Mr president, please love me

The breakup

I turn around and walk out. When I get to the living area I remember my bag and I back to pick it. I’m heartbroken beyond measure because I really love him. But I can’t forgive what he has just done to me. The betrayal.

As I climb the stairs I hear them arguing. “ What are you still doing here? I’m following my girlfriend and before I come back make sure you’re gone.” That is Jack’s voice. What a shameless being. I can’t believe I have been so blind to notice his character.

“ Don’t tell me you still want to follow her after she witnessed everything? Why don’t you go ahead and tell her it’s over a year you have had me behind her back? I have been warming your bed all this while. And you always say you love me.” I can’t believe this. He has been deceiving me for all this time? How can he compose himself around me without feeling guilty?

“Shut up. I don’t want to repeat myself. Leave before I come back. And never return.” Jack remarks.

“You are joking right? Don’t pretend to care about her just because she caught you cheating. You lied to her just to spend the weekend with me so please spare me …..” . She didn’t finish whatever she was saying because I walked in bend down, picked my purse and walked out as if they did exist.

I didn’t finish the stairs before hearing footsteps behind me. I walked ahead without care of whoever it was. All over a sudden my hand was grabbed forcing me to stop. The last person I wished to see stood there. Before me. I felt so much hostility towards him.

“Jane……” I didn’t give him a chance to speak. “Take your dirty hands off me jack. Don’t ever in your miserable life touch me again.” He looked surprised but at this point I didn’t care. He swallowed hard and turned his down while talking.

“I know you might not believe it but I love you. I’m sorry for everything I have done behind your back, I'm sure you heard her. I didn’t want to put you through things you weren’t willing to do. I looked for an alternative although wrong. Please let’s talk through this. I promise it won’t happen again.” He said in one breath.

How can an educated person be this dumb? “Of course it won’t happen again because we are over. We have dated for one year and months and you have been cheating for over a year Jack.” I shook my head in disappointment.

“ you are telling me to forgive you. Do you take me for a fool?. We were in a relationship for crying out loud. You never for once complained about our arrangement in the relationship. You accepted every condition I gave. But for what? For you to please me with your pretence?” I asked and he shifted his gaze to his toes drawing down corners of his mouth.

Of course he has nothing to say. What a hypocrite. “ If you had any issues concerning our relationship the best thing you could have done was to raise it up. I was even considering giving myself to you. I’m so disappointed in you. You have wasted my time and emotions”. Tears flowed from my eyes.

His face pales, he opens his mouth to say something but closes it. “ There is nothing to forgive you about. It’s your life. The only mistake you have made was to make me feel like we were on the same track while in reality you had diverted a long time ago. I wish you well. But I can’t take you back." I clearly stated

'When I said I didn’t want us to have s*x I wanted us to be sure we were compatible before getting to the next level. I didn’t want us to confuse lust and physical satisfaction with love. But all you cared about is that thing between your legs. You used it to think and it has landed us where we are today. It’s okay. I give up on this thing we call relationship. Never contact me and I will gladly do the same.”

I turn around to continue my journey when he hugs me from behind. “ I’m sorry but don’t do this. I don’t love that girl and she knows it is just an affair. She knows I have a girlfriend. She knows I love you Jane.” He is shaking I guess he is shading crocodile tears

“ I will never break your heart again. I’ll make it up to you for the rest of my life but don’t leave me. Don’t break me this way I beg you.”

What a narcissist. “ You don’t love her but you have been sleeping with her for the last one year. You love me but you lied about being out of town just to sleep with her?” I shake him off my body. I can’t help but look at him with disgust.

Is he nuts? Doesn't he have conscience? “ Are you sure that she doesn’t love you? Because talking from a ladies perspective unless she is a prostitute she can’t give her body casually without any feelings. Have you considered that you might be hurting two people with your stupidity or you just care about yourself?.” His eyes are wide. His eyes looking everywhere except at me. I knew he has used his head to think now.

I rolled my eyes at his behaviors. He only cares about himself. I can’t help but mock myself for being stupid.

“The person you need to talk to is inside your bedroom. We have nothing to talk about. We have nothing to work on and we as well have nothing to solve.” I take backward steps to walk out of this place. He lifts his hands to hold me but I shush him.

“ Wash your hands first before you touch me again.” I turn around and walk out.

It dawns on me that I have been single for a long time. I’m heartbroken. I walk without specific destination.

I have loved him. Is s*x everything in relationships? Why didn't he complain or reject me from the word go?

I miss my family. I wish they were here to comfort me. When I realize I have walked for a long distance I call for a taxi to take me home. I needed to sleep or at least talk to my friend.

The taxi guy notices I’m disturbed and talks to me. “ whatever it is miss take it easy. If you can’t change a situation you just accept and move on because life must continue no matter what.” I just nod trying not to be rude.

By the time I got home it was in the evening. The whole house was silent so I guess Stacy is not around. I decide to take shower and nap.

I couldn’t sleep. I turned over and over but nothing happened. I imagined two years taken for granted. I had met other guys but I rejected them for my so called boyfriend.

Life sometimes is unfair. And as the saying goes. “The one you love doesn’t love you. And the one they love doesn’t love them back and so on”. I feel like believing it.