Not Quite the Opposites (camren)

10 - Falling Further

Time is usually on a person's side. It mends broken hearts. It patches wounds. It allows for change and growth. It makes you forget. However, time is not always a friend. Fears could be magnified. Doubts could arise. Time might force you to see things clearly, even if you're purposely blinding yourself with what you think is right. But what if it makes you forget something that used to be so special to you; something that was supposed to be timeless?

I was not ready for that.

Meeting my friends' parents is one of my favorites. I have this natural tendency to get along with them given my relationship with my parents. I have been taught to be polite and respectful. If I don't get along with them, my parents always say it's not my fault.

Boyfriends' parents are different thought. Meeting Gavin's parents was exhilaratingly unnerving but I made it out with them probably loving me more than they love their son.

My parents have this thing about inviting my friends over to get to know them; scrutinize them probably and I knew which friends they'd love to see me with. I have been to the Hansen's, Hernandez's and Kordei-Hamilton's, and met the three pairs of parents responsible for my three wonderful friends. I have been to the Cabello's but I have not met her parents. They have been really busy and I wonder how Camila is ok with that.

"My parents want me to invite people over later. We do these things with the neighbors everywhere we go." I began as Camila, Dinah, Ally, Normani and I were huddled in our usual spot in the cafeteria during lunch on a Friday. "I have to invite my friends over."

I was facing Dinah while Normani was next to her; Ally was next to me and Camila, beautiful, beautiful Camila Cabello was between Dinah and I in her usual white plastic chair. All the girls seemed to be excited about it and before any of them could speak, a familiar voice appeared between Camila and I.

"Meeting your girlfriend's parents?" Jette sneered as she looked at Camila knowingly with that signature spiteful look of hers. She perched her hand on the tangerine table and leaned closer to my friend, her lips almost grazing the younger Latina's cheeks.

I didn't think much about what Jette had said. For some reason, I only thought about how it affected Camila and the people I was sitting with. They could feel it; they could feel the vile, despicable smoke that is coating Janette Zack. It wasn't just me.

Camila's eyes widened as Dinah could not even suppress her annoyance; curling her lip as her eyes narrowed in disgust. Normani's jaw dropped as Ally was just as frozen as I was. It was as if my heart had stopped contracting as it painfully plummeted down. Fear was evident in Camila's face and I rarely see that in her. Her eyes oozed with so much anxiety, even trauma that she did not even look at me, or anyone else for the matter.

I should have said something, but I couldn't. It was as if I physically couldn't. There was something holding me back. Thankfully, Dinah held on Camila's waist and pulled her close, narrowing her eyes at the blonde.

"What time should I be there, Lolo?" Jette shifted her gaze to me with that knowing look in her amber eyes. "I mean, we're friends, right?" And there it was, the cherry on top, she smiled so maliciously, I could almost feel my arm hair rise.

I cringed at how she pronounced the nickname yet tried to act as if nothing had affected me.

"Six." I answered simply as I forced a smile without looking straight into her irises.

"See you there, gorgeous." She mumbled with a smirk and leaned in and kissed my jaw, sending a spine tingling wave of dissatisfaction to my system.

I involuntarily shrugged as I tried to recover from the shock as I stared at a startled Camila. I've always been used to her standing her ground but Jette seems to throw her off and that left a significant ache in my heart. She has always been there for me and I could not even stand up to the blonde for her.

"Are you guys coming?" I queried as I looked around my silent friends.

Slowly but surely, everyone nodded; everyone but Camila. Her pretty brown eyes were glued on the orange table. I stretched my arm out and cupped her cheek, probing her to look at me. I caressed the smooth surface with my thumb and looked at her with all the love I could muster. It seemed as though my actions worked as she raised her eyes to meet mine.

"Camz, can you come?" I carefully asked her with a reassuring grin.

"Sure." She blandly said without bothering to fake a smile and that stung me like a hornet.

We recovered from the shock eventually but Camila had become quieter and more inquisitively wrapped in her thoughts that fascinate me to its core. But it wasn't just the fascination this time; I was worried that Jette had got into her like a poisonous serpent, slowly devouring her flesh and I could not live with that.

Later that day, I was standing in the middle of the kitchen, aimlessly watching my parents prepare food as I, too was wrapped in my own cocoon of thoughts. It was suffocating me but it seems as though thinking about Camila offered me relief. She didn't demand anything of me and I only have to work to be myself around her yet there was this cloud of smog that is somehow blocking the real her to shine through.

Cuban food swirled around my nostrils along with some other family favorites. My stomach churned. It felt as though it was being wrung out. I was beyond famished yet my appetite was failing me.

"Nugget, I hope this Camila girl is different from Jette." My mother spoke as she held onto a casserole of baked pasta. I had told my mother about the six people who would be joining us and like my father, she seems to be more interested in Camila than anyone else.

I furrowed my brows at her statement, curious yet surprised about the comment. "Why? What about Jette?"

"There's something in her..." She trailed off as she put the food on the kitchen island. She tapped her chin with her index finger as her eyes were fixated upward. "She doesn't seem nice." She cautiously stated; easing in the bigger bomb she was to unleash. "She seems...fake, actually."

I raised my brows, flabbergasted at my mother's words. My mouth gaped as I stood there, waiting for her to go on.

"I don't know if you know this but parents have a radar about their children's friends." My mother continued as she put her hands on her waist. "We easily spot the real ones from the fake ones."

I couldn't help but chuckle no matter how serious the conversation was. My mother was practically telling me one of my friends is bad for me in such a blatant way. I smirked as I spoke, "So, this is like a gay-dar, only like it's a radar that spots fake people?" I pursed my lips as I waited for her reaction. "Like a fake-dar?"

"Don't worry, mi amor. Camila seems to be a nice girl." My father interjected as he retrieved the casserole to put in the dining room table. "I've talked to her." He left as fast as he came.

"Now, I'm intrigued." My mother stated as she bobbed her brows at me with an unreadable expression across her features.

We were interrupted by the sound of the door bell. I was about to excuse myself from my mother when my father exclaimed, "I'll get it."

I tried speaking to Clara again but she was still; intently eavesdropping on the conversation by the door. I heard the creaking sound of the timber structure until a familiar husky voice mildly exploded, making my calm heart explode with glee.

"Hi Papa Mike." Camila merrily greeted, it was a sudden change from the person I had left in school only a few hours ago. Our free period wasn't as fun as it usually was. "Here, sir."

"Camila! Hija! Thank you." My father welcomed her with the same enthusiasm. "I'm glad you're here!"

The young Latina chuckled which made my heart beat erratically. I had genuinely missed it since she barely spoke. "Me, too, sir!"

"Oh my god." She muttered. There was an apparent alarm in her tone and I just wanted to pounce to the front door until she followed her statement with, "How rude of me. These are Normani, Dinah and that's Allyson."

The girls had greeted my father but were incredibly shy compared to Camila. There was a rustling noise and my mother could not contain her curiosity anymore. She rushed to the door and I was hot on her trail. My heart raced for two reasons, Camila being there and my mother's reaction to Camila.

As it turns out, the youngest Latina had brought some chicken enchiladas she made and the noise was from the aluminum foil she used to cover the dish with and my father was trying to grab a piece.

"Hello girls!" My mother said as we approached my four friends. "Welcome!"

And just like that, they all stiffened to which my father chuckled. Their eyes were so wide open that they were in serious danger of popping out. Everyone finds my mother intimidating. She just exudes confidence and professionalism that is hard to miss. Her head is always held high with an impeccably tall posture.

"Mom." I interjected, hoping to calm my anxious guests. "These are my friends; Ally, Dinah, Normani and Camila." I gestured with my open hand, directing my mother to each girl. I gave her a knowing look as soon as I pronounced the name of my good friend to which my mother grinned. "And ladies, my mother, Clara."

Out of the blue, Camila extended her arm out to shake my mother's hand. She is one polite person and I knew that my mother was warming up to her given the genuine smile on her lips.

"Ma'am." My closest friend stated with a shy grin. "It's so nice to finally meet you."

"Same here, nugget, same here." My mother held onto her hand but pulled my slim friend in for a hug.

It was beyond heartwarming and I was too exhilarated to find both my parents share my fondness for the younger girl. The rest of the girls had given my mother an embrace as well before I led them to the living room.

Slowly but surely, guests came and there was one specific person who was late. It was Jette and I was beginning to feel embarrassed to my parents. However, the little gathering progressed with her absence. It was not new to me when I found out Camila got along with our elderly neighbors. She was very caring, too caring for her own good.

After we had devoured the food, my parents dragged my siblings and I in a separate room in the middle of the merriment. My mother seemed to be incredibly excited while my father was quite a little anxious and the clashing of emotions led me to my own anxiety. It was suffocating me.

My mother took a deep breath as she leaned against the sink. My father stood next to her with crossed arms and a very disappointed look. I did not bother to look around to my siblings as I was too apprehensive, I started to unconsciously tap my foot.

"We're moving again." Clara slowly muttered but with a distinct smile that screamed excitement. She was never excited for these things. I was so confused.

"Where?" Us, all three Jauregui kids bellowed in unison. I wearily inspected everyone's reactions and my mother was the only one was quite calm about the situation. My father successfully cupped his entire face with his hands. Taylor's jaw dropped as Chris crossed his arms.

But for some reason, my mother beamed at me, smiling at me for something I don't know. "California, Lauren."

With her statement, she expected my furrowed brows, my gaped mouth, my bewildered eyes; my entire disheveled feature to go away. But it didn't. I was severely heartbroken despite the fact that I could spend a few months with my boyfriend by my side. I don't know what was anchoring me in Miami. This was the first time I felt so strongly about staying.

My chest was beating rapidly as it pounded its way forward, almost breaking my bones, ripping my skin just to get out. My stomach was in knots and it was wrung harder and harder until moisture was nonexistent. My mouth was dry as the Sahara.

"But you're 18 now." My father clarified as he took a step closer to me, holding my arms. "You have a choice and you don't have to choose right away. We're moving in November."

I nodded as I slowly swiveled towards the door and out to look for reprieve, for Camila. Why Camila? I don't know but it seemed as though I was floating and that my soul had managed to drag me along with it. I just wanted Camila and I was more than pleased to find her rushing towards me. To my dismay, her brows were stitched together and her face just mirrored my own. What is going on?

"Lo, I have to go." She hastily said. She shook her head as she swallowed hard "Austin needs me." Her eyes were oozing with an unspoken apology but I could not hold it against her.

I tried to speak but I could not produce vibrations to make sound, my vocal chords seemed paralyzed.

But I need you, too. I should have said it, but I didn't. Instead, I nodded and let her go. Again, I watched her back as it disappeared; this time, my front door swallowed her image and I watched her disappear on the other side with my heart along with her.

A spark of hope glimmered as the same barrier pushed open. I thought it was Camila, I prayed for it to be Camila but it wasn't. It was a blonde, one I was not particularly looking forward to seeing. She was in her typical short shorts and tight top and it was not going to go well with my parents.

She showed herself in and engulfed me in a hug, meeting me by the staircase. I was dreading it despite my need for comfort. But I mustered up the strength to smile as she let go of me. It seems as though my brain was still working.

"Let's go get you some food." I suggested but she was quick to decline.

Instead of formalities, I dove right into the water and I asked her questions I knew I shouldn't have but my curiosity got the best of me. "What's the deal with Austin and Camz?"

She furrowed her brows but shrugged as she answered. "They're best friends. Camz has a lot of them; best friends, I mean." She emphasized my nickname for my dear friend but she managed to violate it just by saying it making me cringe. "But she and Austin man-w***e, Mahone are tight. Like, really tight." She clarified, ridiculing the brunette boy's last name.

Something stuck to me, her reverse pet name for Austin. I narrowed my eyes and looked at her inquisitively. Before I could think about it, I fired away. "What do you mean man-w***e?"

"Over the summer, man-w***e dated at least four girls. Everyone thought he was sleeping with all of them; there were lots of rumors." She rolled her eyes. "Nobody really likes him, even your Camila's group of friends. But she believes in him. He trusts her. She, on the other hand, has trust issues."

My Camila? She has trust issues, too? "Are they...dating?" I cautiously asked as my pulse quickened. I was not prepared for an answer but the words escaped my mouth.

"They should." She let out a breath in amusement as she crossed her arms. Her eyes managed to look evil. "Mahone could loosen Cabello up." She chuckled.

"Don't talk about her like that." I muttered through gritted teeth. I clenched my fists as my entire torso was feeling warmer due to my aggravation. I care about Camila and I was tired of her undermining my friend.

"Why? Are you stopping me?" She raised her brows as if I was just her minion; challenging me. "Are you jealous, Lolo?" She smirked with that glint of maliciousness in her eyes.

"Just stop." I demanded as I left her standing there. I joined Dinah, Normani and Ally in the living room. They were with my younger sister, Taylor and they all seemed to get along.

Am I jealous? My sexuality had been questioned for the first time in my meek existence and even I could not fully comprehend what was going on with me. This has never happened before. I know I'm bisexual but nobody else has pointed it out to me. Am I simply gay? How does Gavin fit in all of this? I did not even have answers. Nothing made sense. I should be happy. I have everything I could ever ask for. I should be.

They were talking about homecoming and how their crushes had asked them to be their dates. Gavin would go ballistic if I even went with a guy friend. He had blatantly told me that. I tried to listen to the conversation around me; to engage in it. I tried to smile along with them, laugh along. I tried to be calm. But my mind was running lose, wandering away without my permission. And there was one person I really, urgently needed.

I pulled my phone out as I excused myself from my friends. I went out of the house and into the front porch. The cool breeze of the night made me close my eyes as I savored the minuscule peace it has inflicted upon me. I was not sure where the blonde was and how much trouble she could cause. But quite frankly, I couldn't care less.

I paced around until I reached the pavement in front of my house as I waited for my call to be received. My heart was erratically and painfully throbbing which made me take deeper breaths. There were various cars parked on the side of the road from all the guests that were inside our apartment.

When I heard that little sound that signaled the receipt, I stood frozen.

"Camz?" My voice came out shaking and I had not intended for it to be. I grasped my phone tightly as I pushed it further against my ear.

"Lauren?" Camila's voice sounded concerned. "Are you ok?"

I shook my head as I muttered, "No." There was no use in lying now. I used to always just depend on me but I felt insufficient.

"Hold on, I'll be right there." She immediately stated and I was beyond grateful.

Something bothered me though. The way she looked at me when she left. Somebody else needed her and I was being selfish. "What about Austin?"

"What about him?" She chuckled, making my inside flip out. "You're my friend, too."

I was not one to refuse the help I had been requesting for. I agreed without even trying to complain anymore. I paced around in front of my house once more as I waited for the brown eyed brunette.

Within ten minutes, the familiar gray pick up truck showed up and parked on the other side of the street. Camila pushed her door open and came out with one hand holding a small tub of ice cream, other a spoon.

I immediately walked towards her but stayed on my street, just looking at her. She was in powder blue pants, a white shirt and a dark jacket that resembled a blazer, sleeves resting in the middle of her forearm. She was attractive and I cannot believe I even thought about that.

She beamed at me as she yelled, "How do you say stressed backwards?"

I chuckled as I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know."

"Desserts!" She immediately retorted followed by that giggle that sends me into euphoria. "And guess who bought ice cream?" She raised the tub up.

"You!" I exclaimed as I threw my arms out in the air.

We both devoured the dessert as we sat in the back of her car, sharing the same spoon. She never asked me what happened. She just sat there and for some reason and that was enough for me.

But I wanted to tell her and so I did. She looked worried but then successfully went back to being the constant calming force in my life. She was understanding and compassionate and I was at awe by her.

"Do you want to go?" She queried after a good moment of silence. She was looking out into the sky, her gaze never faltering.

"I should feel like I do. I mean, I'm used to moving so much and leaving everyone behind." But they weren't you. What is it about you, Camila Cabello? I shrugged my shoulders as I closed my eyes. "Dad is giving me a choice though but I'd be without my family. It sucks either way."

She finally shifted her gaze, her eyes shined despite the dim lit night sky. "I'm sorry."

Camila threw her arm out as she swiveled her entire body to face me. She was doing something she had never done to me in all the days that I have known her. But I was not going to complain, I was going to savor it. And there it was, her arms wrapped around my figure as her body was firmly pressed against mine, causing fireworks to explode from my heart and sending a spine tingling sensation to run through my limbs. My eyes immediately closed as I took a deep breath. It felt great to be held by Camila Cabello.

We stayed latched onto each other for a long time and I was contended. But there was a question I needed to ask and without breaking the embrace, I muttered, "Hey Camz, are you going to homecoming?"

I wanted to spend time with her instead, before I had to leave; in case I decided to go.

"I have to." She grumbled; her voice resonated in my ear as the vibrations caused my shoulders to feel prickly, the good kind.

"Oh." I was quite disappointed yet I was bracing for another one as I continually asked away, "You don't like your date? What's with the 'you have to' business?"

Camila chuckled as she loosened her grip on me and separated our bodies. Immediately, I felt cold. My body yearned for the warmth that only she could give me.

"I'm part of this committee or something, after that, I'm gone." She explained as she scrunched up her features. "Are you going?"

I was curious about the committee she was talking about but I was too consumed in my own feelings that I overlooked that curiosity.

"So, you don't have a date? I don't really know." I shrugged my shoulders as I swayed my head from side to side. "Well, it depends actually." I pursed my lips.

She furrowed her brows, leaning closer to me. "On what?"

I smirked as I bobbed my brows playfully. "If you would be the muse to my being the escort?" I was serious despite how humorous I tried to look.

"Are you asking me out?" She mirrored my expressions. She shook her head, cackling. "Lauren Jauregui pulling some smooth moves on me." She playfully brushed her shoulder.

I was left speechless which made her withdraw her joke. She was unaware about how serious I was and my speech impediment was because I was in awe of her.

"I'm just playing, Lo." She waved her hand dismissively.

"I wasn't." I seriously muttered. I shook my head as I looked at those brown eyes of hers. "Would my friend accompany me to homecoming?"

She shrugged her shoulders as she flashed me that incredibly beautiful smile of hers. "Why not?"

I was developing something for Camila. Before this ever happened, it would have been unthinkable but all I could do right now is suppress what little ember it held. I know I wouldn't just overwhelm it with water and kill it mercilessly because I could not deny it to myself that I, too, would be hurt if I didn't let the fire burn enough, hot enough to diminish the clouds that had dimmed my mind.

It was time that led me to realize what I had felt towards the younger brunette and it still is time that will help me see things clearly.

I wanted for the flame to go away for many reasons but none of them greater than knowing that she might not feel the same way. Heck, she's barely affectionate towards me.