My Lover or My Enemy

Him

    As I made eye contact with the wolf in front of me I felt his eyes pierce my soul. He was a very large, brown wolf with sky blue eyes. He may just be the best looking thing I ever laid eyes on. I should kill him after what his pack did to my brother. I should kill him for being on my territory. But staring into his eyes is all I can think about. 

    The wolf turned around and ran off into the woods. He let out a howl of pain as he ran. I stood there in the meadow alone again. I was confused why my body and mind betrayed me. An eye for an eye, a life for a life is my family motto and I just let the bastard go because he was beautiful. I laid back down in the grass, and howled and cried. I stayed there for two days before finally heading back into the village to prepare for my brothers funeral.     

    The first face I saw when I got home was my best friend, Matt. He came up to me and looked me up and down. "Jessie, I know you are hurting but you look like s**t and you stink. I am so sorry about your brother, but you must shower before the funeral. He would not want you to be seen like this."

    I stared at him. I knew he was right. We silently walked back to my house. He sat on the couch and I showered and changed. I was hating myself right now. It is the day of my brothers funeral and all I can think about is that dog and how handsome he was. I felt my n*****s tighten at the thought of him. 

    Why am I thinking about him in this way. He is nothing but an enemy. A threat to my family. I should be plotting his death, not getting turned on from thoughts of his looks. I slammed down my hair brush in frustration and stormed out the bathroom. I ignored Matt sitting on my couch and walked straight out the front door. 

    I hear Matt running behind me. I am not in the mood to talk to him. I am not in the mood to talk to anyone but my brother and since that was not going to happen I am just not going to talk. I have never been so confused in my life. I have always been able to kill, so what was different this time?  

    I made it through the funeral with minimal tears. I truly think I might be out of tears at this point. I felt numb as I laid a rose nest to his picture. Matt walked me home and I went in my room and went straight to bed. It was nice laying in my bed instead of the hard ground. I fell asleep very quickly and woke up when it was dark. I was very groggy but all I could see when I first opened my eyes was the beautiful blue eyes  saw in the woods. I quickly reached over and turned my lamp on. 

    When the light was on I realized it was just me in the room. I went over to my open window and looked out for several moments. Everything was still outside, not even the wind was blowing. I shut the window very easy so I wouldn't wake mom and dad. 

    As I made my way downstairs for a snack all I could think about was those eyes. Why am I seeing his eyes in my dreams? I cant stand thinking about him so much. I made a sandwich and realized how hungry I was. It was at that time I realized I had not eaten since before my brother died. "Maybe that is why I keep thinking about the dog in the woods. I am malnourished and my brain isn't properly functioning " I grumbled to no one. Deep down, I knew it was more than that.