My heart beats for you

You need to put yourself first…

Ruby

I sunk into the bed as I watched Asher walk out on me. He slammed the door really hard but I didn’t even blink. I guess my head was already getting used to this side of him… that side that treats me like I’m nothing but a placeholder in his life.

I stayed there in bed for a long time, indulging myself in my spiraling thoughts. It was my phone that jerked me back to reality when it started ringing.

I was even too lazy to roll over and answer it but the thought that it could be Asher calling gave me an instant rush of energy. I rolled over, grabbed the phone and saw Ava’s face lit up the screen.

For a second there, I almost didn’t answer it because I knew Ava so well. It would take a lot of effort to hide my feelings from her else, she’d see through me in an instant.

I cleared my throat and then sat up to prepare myself before I swiped the answer button.

“Heyy new bridey…” she exclaimed immediately.

“Heyy bestie.” I replied with a huge smile, trying to sound all good.

“Uhmm… I love that energy. I can already see that the honeymoon is going well. I’m so happy for you, sweetheart. I miss you though… I can’t wait for you to get back here so I can see you again.” She chimed in and I found myself back to before. The smile immediately wiped off my face as I remembered the reality I was in.

“I know right, I miss you so much too.” I replied, trying to bring back the enthusiasm, but it was already gone.

“Are you okay? You were sounding all good until I mentioned the honeymoon. What about Asher? Is he treating you well? And don’t you dare lie to me right now, you know there’s no way you can fool me.” She affirmed and that’s just the truth.

“What are you even saying right now? Of course, Asher is good and treating me well. How else will I be enjoying the honeymoon if he’s not good to me?” I quickly tried to clear, hoping she wouldn’t push further.

“I don’t believe you. You’re putting too much effort into defending him and that can only mean you’re lying.” She blurted and I managed to force out a laugh.

“Ohh please, you’re so overreacting right now. I’m all good. My husband and I are all good, and that’s enough about my marriage. It’s only been two days please.” I replied.

She wanted to say something but I quickly cut in.

“How are you?” I quizzed while she smirked.

“I see what you’re doing right now and just so you know, it’s not working but I’ll just let you have it your way.” She chimed in.

“Thank you and back to the question again. How are you?” I asked again.

“I’m good, just missing my best friend.” She replied.

We talked about other random things before I made up some excuse to get off the phone.

Once I dropped the phone, my smile vanished immediately and I was once again back to reality. I knew Ava would see through me but I was grateful that she didn’t try to force it.

She never liked Asher and had always warn me about him. She thinks he’s a bad choice for me but I wouldn’t listen to her. I was too in love to see not just the red flags but the huge red banner in front of me.

I sat there, wallowing in my own misery till I felt a stray tear roll down my face. I wiped it off and it was as if that was the key to the fountain. My hand had barely left my face when the tears came flooding and in no time, I was sobbing so hard. No matter how much I tried to stop it or wipe it, they kept coming and I just had to give in at a point.

It was the doorbell that suddenly brought me back to life. Knowing it was definitely Asher, I quickly wiped my face clean and rushed downstairs.

I wondered why he wouldn’t just come in but there was no time to start thinking. I pulled open the door and saw Ava standing there on the porch.

I expected her to say I told you so but she didn’t. She spread open her arms instead and without thinking twice, I crashed into her and started crying hard while she just held me there.

It took another few minutes for me to finally calm down and that was when Ava finally let go too.

“Let’s go in.” She said and then took my hand.

She shut the door and we both went upstairs into the room. I wanted to say something but she stopped me.

“Uhn uhn… you don’t need to tell me anything right now. All I want you to do is go into the bathroom and have a shower, then we go out.” She chimed in.

“But I already took my bath this morning.” I replied and she shushed me.

“You look like a mess so we’re going to have to go again.” She said gently and I didn’t bother question her again.

I just turned and went in there. I was out in a few minutes and on the bed was a dress she already picked out for me.

“Isn’t this a bit exposed? Asher won’t…”

“Don’t you dare mention that name around me right now? His mistress is all over town doing whatever she likes while his legal wife is trying so hard to get his attention. Get dressed and let’s move. He can go to hell for whatever I care!”

I slowly put on the dress while she quickly fixed my hair and face. We were out of the house soon and our ride was already waiting outside.

Throughout the drive, we didn’t say a word to each other and I just rested my head on her shoulder all the way.

The car pulled in front of our usual spa and we got off.

“How did you know I was lying about the honeymoon?” I asked.

“I think you’re forgetting that I know you too well. After your first response, I already knew you were lying so I called his office after the call and that was how I found out that no honeymoon was going on. At least, there’s no way you’re there alone and your precious husband is back to work just a day after your wedding!”

I couldn’t even say a word. I had nothing in me ao I just laid there in silence. By the time we were done, it was already time for lunch so we decided to get one at the new restaurant close by.

“It’s so nice here, I can finally understand the hype online.” I let out while Ava scanned the place with much satisfaction.

“I know right,” she chimed in.

We went over the menu and made our orders after which we were back to our usual chat. Ava knew exactly what I wanted, she prioritized my happiness over her victory. She could have rubbed it in my face but she didn’t. She wouldn’t even let me talk about Asher. She insisted that we were out for me and she wouldn’t let me make it about a man who is probably somewhere with his mistress enjoying. I wasn’t exactly comfortable with the way she kept nailing him but I couldn’t deny she was right.

“Thank you so much, Ava. I really needed this.” I finally chimed in while she smiled.

“I know right, what will you do without me? Absolutely nothing!” She teased and we both laughed it off.

“There’s a little exaggeration in there but you’re so right. I’m so happy to have you in my life. At least, you’re here to always remind me that I’m enough even though the one person…” I stopped when I saw her squeeze her face.

“And she’s back to making this about that man again… you really need to stop doing this to yourself, Ruby. You don’t even need me to remind you that you’re enough. You are enough now and always. To hell to any man who thinks otherwise. The day you start putting yourself first is the day you finally break free from his hold. Trust me, the scales over your eyes will fall off and you will finally see him for the fraud that he is…” She let out and was still going on but I was already lost at that point.

The scene in front of me was like a movie and I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. Right there in front of me was Asher in a private booth with Camilla looking like the world’s best couple…