I Stopped Being A Coward, I Rule Now

Chapter 2

Sebastian looked up and met my eyes, and the smile vanished from his face at once.

"Tessa, knock it off. We'll talk when I get back!"

After the dive, they stopped me outside my building.

My mother happened to be on her way out, and the second she saw me, she frowned.

"What happened? You didn't have fun?"

Mila slipped her arm through my mother's and put on the kind of hurt expression that made adults melt.

"I took Tessa diving, and now she's saying I was making fun of her. She even said she wants to break off the engagement with Sebastian."

Sebastian stepped in right after her.

"If Tessa's afraid of water, that's fine. That doesn't change anything. But she can't just throw around something like calling off the wedding."

My mother's face darkened on the spot.

She grabbed my arm, and every word out of her mouth sounded like an accusation.

"You think marriage is some kind of game? You don't get to say you're not doing it and just walk away."

Her voice kept getting louder, and before long, a few neighbors started drifting over to watch.

The moment she realized people were listening, she leaned into it even harder.

"My daughter's been scared to get in the water her whole life. Sebastian and Mila were just trying to help her get over it, and this is how she repays them!"

Then she glared at me. "Go ask around and tell me how many grown women can't swim. Why are you the only one?"

I could feel the neighbors staring.

My face burned so badly it felt like I'd been slapped in front of everyone.

Sebastian took a step forward and half-shielded me with his body, like he was protecting me from something.

"It's okay. I don't mind what Tessa's like."

That should have calmed my mother down. Instead, it only made her angrier. She dragged me straight inside.

The second the door shut behind us, I burst into tears.

"Mom, I'm your daughter. Why do you always believe other people before you believe me?"

She let out a cold, contemptuous laugh.

"I gave birth to you. You think I don't know exactly what kind of person you are? Look at Mila. She can do anything right. You're just like your father, weak and useless!"

Every word landed like a nail.

'But Mom, everyone has something they're afraid of. Why wasn't I allowed to?'

When I was little, we didn't have much, but my mother was the kind of woman who cared more about dignity. The less we had, the more she cared what other people thought.

My father was quiet and soft-spoken, and she spent years tearing him down for it. She called him a loser every day, a man who couldn't make enough money to matter.

All the anger she had for him spilled onto me. As far back as I can remember, she was always forcing me into things, always pushing, always demanding.

When I was four, I choked on water in the bath. Instead of pulling me out, she shoved my head back under.

I swallowed mouthfuls of water. I came up coughing so hard I could barely breathe, and my throat burned raw. She yanked me upright and slapped me across the face.

That was when I started being afraid of water.

She never knew that she was the reason.

And I cared too much about her to ever say it out loud.

When I was eight, my father finally decided he wanted a divorce. He wanted out badly enough that he was willing to leave without even fighting for custody of me.

After that, I stopped daring to want anything.

I was terrified my mother would leave too.

Mila was different.

She knew how to charm people. She always said the right thing. People loved her.

My mother used to say, "If only Mila were my daughter."

Eventually, she stopped saying it like a joke. She made Mila her goddaughter.

That afternoon, she shoved me into my room and told me to think about what I'd done.

"If you leave Sebastian, who's ever going to marry you?"

Then she called Mila and Sebastian, and her whole voice softened so much it barely sounded like the same woman.

"Mila, sweetheart, I already yelled at Tessa. I'll make her apologize to both of you. Come over for dinner tonight, okay? I'll make honey-glazed ribs."

I stood with my back pressed against the bedroom door, wiped my face dry, and pulled out my phone. Then I called a friend, Oliver Harding.

"Is that teaching program in Africa still looking for people to go the day after tomorrow?"

"Are you serious? The conditions out there are brutal. Are you sure you can handle it?"

"I can."

"What about your engagement party? If your mom finds out, she's going to lose it."

I gripped my phone tighter until my fingers hurt.

"Oliver, I want to leave. I have to live for myself at least once."