the level headed one. Honestly, I messed up big time too.

"Tori" I call her name in a whisper, the impact of her question hitting me harshly and leaving me feeling perturbed "don't talk like that, I'd never want to loose us".

"So what happened?" She asks quickly, cutting me off sharply.

I sigh, eyes unconsciously trailing people watching us before looking back at Tori "Okay. On Friday, I don't know...I don't know how to say it or how it's going to sound-".

Again she interrupts "You better find a way to tell me or just hold it to yourself forever".

I've never seen her this angry. I wish Leo was here to calm her down.

"Friday when I told you I wanted to go home" I start "well, I don't know why I felt like walking home, but on my way, I saw a flyer of the game, and I took it, because, surprisingly, that's just what I wanted. Then I took a taxi home-".

"You took a taxi?" She ask-yells and scoffs.

"Like I said, it felt like I just needed the flyer. When I got home, I signed in, forgot to call and even when I remembered after hanging out with Keith, I just thought to tell you in person on Saturday, but after what happened-".

"Your elimination" she states with an unimpressed risen brow.

"That, but not that, it's what I saw while playing. So I couldn't call, I've been okay but I'm sorry".

She's shaking her head already "Sorry doesn't cut it when you're just going to do it again" she shrugs "maybe you need space, it's cool. I can give you space, a lot of space. What you did isn't cool, Cassidy". She starts to leave.

I quickly grab her arm, stopping her and walking around to stand in front of her, worried. She doesn't look at my face, her expression stoic.

"I'm sorry Tori" my eyes plead, the way my heart pleads "you know I'll never do things like this, I've just been caught up in a lot, from the dreams, to the way I feel to what I see" when she still doesn't look at me, I shake her a little "please Tori, you know me well and that's why you know I'm different, so you know I'm not lying, it's not intentional, it's something that's just happening and I really hope you can understand, but I get that you're so mad at me, but I swear. It's not intentional".

Tori doesn't do anything, just keeps looking away, at least she's not trying to walk out.

Then she inhales and releases loudly before looking at me "Telling me wasn't so bad, right?" Then her expression softens as she wraps her arms around me and take me in a tight but comforting hug "the next time you have that dream again, you tell me, I have a spell". She says in a soothing voice.

I roll my eyes but chuckle, my heart instantly warming "Sure".

We pull apart smiling.

She nods over to the front of the school "Come on, let's get out of here, you owe me a lot of details".

I grin and nod "Okay".

Just as we start towards the front, yet another familiar voice calls out to me.

"Cassy!".

I quickly look behind me, so does Tori.

Keith waves at us as he walks towards us, looking hotter as he approaches, warmth rushes to my cheeks once he stops in front of me.

"Hey" I say with a grin. The last time we saw or communicated was on Friday, seeing him is great with the mood and great for my heart.

"Hey" he grins sweetly at me, then acknowledges Tori "How's it going Tori?".

I don't look at Tori, busying myself with making sure to not get caught staring.

"Great actually. Just pretend I'm not here".

I glance at her to see her smiling, and she doesn't move. Oh Tori!

Keith chuckles "Sure. I was actually coming to talk to Cassidy before you beat me to it,and then I saw it was an issue and decided to wait till it got resolved".

"Oh" I say and laugh lightly, Tori does too "you waited?".

"Of course. It's important" he says, locking his gaze with mine, still smiling sweetly.

I inwardly sigh with pleasure, basking in the delicious attention. My own smile never leaves my face.

"Want to go out again? I mean not this week, next week maybe?".

I giggle "Sure, that's cool".

"Cool?" He smirks.

I laugh again "I'd love to. See you next week" I say as I slowly retreat with Tori. This just became my signature exit for Keith.

Tori does a surprising job of containing her excitement for me, but unleashes it when we get outside.

"You and Keith are so adorable!".

I grin at her. Yes we are.