Chapter 4-1
2007 Words
Blue light from behind the bar illuminated a big man with a red goatee as he poured a shot of whiskey. The music was too loud, the air stuffy, and there were people all over the damn place. But right then, none of that mattered.
Ben looked up, his mouth stretching into a smile. “Excellent,” he said with a nod. “How "bout another?”
Before the other man could say one word, he grabbed the shot glass, brought it to his lips and chugged it back. It burned on the way down – good whiskey should have a kick – but that only made him feel more invigorated.
The bartender smiled, shaking his head. “I guess you"re having a little celebration tonight.” He retrieved another shot glass, filled it with whiskey and left it there for Ben. “Anything in particular?”
“Freedom, my friend.”
“Bad breakup?”
Ben was smiling into his lap, his cheeks burning as he remembered that fight with Larani. “Something like that,” he admitted. “I just think it"s good to feel appreciated. Do you know what I mean?”
“I do.”
Instincts from years in the field made it impossible for Ben to completely tune out awareness of his surroundings. The bar was situated on a small balcony that overlooked the dance floor, a balcony with square tables positioned beneath hanging lanterns. Maybe a dozen other people were up here.
Though he never so much as glanced in their direction, he was very much aware of a group of young people who stood just a few paces behind him. They were loud and, if he was honest, a little annoying. But harmless nonetheless.
“So, who was it?” the bartender asked.
Tilting his head back, Ben blinked at the man. “Who was what?” he inquired. “I do believe I"ve had my fair share of "its" in my life. You"re going to have to be just a little bit more specific.”
The other man stood behind the bar with hands braced on the counter, an intense look on his face. “Whoever it was you broke up with,” he explained. “Who was it that broke your heart.”
“Would you believe the Justice Keepers?”
The bartender arched an eyebrow.
Ben took the second shot glass and threw that back before slamming it down on the counter. “I used to work with the Keepers as a consultant,” he added. “But we didn"t see eye to eye.”
“That a fact?”
Setting both elbows on the counter, Ben rested his chin upon the knuckles of both fists. “Come on now,” he teased. “You don"t really want to talk about the Justice Keepers. Why don"t we get to what"s really on your mind?”
A sudden outburst of nervous laughter told Ben that he had hit the target dead on. “Maybe I don"t,” the bartender said. “So what"s your name?”
“Tanaben.”
“Pleased to meet you, Tanaben. I"m Damos.
The doors to his quarters aboard the star-liner Alarinto slid apart, and Jack found the small sitting room inside lit by candles. There wasn"t much in the way of floor space. Just a small table and a couch along the back wall.
AlarintoCassi sat on that couch with one leg crossed over the other, hands folded primly on her knee. Her pink hair had been shortened to a pixie cut that seemed very much at odds with the stern expression on her face. “You didn"t get back to me last night,” she said. “A girl might think you"re pushing her away.”
Biting his lip, Jack took one look around the room and then felt his eyebrows climb up his forehead. “Again with the candles,” he said. “This is really becoming a motif with you; if you"re not careful, someone might think you"re running out of ideas.”
“You don"t enjoy the ambiance?” she asked. “You know, I did go to quite a lot of trouble to arrange this.”
Grinning as his cheeks burned with furious heat, Jack shook his head. “Don"t ever underestimate the romantic potential of a good halogen flashlight.” He marched into the room and noted the sound of the door closing behind him. “So, what"s up?”
Cassi looked up at him, blinking slowly. “I thought we could resume our date,” she said, rising to stand before him. “But if you"d rather sit alone and mope in the dark, I"ll try not to take it personally.”
“It"s not that I don"t like you.”
“No?”
“I promise.”
She crossed her arms and stood before him with her head bowed, heaving out a soft sigh. “Then precisely what is it, Jack?” Like a ghost, she flowed around him and paced to the opposite wall. “Are you still moping over Lenai?”
What he wouldn"t give to avoid having this uncomfortable conversation; the disdain in her tone was turning his blood to acid, and he was going to have to watch himself or he might say something stupid; God help him; this was why sane people didn"t get involved with coworkers.
Jack dropped onto the couch, setting elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. “I don"t want to talk about this.” His voice grated as he spoke. “I"m really not looking for advice.”
With his eyes shut, he could still perceive Cassi leaning against the opposite wall, drumming fingers on her thigh. Her gaze was directed at something in the corner, as if she couldn"t bring herself to look at him. “It"s fairly simple, Jack,” she said. “Anna is not coming back, and you need to accept that.”
In three quick strides, she strode across the room and stood over him with a great big smile on her face. “So you can either pine for who doesn"t want you,” she said. “Or you can have a romantic evening with a woman who does.”
He looked up and then squinted at her, holding her gaze for a very long moment. “Okay,” he said, nodding once. “You"ve convinced me.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that.”
Cassi"s hands seized his shoulders and pushed him back against the couch cushions. Before he could speak even one word, she was crawling on top of him, locking lips with him and kissing him hard.
Of course, it wasn"t nearly as simple as Cassi made it out to be. Somewhere in the back of his mind, thoughts of Anna distracted him. He could ignore them for now – lose himself in the moment – but wouldn"t that be wrong? He didn"t love Cassi! Not that love was required for s*x, but if she was looking for something more…
But then, wasn"t this what he was supposed to do? Move on? Get over his broken heart? Anna had made it clear that she didn"t want him to contact her. Maybe this would make it easier to forget. Maybe he wouldn"t feel tempted to call Anna and ask her what the hell went wrong.
supposed“Are you sure-” Jack mumbled.
Cassi"s lips found the soft skin on the side of his neck, and she kissed him fiercely. “Shut up and enjoy yourself.”
Ben woke to the feeling of warmth against his cheek, and when his eyes fluttered open, he saw only a dark room. The sound of Damos"s breathing in his ear was soothing, to say the least.
Curled up with his head on the other man"s chest, Ben took a moment to just enjoy the contentment he felt. This wasn"t love; he had experienced that enough times to know the difference, but it was nice to feel connected to someone. To feel wanted even after all of the pain he had been through in the last few months.
He rolled onto his back.
Through the window on his left, he saw the city lights under a night sky. The warm breeze of a summer night was a pleasant sensation, and he saw purple moonlight glinting off the windows of nearby skyscrapers.
He sat up.
Next to him, Damos stirred and opened his eyes. “Hey,” he whispered, staring up at the ceiling. “Everything all right?”
Ben felt warmth in his face as he looked down to stare into his lap. “Yeah, I"m all right.” He reached up to run fingers through his hair. “I just…wasn"t expecting any of this to happen tonight.”
In the soft, violet light, he saw the other man"s lips curl into a smile. “Well, I wasn"t expecting you to stay,” Damos said. “At the bar, you seemed like the kind of guy who is not really interested in commitments.”
Ben rose from the bed, stretching his arms into the air as he cleared the cobwebs from his mind. He was too wired to sleep anyway. “Sometimes I feel that way,” he said, making his way over to the window. “I"ve had people shoot at me; I"ve had telepaths mess with my head. Bleakness take me, I"ve had a room try to suck the air away and suffocate me. But I"ve discovered that one of the most dangerous things you can do is fall in love.”
“Someone hurt you real bad.”
Bracing hands on the windowsill, Ben leaned forward to peer into the empty night. He frowned, shaking his head. “You have no idea,” he said. “Sorry if this hurts, but I just don"t think I"m ready to trust.”
He looked over his shoulder.
Damos was sitting against the headboard with the blankets pulled up to his belly, staring blankly at the wall. “If I was in any danger of being hurt by a man who just wasn"t ready to commit,” he said, “I wouldn"t have brought you home.”
“Fair point.”
“So, what happened with you?”
“The last time a guy I liked found out about that,” Ben said, “he ended up telling me he wanted nothing to do with me.”
“That bad, huh?”
Mopping a hand over his face, Ben let out a grunt. “It was pretty damn bad,” he whispered. “You might say that I broke one of our culture"s most sacred taboos. I gave weapons to colonists on the Fringe.”
“Oh, is that all?”
When he turned around, the other man was sitting with arms crossed, shaking his head as if his nonchalance about Ben"s crime should have been obvious. “I don"t buy into the party line about the Fringe.”
“You think our colonists should defend themselves?”
“Damn right, I do.”
Well…Was it really that easy? Join a team of people who appreciated his technical expertise, find a man who accepted his past? This last year had convinced Ben that pretty much nothing was that easy. A part of him kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He"d experienced more than his fair share of pain, and he knew what it was like to have everything taken away from him. It gave a man perspective. If he was going to lose everything he cared about tomorrow, he may as well enjoy having it today.
Ben made his way back to the bed.
He threw himself down on the mattress, rolled over and caressed Damos"s face with one hand. Then he was kissing the other man, losing himself in this simple act of passion. For once, everything was all right.
- Writer
