Life saviour

Chapter thirteen - It's not a friendship anymore

Zoe's POV:

Zach came to visit me a few days ago. I shouldn't care about this that much. It made me feel better. No one has ever shown so much care about me. I feel important. I don't know if we can have something, but I can try. I might not have a second chance. It doesn't mean I will push my luck. These things happen naturally. The other thing is that I have heard what some high school relationships look like. All I will say is that some people are disgusting. Maybe I am the odd one. I'm trying to be like the rest of the girls. It's not like this is working. That's why I have too many problems at home. Something crossed my mind the other day, but I quickly pushed this thought away. He might think about something else. I wanted to invite Zach for a sleepover, but I didn't. I know how boys work. He will think we'll do something. It won't be true. I like spending time with him. That's it. We made out once. It doesn't mean we'll do it again. I won't lie. Part of me wants to do it again. It felt good to be myself for once. After all, I'm only a teenager. I don't want to be a babysitter all the time. Mom is old enough to take care of herself. The problem is that she doesn't want to do it. I might invite him to the slumber party. I don't care what happens. I hope that things won't go in the wrong direction.

I can't stop thinking about Zach. He sent me a message yesterday. I believe this was a mistake. I mean, he didn't mean to send it to me. I never thought I would hear such a thing from him. I have no idea how to react. That was when I got brave. I texted him back and invited him for a sleepover. It might be a mistake, but I don't care. I want to live a little. Not the whole world spins around my mom. He didn't reply to my message. I will take this as a no.

Currently, I'm in school. It's not like I can concentrate. I want to believe this message for me, but I can't. Last night, I couldn't sleep much. Mom was watching a show and yelling at the actors. I can stay with my grandparents. Well, I don't want to move out. I'm not ready for this. I have this message memorized. We have to talk about this. After my class, I went to my locker. Ally and Ellie came. I don't talk much with people, but I don't mind doing it. My mind is already somewhere else.

- Zoe, are you ok? What is going on? - Ally asked

- What?

- Are you here? Your head is somewhere else.

- I'm sorry. I have been thinking about something.

- Something or someone? - Ellie asked

- Something. I don't have time for boys.

- I still think you miss Zach more than you'll admit.

- Why would I miss him? He used to make fun of me daily.

- But there was something more to it. You weren't the only girl he did this to. Again, it was different with you.

- I'm glad that he is not here anymore. - I said and bit my lip

- Did something happen between you two?

- When?

- That's what I expect you to tell me. You bit your lip.

- I had crumbs from my breakfast.

- Zoe, you are a terrible liar.

- Miss Smith, we need to talk. - miss Paterson said

- Yes. You can say it here.

- I graded your last test. I suggest you start studying if you don't want to fail.

- I'm trying.

- It's not enough. Try harder.

- You have no idea what it's like being in my shoes.

- Many teachers will say the same. You went from a straight-A student to a failure.

- Don't tell her that. - Ally said

- It's true. Cut off the boys and start studying.

- I wish it had been because of a boy. At least I would've been happy. - I said, and she left

- Zoe, what is going on? We only want to help you.

- You can't. I have problems at home. I have to go.

- You can always talk with your parents.

- They are divorced, ok? - I said louder than I should

- It doesn't mean you should ignore them.

- I don't expect you to understand.

- We can talk.

- Thanks, but I don't want to discuss my life with anyone here.

- Ally and I can help you. - Ellie said

- I said no! Please leave me alone and do something else.

- We'll be here if you need us.

My grades are dropping. I know that. I don't need teachers to keep reminding me of this every day. I can't concentrate, and that's it. The only place I haven't studied is Zach's house. I don't think he will let me in. I believe his parents have no idea who I am. That way is better. I don't want to mess with them. I already have enough problems. After school, I went to his house. He still hasn't replied to my message. I want him to stay at home for the night. Nothing will happen. I only need some company.

- Zoe? What are you doing here?

- We need to talk. I want the truth.

- What are you talking about? I don't have much time now.

- I don't care. We have to talk.

- Come in, but be quick. - he said, worried

- Are you ok? You look bothered that I'm here.

- I didn't expect you to come.

- I texted you, but you didn't answer. Will you come home tonight?

- No.

- Why not? We won't do anything.

- I said no.

- Can't you explain?

- No. You have to go home. I don't have time for this.

- What? But Zach.

- Please, Zoe. I can't tell you anything. Leave.

- Not without a proper explanation. I know you don't mean this. What is going on?

- Nothing. Can you leave?

- I'm not leaving. I want to spend some time with my friend. Is it that bad?

- Yes.

- What?

- You have to go.

- Do your parents know about me?

- No, I haven't told them.

- Then? I won't go away until you don't tell me.

- Please. I will tell you, but it won't be now.

- One question, and I'll go.

- Sure.

- Be honest. Do you want to come home tonight? Yes or no?

- No.

- Fine. You won't see me again. I hope you find new friends. - I said and left

I felt the tears, but I blinked a couple of times to let them go away. I can't believe that he cut me off. I thought that we were getting close. Maybe all this was a game. I don't know why I care about this so much. At least I know one thing. It's not a friendship anymore. I have lost friends before. It didn't hurt me that much. I went home and laid on the bed. Later, I went to check on my mom. She won't help me, but I have no one to talk to.

- Mom, can we talk about something?

- Whatever.

- I asked someone to come over, but they rejected me. What should I do?

- Don't invite them. Simple.

- It's not that simple. I like them.

- Now you know why I don't date. The men are all the same.

- That is not true. Some boys are nice to me.

- Are you sure?

- Yes. I know something is going on with him. Otherwise, he wouldn't cut me off.

- Why are you here?

- Because I have no one else to talk to. Can't you at least listen to me?

- For what?

- Mom! You are the only person here.

- That fault that you don't have friends is not mine.

- It's because of you. I don't have a social life because I have to take care of you.

- I didn't make you do it. That was your choice.

- You are impossible. Why can't you be the mother every kid wants to have?

- I am a mother.

- Yes, but not a proper one. I would love to have one of these mother-daughter conversations with you.

- Talk with your grandma about this. I don't have time.

- You don't do anything. At least get up from the bed and shower. How many times do I have to tell you this?

- Stop repeating this!

- I won't until you don't do it.

- Get out and do something.

- You are terrible. I don't know why I chose to stay with you. It was a mistake. - I said and went to my room

I tried to study. At least I did some of my homework. It's probably wrong, but I don't care. My grades can't get worse. Studying is the last thing on my mind. If I don't fix this, the principal will want to speak with my parents. Mom can't do this. I have no idea where my dad is. Grandma can't find out about this. She is worried enough for my mom. Around dinnertime, there was a knock on the door. I don't think this one is for my mom. Maybe my grandparents want to have dinner with us.

- Hey.

- Zach? What are you doing here?

- Is the offer still available?

- What?

- I'm sorry about cutting you off. I didn't want to do it.

- But you did.

- I know. Can you forgive me?

- I don't know. Can I?

- Please. I'll do anything.

- Fine. Come in.

- Thanks. I won't do this again. I promise.

- Can I know why you did it?

- I had to make a choice. It didn't work out.

- I see.

- What have you planned for the night?

- Nothing. I tried to study, but it didn't work out.

- I'm sure you will ace the school.

- That was before. My grades are terrible.

- All B's. - he said, chuckling

- All D's.

- What? That is impossible. You are the cleverest person I know.

- Studying became a struggle. Let's go to my room.

- How are you feeling today?

- How should I? The only friend I have cut me off.

- I'm so sorry. It will never happen again. I promise. - he said and moved closer

- Can I trust you?

- Yes, you can. Also, we are not friends.

- Why?

- Because I don't know if I can survive this. Keeping it friendly won't work for me. - he said, chuckling

- Then what?

- Friends with benefits?

- I can work this out. If you do something and leave me alone, it's over.

- Deal. I promise to keep you safe and not to hurt you. Never.

- I'll believe it when I see it.

- Ok, why not?

- Zach?

- Yes.

- Thank you. For coming here and for not leaving me.

- I will never do that. You mean a lot more than I'll admit.

- Why?

- I don't know. Accept it.

- I'll trust you on this one. I hope you won't betray me.

- I won't do that. I promise.

The small conversation soon turned into a kiss. We are not friends. That is for sure. I don't know what will happen, but I'll try. Maybe something good will come out of this. I haven't planned anything about dating. I'll use the chance. I don't know if I will have another one. Zach is not who I thought he was. He has changed a lot in the past few months. I'm not sure if it's because of me. Well, I like him this way. The question is about how long he can stay that way. It's visible that this is hard for him. He has never been a good guy for someone. I hope that we can last for a longer time.