Life saviour

Chapter fifteen - I prefer the benefits

Zoe's POV:

I have no idea what happened with Zach that night. I had to hide, but it was good. I know he wants more than the friendship. He has shown me this many times. I have to say he is good. It's visible I'm not his first. I might want that, too. It was my first time making out with someone in a bathroom. I can't go back there while he is grounded. He might get in trouble because of me. He doesn't mind, but I do. I want to see him often. This is why we are friends. I wish I could believe this. I started liking the benefits too much. There is something in the way he does it. No one has ever treated me this way. I like feeling important to someone. The question is for how long this can last. Zach and I are different. At the same time, I still want to keep him close. It's not like Ally and Ellie didn't ask me ten thousand questions about him. I didn't say anything. We are not dating. Part of me wish we were. It looks like this from the outside. I won't push my luck too hard. There is a chance this might ruin everything. I'll let him lead. That is, as long as he doesn't play with me. If this is the case, I'll leave. I don't have to deal with this. For some reason, I will still keep him around. Zach already won me. I hope that this won't be a game.

Every day became worse than the previous one. Mom is not helping me. Teachers keep telling me to study more. Everyone is pressuring me. I started arguing with my grandma as well. I need to calm myself, but it's hard. So many people rely on me. Only Zach has left. At least he doesn't want anything from me. For now. I shouldn't bother him with my problems, but he always knows what to say. Maybe I should say what to do. These were my best ones. I need to move on from this. There are better things in life.

I had breakfast at home. I checked my phone for messages. Nothing. He might still be sleeping. I won't wake him up. I went to school, and the girls came. I ignored them. I don't want any questions. My morning was already bad enough. I took my things and walked to class. They were in the same one. I sat next to Chris. We are not friends and don't talk. I know he won't ask anything. Ally and Ellie had to sit right behind us. I want them to leave me alone. It's not much to ask for.

- Hey. Don't worry. We won't ask anything about Zach. - Ally said

- Thank god.

- How are you? I see you are in a better mood.

- No, I'm a good actress. My mood is the same as usual.

- You can hang out with Zach. He can make you feel better.

- I know, but it's better if I don't do it.

- Why? Did something happen?

- No, but he can't solve my problems. I have to do this alone.

- I know you will say no, but you can study at home. - Ellie said

- Thanks, but there is no need for that.

- If you like him, I suggest you tell him. He won't wait forever.

- I don't like Zach!

- Are you sure? We saw that smile when we mentioned him. I think he likes you too. Otherwise, he wouldn't have come here to pick you up that day.

- He wasn't here for me.

- I think he was. - Ally said

- Can we not talk about him? We are only friends.

- Do you believe it? Be honest.

- Fine. Friends with benefits. - I said, whispering

- What? What are the benefits?

- This is private.

- But.

- I prefer the benefits.

- You like Zach! Admit it. Right now. - Ellie said

- I don't know. I have other things to worry about.

- Zach is cute. If you don't take him, I might try.

- Good luck. He is so picky.

- I don't mind. I'm sure I can offer him something.

- Like what? You don't know his standards.

- You can tell me what they are. I'm sure you have explored that.

- Eww. Gross. I haven't done it, and I won't do it.

- There is time for everything, miss.

- At least say he is a good kisser. - Ally said

- I won't say anything because the teacher will come. I'll talk to you after class.

- Does he have a hot friend?

- I don't know, and I don't care.

- Send him greetings from us.

- I won't. Nice try. - I said

This is why I don't share what Zach and I are doing. Some things are private. Also, these girls have big imaginations. Not everything happens the way it's described in the books. After my last class, I went home. Mom was on the couch again. This time, I'll ignore her and study. I keep saying this. That lasted an hour. I heard some noises and went to check on her. Why the heck is she watching this? I know she is an adult, but it's weird in her state. I took the remote and turned it off.

- Hey, give it back!

- I have to study. Put on headphones or move out.

- You should do it. I'm tired of your behavior.

- Oh, my behavior? Look at yourself. At least find someone to do this to you.

- Why?

- You look desperate. Also, I can't concentrate.

- Go to your grandparents' house.

- If I leave you alone, god knows what you will do.

- Nothing. I'll do this in peace.

- Maybe if you care for yourself, someone will ask you out.

- Why should I do that? I'm happy that way.

- You don't do anything all the time.

- It's better than lecturing someone. Won't you leave? I have things to do.

- Lower the volume.

- No!

- Lower the f***ing volume!

- I said no! Leave!

- Mom, if you don't do it, I'll take care. You won't like the consequences.

- Go to study and leave me alone.

- Good. The remote is coming with me.

- Oh, no. You will give me that. - she said and snatched it from my hand

- Hey! Volume down.

- No.

- You are acting like a kid. If you don't do it, I'll sell the TV. Let's see what you will do, then.

- You can't do that.

- Yes, I can because I'm tired of you.

- Move out then. I have told you this many times.

- You should do it.

- No. Now go away and leave me alone.

I didn't say anything. If grandma is here, she will defend my mom. I don't know what is going on with her. Lately, she took my mom's side. I understand she is a parent, but there are some lines that my mom shouldn't cross. My patience is not that big. I tried to study for as long as possible. I put my headphones on. It didn't work much. I decided to go out. I saw Zach with one of his friends. It's better if I don't bother him. I don't know what he has told them.

- Hey, I'm here.

- I know.

- Won't you greet me?

- You have company.

- Relax. He knows everything. That is the only person from who I don't hide.

- Hi, Zoe. I'm Jake.

- Hey.

- Are you ok? You look like something ran over you. - Zach said, chuckling

- It's not funny. I feel this way.

- What happened? Your mom?

- Yes. I can't stand her anymore. She is driving me crazy.

- Can I help you?

- No. She turned the TV to max volume, watching other people making out. It's disgusting.

- Maybe she needs that.

- I told her to find a date so she doesn't look desperate.

- You are mad.

- Don't tell. I tried to study, but it didn't help.

- Why don't you try your grandparents' house?

- I can't. I will think about her and what she can do to the house. I have to clean up after her.

- Why are you her babysitter? - Jake asked

- No one else will do it. If I let her do whatever she wants, the house will be nasty. I don't want to live like that.

- You know, some centers take care of such people.

- If grandma hears this, she will kill me.

- But you have to think about yourself. You are too young to waste your days like that.

- I'm used to this. It doesn't matter anymore.

- I'm sure Zach can do something about this.

- Heck no! I don't have time.

- Come on. Live for once.

- I can't.

- Sad. We can take you out tonight if you want.

- I would love to, but I have other plans.

- I'll take care of this.

I have no idea what Zach did, but he convinced me. I always fall for his words. He has the power to make me do whatever he says. I don't know if he is doing this on purpose. We went for dinner at a cheap restaurant. The boys said they would pay for my food. I appreciate it, but I'm not homeless. Well, they insisted. Jake told me about his girlfriend. I didn't know he had one. She looks like a nice girl. I haven't met her, but he is melting talking about her.

- Is she miss perfect? - I asked, and he laughed

- Maybe. She is for me.

- I can tell. Now I want to meet her.

- Me too. I don't know if she will come home.

- You can't hide her for long. Your friends will find out.

- I know, but I should talk with Dylan. Something is going on with him.

- If you want, I can do it.

- Why?

- Because I'm a girl. Who knows? He might have what to share.

- I prefer it if he doesn't know about you. - Zach said

- Why? We are not dating.

- Yes, but he will get mad at me for keeping you.

- Zach, I'm not an object. Keep it if you like it. Throw it if you don't.

- It's not like that.

- Really? This is how it sounds to me.

- I don't want you to argue with him.

- I won't. This will be a casual conversation. That's it.

- We wish you luck. Hopefully, you can do this. - Jake said

- I'll try. I can't guarantee anything.

- Where do you want us to go next?

- I have to go home.

- Do you want to go home?

- No.

- Zach, do you remember that place?

- No, no, and no. I'm not going back there. This is for my past self.

- What is going on here?

- Then where should we take her?

- Anywhere else, but not there.

- Fine.

- Won't someone tell me about this place?

- Zach had.

- Shut up! No one will know about this. You promise not to talk about this.

- Yes, but.

- No buts. That's it. Final word.

- I'm sorry. A promise is a promise.

- Sure. - I said

I spent the rest of the night with the boys. They know how to have fun. Maybe I should go out with them more often. The problem is that I don't want to leave my mom at home alone for too long. She takes something and leaves it wherever she wants. Then, someone else has to pick it up after her. She stinks as well. I kept telling her to take care of herself. According to her, there is no need to take care of her since she doesn't go out. I don't think the same as her, but I'm powerless. My words are not helping me. Arguing with her won't do me a favor. I hope that she will change.