Demons and Magic

CHAPTER 11: i***t Broom

It felt like the longest ten minutes of his life. As the clock’s muffled ticking resounded in his ears, he felt the need to move around. So he did. He mopped the floors, dusted the shelves for

the second time that day, and even rearranged the items near the counter all the while gazing repeatedly out at the streets.

Once or twice he whirled around to face the door only to be disappointed when he saw that it was just some random customer. He felt bad.

That was the first time he’s ever said something horrible. Maybe it was because of the fact that he knows that she’s a demon. They shouldn’t have feelings, should they? After all, they still are celestial beings despite what other people say.

But why does he feel that Alastair was hurt?

“Aw, s**t!” someone cursed from in front of him and he looked up from finishing the last of his cup noodles, his eyes wide with relief when he saw Alastair who was now holding a cup of tea in her hands. “Damn you, I spilled it on myself.”

Nathan attempted to reach out to her to trap her in a bear hug but Alastair had already held one hand out to stop his face from getting any closer and sipped on her tea like any decent British person would do — with one pinky up.

“I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean any of that, I swear. I don’t even know why it suddenly came out of my mouth. I—”

“Shh,” Alastair cut him off and waltzed around the convenience store once again, pretending that Nathan never said anything just a couple minutes back. She gave Nathan a quick — but definitely evil — smile and then started trailing her eyes on the products that were displayed, ignoring his presence immediately.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his tone tired, and sat back on his seat with disappointment lining up his face.

Okay, maybe they can have feelings. But unlike humans, they aren’t really all that much about hanging on to it. She sure looks fine as hell to him.

“To buy food. What else?” she replied, scanning the cup of Korean noodles in her hand. “Oh, and I heard your boss say that everything’s on the house. Does that mean I have to go there to get free stuff? Because I checked the mechanic and it said that it means everything’s for free.”

“Wait— the mechanic?”

“Yeah,” Alastair answered matter-of-factly and closed her eyes, hovering her hands around the rows of chocolates like a seer trying to decide his fate. “His name is Goggle. The one you said that’s a search engine?”

“Oh, you mean— no. Actually, it’s called Google and no, it’s not a mechanic. How many times do I have to tell you?” Nathan just sighed in exasperation, sitting back down to run his hands through his hair. “You know what, I’m done explaining that to you. You sound like my grandmother. If you met her, the two of you would probably be best friends.”

“Ooh. Interesting. I’m meeting your family now?” Alastair gave him a lopsided grin that made him blush like a nine year old girl. “I didn’t know we were a thing.”

“That’s because we’re not,” he answered hastily as if that would help stop him getting flustered. “Now give me what you picked and I’ll pay for it. You can just pay me back when you have the money — and by that, I meant, real money. Not gold bars.”

“Eh.” Alastair pushed a bunch of the food she grabbed from the shelves and gave him a bored stare.

Nathan just rolled his eyes, silently thinking to himself whether the peace and quiet would be worthy of kicking Alastair out on the streets. And it’s not as if that’s just the only problem. She, like the demon that she is, does not know the worth of money for normal human beings who are trying to make a living. The food she wanted would cost Nathan two weeks worth of his meal.

And with the way he was raised by his parents, asking Alastair for that is not in the option.

“Aren’t you supposed to be stuffing your face up with a thousand-dollar caviar in some kind of five-star restaurant or something?”

Alastair snorted at this. “Trust me. It’s not as tasty as they make it appear to be. Those are just cured fish eggs that looks like papaya seeds. I tasted them back in ‘09, y’know.”

“I heard it tastes like the ocean.”

She gave him a blunt look and grabbed three pieces of Hershey’s chocolates, dumping it in front of him along with a hundred dollar bill that she got from God knows where. “And what makes you think that the ocean tastes great?”

He just shrugged and started scanning the food, silently thanking the Lord that she had finally acquainted herself with human money. “I don’t know. They make it seem so … beautiful.”

“Did you know that every ejaculation of a blue whale could produce up to 20 liters of sperm?”

Nathan turned to her with a shocked look, all of his thoughts rushing away. “Really?”

Alastair smiled wickedly and nodded. “Yeah. Why do you think the ocean tastes so salty?” she said and winked at him, taking a quick glance at the seafood cop noodles Nathan was still halfway from finishing with a knowing look. “Did I make you lose your appetite?”

He just gritted his teeth and slammed the drawer of the cash register close as he gave her a forced smile that’s close to being a declaration of his annoyance. “Here’s your change. Would you like me to put you in a bag for that?”

He wanted to add the phrase ‘you piece of sh*t’ but there’s a CCTV camera directly in front of the counter. Some of these cameras can record audio these days and he can’t afford to lose his job just because Alastair is an asshole.

“Nah, don’t sweat it. That’s not real seafood anyway. Noticed how their ‘shrimps’ resemble the texture of a Styrofoam?” She leaned in and cupped one hand around her mouth, whispering to him. “That’s because it is one.”

···

“I NEED YOU TO COOPERATE WITH ME, YOU DUMB F*CK!” Alastair’s voice bounced off of the thick walls of Mrs. Pratchett’s two storey apartment like thunder, the dark veins on her neck popping as her eyes grew silver.

Nathan sprinted up the stairs while still bringing with him the trash bag that he was supposed to be throwing out already.

“Hey, what’s going on?” he said as soon as the door flew open and Alastair turned to him with fury in her eyes, the vacuum cleaner that Josh had loaned them was now halfway from getting smashed into bits as she attempted to throw it out the window.

“This i***t broom won’t serve its purpose!” she said with contempt and threw the vacuum across the room. Thankfully, it landed on the pile of cushions down on the floor where Nathan had been sleeping on for the last couple weeks.

He just massaged his temples and sighed, lifting the vacuum up to make sure it wasn’t damaged and turned to Alastair. “That is because this is not a broom, okay? This is a vacuum.”

“That is an over glorified broom.”

“It is— you know what, never mind. I’ll do this myself later, okay? You just sit there and arrange your bed or something. You can at least do that, right?”

Alastair narrowed her eyes at him as if she had been offended by his question. “You think I’m dumb? I’m an immortal, you dull creature! And I will not be bullied by a—”

“Okay, that’s enough watching too much of The Avengers today.” He picked up his trash bag again and gave Alastair a warning look, pointing at the unmade bed behind her. “Clean that up. I’m not your housekeeper, Al.”

After a short while of cleaning up their room which consisted mainly of Nathan doing the work while Alastair played video games and even watched replays of wrestling matches, they both finally agreed to settle down and watch some movies to pass the time while he waited for his convenience store shift in the afternoon.

“Nathan, what’s a homo sapien?” Alastair asked out of nowhere and Nathan turned to her with a calm expression — the first time that day.

“It’s a species. It’s my species.”

She just nodded at this, her eyes drooping as her head fell constantly to the side which he found totally adorable. “So, what’s a homosexual, then?”

Six rhythmical knocks on the door and Nathan turned towards it, making sure to place a pillow on Alastair’s side before standing up to answer the door.

“Who is it?” he asked and opened the door.

Mrs. Pratchett smiled. “Hi. I hope I’m not disturbing you or anything.”

“Ah, no.” He smiled back, pointing at Alastair who was now fast asleep on his makeshift bed down on the floor. “We were just watching a movie. Why? Is there anything wrong?”

“No, but ah … there’s this black car that’s really expensive outside. I noticed it had been parked there since last night. Do you think you know who owns it? I’ve been asking our neighbors and they said it wasn’t theirs.”

“Oh. Yeah, a black Ferrari?”

“Is that the one with the horse on it?”

Nathan nodded and scratched the back of his neck, turning to Alastair again. “That’s actually hers. Did she park it wrong or something?”

“Oh, no, no, no. I was just asking to confirm it. I thought that the owner of that one was the new tenant up at Mrs. Kendricks’ apartment. I heard he came from a rich family.”

“Really?” he asked and glanced out the window towards the house directly across from theirs.

Mrs. Pratchett nodded. “Said that his name was Warren Castillo, the youngest son of the hottest Senator in town.”

“Wait … ” Nathan slowly turned his head in Mrs. Pratchett’s direction and stopped himself from letting his jaw drop fully on the ground. “He lives next door?”

She nodded again. “Yes, I heard he goes to the same school as you and Alastair. Oh, and I didn’t realize that Alastair was a rich kid too, herself. I mean, with a car like that?”

“Oh … yeah … it’s—” Nathan’s head just went blank.

There’s no way in hell that Warren Castillo would leave his multi-million dollar mansion for such a small apartment in their busy street. He must be planning something, right? After all, he still has a reputation to uphold.

True, he wasn’t messing with him a lot anymore but—

“No way,” Nathan said just as Mrs. Pratchett was going down the stairs and she turned to him again.

“What was that, dear?”

“Oh, nothing. I just realized something.”

“Oh.” She paused. “What is it?”

“I think Warren likes Alastair.”