Amongst it all

Chapter 1-Camilla

Love is overrated. It only ends in you getting hurt, making you weak and vulnerable. And let me tell you, this world is a cruel place for the weak; it will eat those people alive. You can call me what you like, cold, stupid, broken, but honestly, I couldn't give two shits, at least I know how to survive. Those foolish enough to believe in Happily Ever afters will end up hurt, bearing the scars this brutal world will leave. Feelings of love only blind people, and when you are blinded, you are unable to see, unable to see the bigger picture and the evils that lurk in the darkness of the shadows, will come out and haunt you. 

People have told me that I have built my walls too high, and maybe they are right, but at least I know no one can get in. Once you let someone in, you no longer have control. That person holds a power of you, and at any given moment, they can shadow your heart into tiny little pieces, leaving you to glue them back together again. That's why my walls are so high. Nothing can pull me down, nor can anyone hurt me again. I refused to walk into another disaster because I don't think my heart could ever recover again.

-3 years ago-

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I gaze out the window waiting impatiently for his arrival, my best friend, my whole world and also, my big brother. After I was broken time and time again he was the one who held me, who wiped those tears away, he was the one who took those broken pieces and put them back together. And for the first time in 5 years, he was really coming home. 

Sitting there waiting was probably one of the hardest things I had to do because all I could think about was his arrival; this was the best moment of my life. However, on top of all the excitement, fear also was coursing through my veins. He called me every week for the past 5 years but this month, it was different. Was he alright? Was he coming tonight? Maybe something bad has happened to him. No matter how hard I tried to keep my mind from becoming an emotional mess, my worrying thoughts overpowered me. It was as if my mind was consuming my every happy thought. The only thing that would make these words disappear was to see my brother walk through those doors, safe and sound.

An hour had passed before the bright lights of a taxi turned into my driveway. Without seeing the face that hid behind the tinted windows, I knew exactly who it was I jumped off my bed sprinting out the front door to greet him. As he turned to shut the door of the cab, I jumped on his back causing him to stumble forward into the yellow car. 

"Someone's excited to see me" Mason laughed.

"Well duh! What did you expect, you're finally home!" I shrieked. "Took you long enough."

"I tried to get here sooner and Milla. There was a delay in my flight." Mason answered.

"Alright, I guess I can forgive you... just don't make it a habit." I giggled.

It was funny because no matter how long and how far you have been away from someone you loved, someone who truly gets you, it feels like nothing it's changed, even when everything around you tells you otherwise. My brother and I have always been close, telling each other everything, and no matter what happened, I knew he would always be there for me and me for him.

"How have you been Milla? It seems like an eternity since we last saw each other."He asked.

"I've been good, but… we have some serious catching up to do. But that can wait, Mum and Dad are waiting for us." I replied.

I felt like a giddy school-girl seeing her best friend after the long summer holidays.

On the way to the kitchen, excitement ran through my veins, my head spun as it ran around in circles. But shortly after entering the kitchen, all excitement was drained. Of course, they were fighting, it was like all Mum and Dad knew how to do was argue. 

"... fault? You're the one who didn't tell me." Dad roared. 

"It's not my f*****g fault that you were being a f*****g arsehole, John!" Mum yelled. "You were the one who wouldn't listen!" 

"f*****g hell Tina, Mason will be here any minute, so can we please just put this aside for now," Dad said.

" Mum! Dad! It's too late." I sighed. "Mace is already here." 

I was fed up with all the constant arguing. What happened to them? They used to be so happy, so in love. I guess 'death do us apart' doesn't actually mean anything.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, your Mum and I were… were just trying to sort things out," Dad replied as he had the papers in the top drawer. Ignoring it I just rolled my eyes "And Mason how is the college life in the States treating you?" 

"Pretty good actually." He replied "but I've missed you like crazy" 

"We have too." Mum sai., "Not a day went by where we wished you were here."

How could everyone act as if nothing happened, as if divorce papers weren't in the hands of my father minutes before? I swear every time they were in public, or whenever Mason called they would put on a fake smile and act like the picture-perfect family seen in movies. But when the doors were closed, the tension between them only intensified.

"Oh and Milla, I have a letter of acceptance for you to join me at the university in New York," Mason said. 

"When did you apply for that Cammi?" Dad said

"And when were you going to tell us?" Mum asked 

I shrugged not in the mood for speaking, I just was just hoping they wouldn't be too mad. I guess it succeeded as they left it.

We talked for an hour asking how Mason was and what he got up to. He told us about his girlfriend named Alice. She was apparently a 5 foot 8 brunette with green eyes and was slightly tanned. I can tell you right now, it was definitely not his usual type, but by the sparkle in his eyes and the way he spoke so fondly of her, I could tell he was smitten over the girl. He also told us about his best friend Julian. Julian was an Italian just like us and he had apparently moved to America when he was 5. They met at a college party and have been best friends ever since. It was nice talking as a family for once without any bickering; it felt as though things could go back to normal. But who was I kidding, it will never go back to what it was. I just had to enjoy it while it lasts.

Afterwards when we finished catching up, Mum and Dad decided that they needed to get something for dinner. In other words, they didn't want Mason or I to hear what they were going to talk about. 

A couple of hours later and Mum and Dad were still out.

"Mace, have you heard anything from Mum and Dad yet?" I asked. 

" I have n-" Mason answered. 

Just as Mason I was about to finish answering my phone started to ring. Maybe that was them, they probably were on their way home, but what if something happened to them? As I reached for my phone my heart stopped; it wasn't them.

"Hello... yes this is her... a-are you sure?... I understand we will be on our way."

" Mason, we need to leave." I cried. 

"Why, what's happening Camilla?" 

" I'll tell you on our way." 

-20 minutes later-

" Camilla, you can't park there, that's for emergency vehicles only!" 

"Agh! I-I just need to see th-them," I stuttered. "I ne-ed to know that th-ey are going t-to be ok." 

… 

We both entered the engines of the emergency room, unsure what to expect.

"They are going to be ok Mils" Mason attempted to comfort me. I nodded, although deep down inside, I felt like nothing was going to be with the same, that they weren't ok. I know, I should have a little more faith in them; I shouldn't be so pessimistic, but how can I when both my parents are in a hospital bed probably fighting for their lives.

"... right this way Sir." One of the nurses said. 

"Mace what's happening?" 

"I'm not sure, they haven't told me yet." 

As if listening in to our conversation, a doctor came up and asked, "are you, Camilla Moretti?" 

"I am a-and this is my brother." 

"What I'm about to tell you may be difficult for you to digest, but I need you to be calm." I nodded and then he continued. "you parents, both of them were involved in a severe car accident. They are both very lucky to be alive right now. But you must be aware that they are in critical condition." 

"What do you mean critical condition? you have to save them." I cried. "I can't deal if they are dead." This time my voice came out as a soft whisper.

"We're doing all we can to save them." The doctor confirmed. "But I can't promise that they will be the same if they survive." 

The doctor, after about 3 hours suggested we go home and take a much-needed rest. But how the hell can I relax and leave my poor parents on their own. Nothing and no one was going to remove me from my seat right in front of their rooms.

…

I must have drifted to sleep because when I open my eyes an alarm coming from my father's room headset off, and doctors and nurses or like we're rushing into his room. I wasn't sure what was going on, they wouldn't tell me. All I could do was anxiously wait.

A few hours later, a doctor came up to us and told us the news

"I am Dr Reed, the doctor who is in charge of taking care of your parents. I have come to tell you the news about your father." Dr Reed said. "Our doctors and nurses did everything they could-"

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

"Milla, let him finish. Mason softly whispered solo that only I could hear.

" Camilla and Mason, and dearly sorry for your loss."

"No, no, no, no. H-e c-ca-nt, he can't be-" 

"Shh Milla. It's going to be OK." 

Where is this happening question mark why was the world so against me? Just when I thought things were starting to get better karma something you would happen, saying that would tear my already broken heart in half. This couldn't be happening, could it? Maybe I was dreaming. Yeah, that made sense. When I wake up the next morning everything would be-

A few minutes later, a low beeping sound snapped me back to reality. I was not dreaming, my father was gone and my mum, she was fighting for her life. No one knew if she would make it or if she'd end up with my father.

A nurse ran from my mother's room to a nearby doctor.

"Doc… lost… Etti." was all I could make out of the muffled voice of the nurse. Please just let my mother be alright, she has to right? I don't know what I'd do if I lost my mother too. 

Lost in my own thoughts I felt a pair of familiar arms pull me against their body.

"Whatever happens Milla, everything will turn OK eventually," Mason whispered into my ear. I nodded in response as I nuzzled my head deep into his chest.

"I love you Milla and I won't let anything bad happen to you." 

" I love you too Mace," I whispered.

But how could he do that when I was already in pain, he couldn't possibly take away my pain; that'd be impossible.

… 

"Camilla and Mason, I come with a heavy heart, sorry I have to deliver this tragic news." The doctor began. "Your mother was unable to make it. I'm dearly sorry that you had to endure the passing of both your parents in the same night. If you need anything we are happy to help." 

The room began to spin, my head was heavy and sweat began to form all over my body. How could this be possible? Twenty-four hours ago the only thing on my mind was my brother and whether he would make it to dinner. And now I sat in the hospital room my mother occupied. Everything seemed like it was going in slow motion. Everything seemed duller and every voice that could be heard was muffled out. I was left in this world without my parents. Yes, they weren’t perfect. Yes, they would fight, but nobody was perfect. Why did this have to happen to me? It just wasn't fair. Nothing would ever be the same. All I could do was put a brave face on, plaster a smile and pretend everything was ok. Life went on, no matter how badly I wanted it to stop, I knew I had to keep going forward. Maybe if I shut people out, I could save my heart from the constant tragedy that seemed to constantly follow me