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1862 Words
“You don’t like takeoffs?” he asks. “Do I look like I like takeoffs?” I wince as I hang on for dear life. “I love them,” he replies casually. “I love the feeling of power as it surges forward. That g-force throwback.” Okay . . . why is everything coming out of his mouth sounding s****l? God, I need to get laid . . . stat. I exhale and stare out the window as we go higher and higher. I don’t have the energy for this guy to play cute today. I’m tired, I’m hungover, I look crappy, and my ex is a douche. I want to go to sleep and wake up next year. I decide I’ll watch a movie. I begin to flick through the choices on the screen in front of me. He leans over and says, “Great minds think alike. I’m watching a movie too.” I fake a smile. Just stop being all hot and in my space. You’re probably married to a vegan yoga nut who does meditation and s**t. “Great,” I mutter deadpan. I should have flown coach; at least I wouldn’t have had to inhale the scent of beautiful man for eight long, sexless hours. I scroll through my screen and then narrow it down to my choices. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Pride and Prejudice. The Heat. Jumanji . . . well, that has the Rock in it—it has to be good. Notting Hill. The Proposal. 50 First Dates. Bridget Jones’s Diary. Pretty Woman. Sleepless in Seattle. Magic Mike XXL. I smile at the choices, all of my favorites lined in a row; this flight is going to be a dream. I haven’t seen the sequel to Magic Mike yet, so I might start with that one. I glance over to look at what Jim has picked, and I see the heading come up. Lincoln. Ugh . . . a political movie. Who watches that stuff for fun? I should have known he’d be boring. He reaches up and taps the screen, and I catch sight of his watch. A chunky silver Rolex. Ugh, and he has money too. Typical. “What are you going to watch?” he asks. Oh no . . . I don’t want to appear ditzy. “I’m not sure yet,” I reply. Damn you . . . I want to watch men strip. “What are you watching?” I ask. “Lincoln. I’ve been meaning to see it for a long time.” “Sounds boring,” I say. He smiles at my answer. “I’ll let you know.” He puts his earphones on and begins to watch his movie, and I scroll through my choices again. I really want to watch Magic Mike XXL. Does it matter if he sees? No . . . that’s just embarrassing. It makes me look desperate. Who am I kidding? I am desperate. I haven’t seen a d**k in over a year. I tap on The Proposal. I’ll swap one fantasy for another. I’ve always dreamed of having Ryan Reynolds as my personal assistant. The movie begins, and I smile at the screen. I love this movie. No matter how many times I watch it, I always laugh. Gammy is my favorite. “You’re watching a romance?” he asks. “A rom-com,” I reply. For God’s sake, this guy is nosy. He smirks as if he’s better than me. “More champagne?” the flight attendant asks. Blue Eyes looks over at me. “Here’s your chance to order for us.” I stare at him flatly; all right, he’s beginning to piss me off now. “We’ll have two, please.” “What do you like about rom-coms?” he asks as he keeps his eyes on the screen in front of him. “Men who don’t talk during movies,” I whisper into my champagne glass. He smiles broadly to himself. “What do you like about . . .” I pause because I don’t even know what Lincoln is about. “Political films?” I ask. “The fact that they’re boring as all hell?” “I just like true stories, regardless of what they are.” “So do I,” I reply. “That’s why I like romance. Love is true.” He chuckles into his glass as if amused. I glance over at him. “What does that mean?” “Rom-coms are as far from reality as you can get. I bet you’re the type who reads trashy romance novels too.” I stare at him flatly. I think I hate this man. “I am, actually . . . and if you must know, I’m watching Magic Mike XXL after this so I can watch gorgeous men take their clothes off.” I sip my champagne in annoyance. “And I’ll smile through the whole damn thing, regardless of your snooty judgment.” He laughs out loud, and it’s deep and strong and does things to my stomach. I put my headphones back on and pretend to focus on my screen. I can’t, though, because I just totally embarrassed myself, and I can feel myself blushing. Stop talking. Two hours later, I sit and stare out the window. My movie is over, but his scent is not. It’s surrounding me, taunting me with things that I shouldn’t be thinking about. How does he smell so good? Unsure what to do without seeming awkward, I decide I’ll take a nap, try to sleep through the next few hours, but first I need to go to the bathroom. I stand. “Excuse me.” He moves his legs a little but not enough for me to fit through, and I have to lean over him to get past. I stumble and fall and put my hand on his thigh; it’s large and hard to my touch. “I’m so sorry,” I stammer, embarrassed. “That’s fine.” He smirks up at me. “More than fine.” I stare at him for a moment. Huh? “There’s a method to my madness.” I frown. What does that mean? I make my way past him and go to the bathroom, and then I walk around and stretch my legs a little as I ponder that statement. I’m stumped—I’ve got nothing. “What did you mean by that?” I ask as I fall back into my seat. “Nothing.” “Did you give me the window seat so I would have to climb over you?” He tilts his head to the side. “No, I gave you the window seat because you wanted it. Climbing over me was just an added bonus.” I stare at him as I struggle to respond. Am I imagining this? Older rich guys don’t usually speak to me like this . . . at all. “Are you flirting with me, Jim?” I ask. He gives me a slow, sexy smile. “I don’t know. Am I?” “I asked you first, and don’t answer my question with a question.” He smirks as he turns his attention back to the television screen. “This is probably where you should start flirting back . . . Emily.” I feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment as I try to hide my stupid smile. “I don’t flirt. I either want a man or I don’t,” I announce. “Is that so?” he says as if fascinated. “And how long after you meet a man do you make that decision?” “Instantaneously,” I lie. That’s not true, but I’ll pretend. Faking confidence is my superpower. “Really?” he whispers as the flight attendant walks past us. “Excuse me, can we have two more champagnes, please?” he asks her. “Of course, sir.” His eyes come back to meet mine. “Well, do tell. What was your first impression of me?” I pretend to look around for Jessica the flight attendant. “You may need something stronger to drink to hear this, Jim. You’re not going to like it.” He laughs out loud, and I find myself smiling broadly as I watch him. “What’s funny?” I ask. “You are.” “Why am I funny?” I frown. “This sense of righteousness that you have.” “Oh, like you don’t have that too . . . Mr. I’ll Have Two Champagnes.” Our drinks arrive, and he smiles as he passes mine to me. His eyes linger on my face as he takes a sip. “What were you doing in London?” “Ugh.” I roll my eyes. “I flew over for a friend’s wedding, and to be honest, I wish I hadn’t gone.” “Why not?” “My ex was there with his new squeeze, and he was being over-the-top affectionate with her to piss me off.” “Which worked, obviously,” he adds as he tilts his glass toward me. “Hmm.” I sip my drink in disgust. “Just a little.” “What did she look like?” “Long bleached-blonde hair and huge silicone lips and boobs and eyelashes and fake tan and everything I’m not.” “Hmm.” He listens intently. “Like Backseat Barbie on crack.” He chuckles. “Everyone loves a Backseat Barbie.” I look over at him in disgust. “This is probably where you should tell me that all men hate Backseat Barbies, Jim. Don’t you know anything about polite plane-conversation etiquette?” “Obviously not.” He frowns as he considers my statement. “Why would I do that?” I widen my eyes to accentuate my point. “To be nice.” “Oh, right.” He frowns as if bracing himself to lie. “Emily . . . all men are repulsed by Backseat Barbies.” I smile as I tip my glass to him. “Thank you, Jim.” “Although . . .” He pauses for a moment. “If they give good head . . .” What the hell? I snort my champagne up my nose and choke. That’s the last thing I ever expected to hear come out of his mouth. “Jim,” I splutter as it sprays everywhere. He laughs as he grabs his napkins and hands them over, and I wipe the drink dribbling from my chin. “Men who look like you are not supposed to talk about head.” I cough. “Why not?” he asks incredulously. “And what do you mean, men who look like me?” “All serious and stuff.” He looks at me deadpan. “Define stuff.” “You know, older, rich, and bossy.” His eyes dance with delight. “And what gives you the impression that I’m rich and bossy?”
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