Not Quite the Opposites (camren)

13 - You're Mine, Too, My Confidant

People have different ways to cope with adversities; Camila's is to smile at them and hope they go away. And to her, if life gives you lemons; you don't just make something as simple as lemonade. The quaint mixture of sugar, water and lemon juice does provide comfort on a hot day but according to Camila, she'd make something more exquisite like a desert.

How I cope with things? I bottle it up until I am too consumed by my thoughts that I become numb to what others are feeling. And that is how I hurt Camila Cabello.

It was starting to rain quite heavily when Camila and I were walking towards her car. The droplets of water gently splattered my bare shoulders which prompted her to look at me. There was so much affection in those brows eyes than I have ever seen before. She then shuffled her way out of her blazer and handed her blazer to me.

"I know it's quite cliché but I know you're cold." She monotonously stated and I knew she wasn't going to let me decline. Her lips formed a straight line; no, she didn't smile still. It was killing me.

"Thanks." I said loud enough for her to hear.

I swung the jacket to the back and slid my arms in the sleeves. I instantly felt warm and the familiar scent of her lavender and green tea perfume, laced with Camila's scent. I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath, smelling the fragrance within the jacket.

The car ride was spent in silence. Other than the burbling noise of the car engine and the gentle pitter patter of the rain, everything was quiet. I was hoping she would say something else after she offered me the jacket but she didn't. There wasn't even a song playing in the background.

It was deafening.

I was too afraid to speak but I did. I shifted so that my entire body was facing her, slightly lifting my left leg up to the seat.

"Camz, please don't punish me." I desperately pleaded. Her silent treatment was absolute torture. I was remorseful and guilty at the same time. It was a toxic mix to my gut.

There was silence yet again until I heard her sigh.

"Was it about the kiss?" Camila asked with such hostility in her tone. She gripped onto the wheel tightly, her knuckles were emerging, pushing the thin skin outward.

The impact of her question hit me with such force, I was thrown off. My fear of inflicting more damage was prevalent. "Wh...what?" I stammered breathlessly.

"You, avoiding me. Was. It. About. The. Kiss?" The brown-eyed brunette emphasized every word in her question and my heart pounded harder and harder the more she progressed with each one. Despite only seeing one side of her pretty face, the silhouette the dim lights created emphasized her hostile expression.

"No. It wasn't." I shakily retorted. My lungs felt like they were compressed into paper and the only way to breathe was to sigh. I ran a hand through my hair. "Gavin."

She nodded and I could see her clench her jaw from the slight movement.

"I'm sorry we kissed." It was the first time she sounded remorseful; washing her aggression slightly.

"Camz, I kissed you." I explained, emphasizing on who initiated the kiss. I held onto her arm. To my surprise, she didn't flinch. I let out a breath in relief. "Why are you apologizing?"

Camila shook her head as she rapidly blinked her eyes. "I just...it's just...I kind of helped you cheat on him." She swallowed hard, as evidenced by the movement on her throat. "I'm big on loyalty and trust and yet there I was, helping someone cheat on another someone. f*****g pathetic."

She put her left palm on her forehead as she shook her head again. Her elbow rested by the window while her other hand continued to maneuver the wheel. She took a deep breath and breathed out through her mouth. The concerned look she gave me after the kiss had made sense. Even if it wasn't her fault, she was blaming herself and I couldn't let her take the fall for me.

"It's ok." I reassured her, rubbing her arm. I liked it. I thought to myself.

"It was nothing, by the way." My friend calmly muttered. I was the opposite of calm. I was heartbroken. I know I wanted my feelings to go away but hearing her say it just broke me. But I had no right to be hurt. "It didn't mean anything to you, did it? If it didn't, then were all good. We can pretend it never happened."

The feeling in my chest could only be explained by being stabbed repeatedly, salt being rubbed on the open cuts, being drenched in gasoline, set on fire, and stomped by giants. My poor heart.

We arrived at her beach house shortly after. The familiar contemporary house with varied shapes and clean lines which is white and mostly concrete and stone is accentuated by earthy wood designs greeted my eye sight. I still cannot get over how massive and gorgeous the Cabello house is.

A steel overhang shades the front walkway leading to the house that is surrounded in in lush grassy areas and enclosed by seamless stonewalls. Camila drove to the entrance of the spacious underground garage with a four-car capacity which was to the right side of the house.

She shut the engine off and looked at me for the first time since handing me her blazer. She c****d her head slightly, suggesting we go in the house. I followed her towards the only door which was on the same floor that leads to the lower level lounge which they converted into a home cinema complete with black leather home theater chairs; three rows with four seats each. A colossal flat screen TV is screwed to one side. It was the only dim-lit room in that house.

The room is shielded by heavy drapery and upon climbing the wide hardwood stairs is the dining room where I had a first glimpse of the numerous long wide windows and walkways leading to different rooms. The high ceilings and white walls made their house look even more spacious.

Straight ahead is the wide kitchen with a marble island. To the left is a spacious closet for that houses the numerous drapes, bed spreads, blankets and the like. Going further in are three doors; one for her parents' room, her younger sister's room and the huge master bathroom.

My favorite side of the house is the right wing which leads down the hallway and into another lounge that is quite open, making the cold night breeze pass through freely. A telescope stands right, in front of the wide window that is overlooking the ocean, ready for star gazing. Right next to the said area is a wood deck which is yet another lounge that leads to a lap pool.

Further into the right wing, next to hallway, up the stairs is Camila's haven; two solid walls separating her from the kitchen and the living room; from the other bathroom; one side shielded by cool white shutters hiding the wide windows; and the last one has a humungous sliding glass door, leading out into her own personal balcony with a small garden, overlooking the pool area.

Their furniture were all neutral colors which blended well with the hardwood floors and the white walls. I was in love with their house. But I was most likely more in love with the girl that lives there.

"Make yourself comfortable." Camila opened her bedroom door for me, letting me through first. At least, she's talking.

I sat on her king sized bed and looked straight out through the glass door. The stars were covered by the dark clouds yet I could see brightness out in the horizon. I still had her blazer on and I was too comfortable to let it go.

She walked towards a large mahogany dresser that was placed against the side where the shutters are. She pulled a drawer and picked out some shorts and an oversized sweater for her. She clutched onto her choice of clothing and walked towards the door.

"You can pick any kind of clothes you want to wear for the night. They're in the drawer. I'll just change and grab us some food."

I reluctantly nodded and stood up the moment she closed the door once again, leaving me alone.

"I'm sorry, Camz." I whispered.

I got dressed in her sweats and an oversized shirt, and joined her down to the indoor lounge where she was laying out some varied food choices; ranging from fruits to steaks. She even had a wide range of refreshments. I caught myself chuckling; making my weary friend look up indifferently.

"Are we expecting company?" I cautiously approached her as I sat on the couch.

Her eyes wandered from side to side as she pursed her lips. She looked as guilty as a puppy. "I didn't know what you wanted to eat."

I bit my lips, preventing myself from laughing at her sheer cuteness. I rubbed my belly, as I sat straight, "I'm actually kind of hungry."

That night, I decided it was best to tell her the truth than pretend that everything is alright. I told her about Gavin's reaction to my not moving, including the ultimatum he just set. Somehow, despite my predicament, talking about my problems and fears, especially to Camila, made me feel like a ton of weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Camila comforted me in the best way she could. She was cautious at first, she wouldn't even come close to me. Eventually, she pulled me in for a much needed hug as she rubbed my back soothingly. As much as I wanted to preserve the serenity of the situation, I just felt an explosion of love inundated by nerves and fear that my secrets would be revealed.

"I'm sorry, Lo." I felt her kiss my head which made my eyes automatically shut. "Can we stick to honesty next time? You should have just told me. I would have understood and left you alone like you wanted me to."

"I'm really sorry." I repeated sincerely as I dug my head onto her firmer.

"Had I known you would hug me, I would have." I jested to make the mood lighter. "I like hugs."

"No kidding?" She pulled away with furrowed brows.

I smiled, shaking my head.

"I didn't know." The younger girl muttered.

"You don't hug me enough." I jokingly moped which made her pull me back, tightening her grasp. "I like hugs, especially from people I love."

My eyes widened as the word escaped my lips. My stomach was in knots and I felt as if I was suffocating. To my relief, she didn't tense up. Instead, she sighed.

"I love you, Lauren." She affectionately professed. I had never heard those words said with such fearlessness and sincerity.

And that was how Camila drove me insane. It was the boost that led me to fall intrepidly in love with her. And because of that, a new problem arose; how do I break up with my boyfriend?

"I love you, too, Camz." I breathed.

There was a guest room beside Camila's bathroom and she gave me that space at the end of the night; thinking of my own privacy. It was the first time I have ever slept over at her house. After she said good night, she attempted to return to her room but I asked her to lay down next to me until we were too tired to talk.

The brown-eyed brunette ended up falling asleep. Her steady breathing is one of the calmest things I have ever heard; one of them is her heartbeat, too.

I smiled at her serene features and leaned in to kiss her cheek. My lips were painstakingly close to hers and I could not suppress the spine tingling sensation that rocked my body. I ended up falling asleep only minutes later.

I woke up to the serene sound of waves crashing against the shore, coupled by birds chirping about. It was one of the best ways to wake up in. It was 5:30 in the morning and I groggily looked around the foreign surroundings. I, especially, was feeling a slight pressure against half of my body only to realize that Camila was cuddled close to me. Her forehead was resting against my jaw and her breathing hit my collar bone, making bumps erupt on my arms. I took a deep breath. This is the life.

It wasn't long until I heard little footsteps running towards our direction. One door slammed and the little pitter-patter could be heard again until our door swung open with a miniature Camila, around six or seven years old, rushed towards us.

"Kaki! I'm hungry!" She complained as she ran towards the bed while rubbing her pretty little eyes. "You have to make me breakfast. I want wa-"

Her eyes widened as she froze right in front of the bed, only realizing she was facing me; a stranger. "Hi!" She cautiously waved at me with a hesitant grin.

"Hello, pretty girl." I greeted her in a quiet, beaming brightly as best as I could. "Do you want me to cook for you?"

"Mama said not to talk to strangers." She muttered, looking to her sleeping sister.

I let out a breath in amusement. She was too adorable for words. I scrunched up my features with a toothless grin painted on my lips. "Well, then." I carefully wriggled loose of Camila. "Hi, I'm Lauren. What's your name?"

"You're Lauren?" The little girl took a sharp breath, raising her shoulders. She grinned. "Kaki talks about you a lot! I'm Sofi."

Her voice was slightly louder which caused me to put my index finger against my lips and pointed to her sister. The youngster immediately covered her mouth with both her hands as her eyes were widened. I grinned at her; her adorableness was getting way out of hand.

Somehow, the words of the young one gave me a glimmer of hope; a hope that she might feel the same way.

"You know my name, I know yours." I pointed out. "We're not strangers now, are we?"

Sofi shook her head and looked at me inquisitively.

"So..." I elongated the pronunciation of the two-letter word. "Can I cook for you now?"

Miniature Camila nodded her head eagerly. I was finally able to untangle myself fully from the girl who holds my heart. I slipped out of bed and held my hand out for her little sister to hold.

Sofi told me their parents haven't been home yet and are probably busy with work, and that her nanny is fixing her room. They actually have a maid. As I cooked, the little girl told me about her relationship with Camila. I had discovered that my friend's tendency to care for other people came naturally to her. The little girl told me about her sister bathing her, changing her, feeding her, and playing with her.

Camila was assuming her parents' job. It was mind boggling and ridiculously endearing at the same time. If I was forced to be responsible, it was because I wanted to. If Camila was forced to be responsible, it was because her parents were always absent. We have two different reasons but one very similar outcome. And my friend was increasingly becoming more and more attractive to me.

With waffles on the table, as per request by little Sofia, Camila groggily walked in to the dining room.

"Why didn't you wake me, Sof?" She complained, making her sister giggle.

I admired her sleepy expressions, thinking about waking up to that every single morning of the rest of my life. It was just too good to be reality though.

"Lauren cooked for me." The little girl proudly stated as she shoved her mouth with a big bite of waffles.

"Come on, Camz." I stood up and pulled her to the table. "I hope you like my cooking." I nervously stated.

She glanced up at me, smiling. "Thank you, Lolo."

"You're welcome." I grinned, mirroring her gesture.

It was an interesting breakfast with a little seven year old. She animatedly spoke, her eyes would speak things her words couldn't say. Her big sister was smiling at her affectionately which made my heart swell and flutter; or whichever one is appropriate. She had my heart in the palm of her hand and she doesn't even know it.

Since I have come to terms with my feelings for the brunette, I wanted to learn more. I particularly wanted to know who Austin Mahone is to her and it was unnervingly stressful to just wallow in my thoughts. There was a problem with asking big questions. I had to be big and mature enough to handle answers that I didn't hope for.

After Sofi's nanny took her to take a bath; Camila and I went out to the wood deck and sat on the lounge chairs. Her eyes were closed and I could tell she wasn't really sleeping.

The moment I mustered enough courage to speak, I tapped her shoulder. "Camz, can I ask you something?"

She shifted her head and faced me, nodding with an encouraging smile.

"Who is Austin to you?" I acted casually, like it was just any other question. My chest was on a rampage. It was an enraged gorilla, pounding against my ribs, wanting to get out.

Camila giggled a little. "He's my best friend. We grew up together." She explained, reminiscing the old days. "He's a pretty good guy. He's everybody's friend."

Yup, Janette Zack is full of bullshit. I gritted my teeth at the memory of the blonde.

"He actually protects me. He keeps me safe." She continued.

"From Jette?" I asked rather hastily; desperate for answers.

"Y-" She hesitated, averting my gaze and I knew why from Ally and my little conversation. "What? No."

I sighed as I reached for her hand, unconsciously interlocking our fingers. I squeezed her hand. "Camz, don't lie to me."

The brown-eyed girl rolled her eyes. "Fine." She grumbled, nodding her head aimlessly. "Yeah, from Empress Fakeness, too."

I couldn't suppress the laughter that was lurching around as I realized how funny the nickname is. Camila yanked me from my bellowing by pulling on my hand. I apologized and we went back into looking out to the horizon but I thought of another question.

"Are you sure he doesn't mean anything more than a friend?" I pressed further.

"Yeah, I am." She retorted, keeping our hands clasped to each other.

"There's an abundance of those people in your life. Your best friends." I teased.

Camila chuckled, looking back to me. "I only have five of them." She lightly smiled. "I would much rather have a handful of real friends than have millions of fake ones."

I counted the three girls we hang out with plus Mr. Mahone which only equaled to four. Who could the other one be?

"I only have one and that's 18 years of my life." I stated, shrugging my shoulders.

She tightened her grip on my hand, rubbing her thumb against my skin. "I know you don't trust easily, Lo. I understand that." She nodded. "A lot of times, people think they're too different to be accepted for who they truly are. But I think what makes people unique is the most beautiful about them."

I was taken aback by her words...again. It was as if her words were mostly of poetry and I could not help but feel strongly drawn to her. What is it with smart women and I?

"That's why you're my best friend." I confessed, beaming a toothless grin.

The three girls and I were close but I hung out with Camila enough to trust her with things I couldn't tell other people but my friendship with Dinah Jane, Normani and Ally Brooke was going to the same direction.

"You're mine, too, Lo."

I know she didn't mean "mine" in that context but her words caused a commotion in my insides and I just wanted to jump in the pool and laugh all day. I was genuinely happy. As far as coping mechanisms go, I'm trashing mine. Talking about my feelings made me happier than I ever expected.