My Childhood Crush

The Parents Argument.

I sat at the table with my best friend we were only 11, me and Lawson Ryder have known each other for longer than I even remember, probably longer than he remembers, over time I knew I liked him more but I don’t know when I started to see him as more than a friend.

I wonder if he feels the same way even a little bit but I know he never could. He knows everything about me, he’s always there for me. Especially recently since my parents seem to be arguing way more.I hope they don’t get a divorce like daddy says they will. Lawson understands my concerns with what’s going on.

I’m thankful to have him by my side even if it’s just as a friend. I looked up from my hands as my thoughts raced. He looked at me concerned

“Are you alright Celeste?” Lawson asked concerned

“I’m not sure”

He got up and wrapped his arms around me hugging me “lost in your thoughts again?”

I nodded, he knows me best.

“Your parents will figure it all out eventually, if not then it’s for the best”

I nodded as tears slowly slipped out of my deep blue eyes, he brushed it off of my cheek, and he tucks a loose dirty blonde wavy hair strand behind my ear

“I know it hurts, it hurts me seeing you so distraught.” He kissed my forehead, and held me close.

His warm skin against mine comforted me a lot more than he knew. I held his arms that were gently wrapped around my neck, I gently breathed in, I could smell his cologne, it smelled so good to me.

He moved one of his arms to reach my hair, he massaged my head gently just the way I’ve always loved, he brushed through my hair with his fingers

“I’ve always loved how beautiful your hair is, how your natural beautiful curls rest on your beautiful fair skin on your shoulders.” He spoke with passion

“Thank you” I felt my cheeks turn a light red, almost pink.

We heard two sets of footsteps, I knew it was my moms and dads instead of my sisters, there came my mom and my dad.

“I don’t care Elizabeth, if the way I raise our daughter is such a issue get the divorce papers.” My father spoke in anger

“Thomas, could you shut the hell up for a minute, we agreed to never argue in front of the kids!” She yelled at him

I held back the tears, I wanted to be strong for mom.

“I don’t care anymore” he said sternly

“Then get the hell out of my house Thomas, you can stay with your mom.” She paused “I’ll see you tomorrow”

He came and hugged me and kissed the top of my head. Then he went upstairs for a short while, we all stayed in the dining room quietly.

He stomped downstairs then when he left he slammed the door. My mom came to me and hugged me and kissed the top of my head.

“I’m so sorry dear” she spoke as tears slipped down her cheeks

“Thank Lawson, for always being here for her. You didn’t have to stay with her until things get better but you still do and I’m thankful for it” she sobbed at the end.

We’re all a mess, we seem like the perfect family until you see what truly goes on. Lawson moved in last summer, it was supposed to be temporary but it just seemed to get worse. It all started because my dad thought it was okay to lock me in my room.

It worked when he was growing up but it doesn’t work anymore. And it’s most definitely not okay. Nothing has been the same since, I wish he never did it. I’m thankful mom stands up for me, and I guess he has been arguing trying to say it’s right no trying to do it again when my grades get bad. But I don’t want him to leave her over such a silly little thing.

But I guess when it comes to your kid it’s not so little. My mom goes upstairs and then I see Lawson staring at me

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” He spoke softly

“Can we go to our room?” I asked almost in tears

“Of course we can” he said while nodding

Me and Lawson started sharing a room as soon as my dad stopped trying to call me a slut for it.

I’ve always liked Lawson, I first noticed liking him as more than a friend probably about three or four years ago. When my siblings moved in with my grandparents.

The first time I ever felt hurt, my dad stopped being so nice to me then, he started yelling and screaming for dumb things but I put up with it. I love my dad but he can be a real jerk sometimes.

He’s the entire reason my siblings moved out in the first place. He got drunk and yelled at them for sitting in his seat when he was laying in both of their seats. I wish my dad would be a little more reasonable sometimes. But what made me like Lawson was him being there for me, he came over everyday or at least called just to check on me.

That’s when I started to wonder what it’d be like to be more than his friend. Any girl who got him would be the luckiest girl in the world. I just wish she could be me.

“Celeste?” He asked

“Yes?”

“You ready to go upstairs?”

I nodded, he smiled and picked me up from my seat, he had carried me bridal style

I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled. I stared up into his beautiful emerald green eyes. His black curly hair rests on his eyebrows so perfectly.

He opened our white door, and walked to the window, it’s where me and him read, sometimes I’ll read to him or he’ll read to me, sometimes we even read silently, but we’re always cuddled up, the bench is white, but it has a few gray and white pillows on top of a blanket with a picture of me and Lawson cuddled up together reading draped over the bench. Except the blanket matched the pillows, on the other side of this blanket it matches the pillows but we like that side more.

The pillows are always neatly put against the window. We have see through white curtains as well as a dark gray light blocking curtains behind it, we always open the dark gray curtain so we can see, Lawson always closes them when I can’t sleep.

He laid me on the bench and then grabbed the blanket from the picture, he sits behind me then he gently sits me on top of him and covers us both up.

“Do you want to read or talk about your feelings?” He asked as he ran his fingers through my hair

“Talk about how I feel then read” I said as I finally let the tears fall from my deep blue eyes down my rosy cheeks.

“Well, what’s on your mind?” He spoke while wiping the tears from my cheeks and hugging me close

“Well, I hate how my dad is acting now” I paused for a brief moment

“He’s not the person he used to be” I sobbed

“Well, people change with time and new things happening just makes people change even more. But absolutely none of what’s going on is your fault or mine, neither is it your moms. Your mom is in the right for defending you against what he’s trying to do, and I know it hurts and you’re allowed to feel that hurt and express it however you want as long as you don’t hurt yourself.” He spoke softly, I could hear the worry in his voice.

He’s right though, it’s not our fault, and I’m allowed to feel hurt.

“I just wish he could be who he used to be, not the jerk he’s become” I sobbed even more and slowly turned into him to hold him.

“I do too, but maybe in the end this is all for the better, and if they do get a divorce it might be for the better too.” He spoke softly once again while pulling me in so we can hold each other. I held him close as I cried into his arms, he massaged my head as he ran his fingers through it.

He kissed my forehead “it’ll be okay soon enough Celeste.”

I smiled at the reassurance and held him closer, he smiled and he wiped away my tears when I stopped crying.

I looked down at my white dress with white socks and white sandals

“I think I should change my clothes”

He smirked and slightly giggled while taking the blanket off of us and sitting it beside the bench. He lifted me back up bridal style again, and took me to the bed next to the closet he sat me down on the bed then opened the white sliding door.

He walked into our huge walk in closet that we both share and he came out with the gray short shorts he knew, I loved his black hoodie, and gray fuzzy socks and handed them to me

“You can change in here or in the closet or our bathroom” he paused

“I’ll look away if you’d like.”

I smirked and walked into the closet and closed the door. I took off my dress, shoes, and socks. I sat the shoes on my tall shoe rack with my dress shoes. I took his hoodie and slipped it on over my red bra with a tiny red bow in the front. It went down to my knees almost, I then slipped on my gray shorts over my red cheeky panties with a bow, I pulled them up past my hips, I find it comfiest that way.

I slipped on the comfy gray and white fuzzy socks and then opened the closet door and walked out to Lawson, he stood next to the door leaning against our white wall with one foot propped up.

He pushed off the wall and stood in front of me, he giggled when he saw how big the hoodie is on me, even the sleeves are big.

I looked up to him smiling and he brushed my hair away from my face, then he pulled a hair tie off his wrist.

“I got this from the bathroom, I know how comfy it is for you to have your hair up.”

I smiled and started putting my hair up “thank you, you know me best”

He smiled looking down at me and my heart was racing, I looked up at him and realized he is a little under half a foot taller than me. But god is he so handsome.

He smirked and went over to our book shelf skimming through the books.

“We should take a trip to the bookstore tomorrow we’ve read most of these.” He said with his back facing me

“I’ll pick one, you should change into something comfier you’ve been wearing that leather jacket and jeans all day”

He nodded and then went into the closet, I could hear him rummaging through his clothes, I kept looking at the books.

“Aha” I spoke as I grabbed the book I’ve been dying to read. I smiled and sat it on a black table we have near the window. Then I go to me and his bed and make our bed.

I fix the velvety gray bed cover and then I take my fuzzy soft gray blanket to match and put it over the cover, I folded it where the gray soft fuzzy pillows are. He walks out as I’m making the bed

As soon as I finish I turn around and see Lawson standing behind me wearing gray fuzzy pants and a black shirt, he’s also wearing gray and white fuzzy socks identical to mine.

He smiles and then he grabs his reading glasses that are black frames but they only go over the top, he puts them on. Then he grabs my reading glasses and hands them to me the frames are gray and they go around the entire lens.

I put them on and he smiles as I’m facing him and picks me up, he uses my thighs to hold as he picks me up, I wrap my arms around him so I don’t fall backwards.

He smiles as he sits on our bench, he then looks out the window and so do I, the sun is setting with it’s beautiful bright oranges and yellows and a few light pinks too.

I smile staring at its beautiful colors that blend together almost perfectly, this is something we do together too if we have the chance. Watch the sunset, he smiles and leans his head against mine.

He sets me down carefully and says “I have an idea”

I nod as he gets up and opens the window, he then steps out to the roof, there is a bit of room there, then he walks on the roof out of my eyesight for a few minutes.

He comes back and grabs my hand “come on Celeste” he spoke excitedly

I smile and grab the book and I take his hand and follow him, he carefully walks me on top of the roof and he sits down besides our bedroom wall where our reading corner is

I smile and I start reading the book, he cuddles up to me and holds me close to his chest smiling. I could hear his heartbeat, at first it was slow paced then it started to speed up a little.

Not at a worrisome pace, but then I realized mine synced with his. I smiled at the thought of it and I kept reading to him.

Hours pass and we’re already almost done with the book. He smiles and takes the book to read the last few pages to me. We finish the book and then we both look up at the stars smiling.

I keep laying on his chest because to me it was comforting. He smiles and gently takes my hair down so he can run his fingers through my hair. I let him and he puts the hair tie on his wrist once again.

“Celeste? Lawson?” My mom called she sounded a little worried so Lawson handed me the hair tie and I carefully put my hair back up and we both went back inside the room through my window.

I sat the book on my table and right there stood my mom.

“What we’re you two doing?” She asked confused

“I had an idea to watch the sunset and read together on the roof.” He paused and my mom stared at him, I could almost feel the daggers coming from her eyes.

“I went out and made sure it was safe for her” he continued.

“Well as long as you two were safe.” Her eyes calmed and I nodded

“Dinners ready, I know it’s delayed.” She goes to walk out of my room

“Oh and your siblings are joining us today as well as your grandparents”

“Would you like for us to change back into what we were wearing mom?”

She nodded and walked out, I rolled my eyes and walked into the closet pulling off his hoodie, I sat it on our bed neatly knowing I was gonna put it back on, I took off my fuzzy socks and sat them next to the hoodie, then I took off my shorts and sat them with it.

I looked over at Lawson who has his eyes closed, and I smiled and then looked down at my body and saw my slightly toned stomach and my big thighs and average sized chest for someone as young as me.

I walked into the closet and slipped on my dress and socks.

“You can open your eyes now” I said with a smirk

He opened his eyes as I put on my shoes, I looked in the mirror that stood between my shoe rack and his as I took my hair down, I brushed through it with a hairbrush carefully.

I parted my hair down the middle. Lawson took his shirt off behind me and then came in and put the white cotton shirt he originally had on as well as his black leather jacket, he grabbed his jeans and left the closet to take off his gray pants and put on his light blue jeans.

I smirked and he put on his socks and shoes and we both gave each other a hug

“I don’t know what’s about to happen, but if it gets too extreme please forgive me” I spoke worried.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle” he said reassuringly.