Chapter Six — The Ugly Middle
382 Words
The first week was hell.
The second week was worse — because now she knew what hell felt like and couldn’t pretend it was temporary.
Her muscles ached constantly. Her appetite skyrocketed. Her mood swung wildly between hopeful and miserable.
She wanted to quit.
Every.
Single.
Day.
Every day, Caleb texted her.
You alive?
Gym in 30.
Proud of you.
Sometimes she ignored him.
Sometimes she cried in her car before going inside.
Sometimes she showed up anyway.
Week three: she noticed she could walk faster.
Week four: her jeans felt less tight.
Week five: she climbed three flights of stairs without stopping.
Small wins.
But the scale barely moved.
“This is pointless,” she muttered one afternoon, staring at the number. “I’ve been working my ass off for nothing.”
Caleb leaned against the bathroom doorframe. “That number doesn’t measure your stamina, your strength, or your discipline.”
“It measures my disappointment.”
He sighed. “Okay. But tell me this — do you feel better?”
“…Yes.”
“Stronger?”
“Yes.”
“More confident?”
“…Yes.”
“Then it’s not nothing.”
She crossed her arms. “I still hate mirrors.”
“Give it time.”
“I hate food now too,” she said. “Everything feels like a moral test.”
“That’s not what I want for you,” he said firmly. “Food isn’t punishment or reward. It’s fuel. You’re not failing because you eat pizza.”
She blinked. “I ate pizza last night.”
“And?”
“I felt guilty.”
“That’s bullshit,” he said. “Pizza didn’t make Ethan leave you. Pizza didn’t make your worth decrease. Pizza didn’t ruin your life.”
She laughed weakly. “You’re very passionate about pizza.”
“I will defend carbs with my life.”
She smiled despite herself.
Some days, she felt powerful.
Some days, she felt like a fraud.
Some days, she loved her body.
Some days, she hated it.
But she didn’t quit.
And slowly, something changed.
Not just physically.
Emotionally.
She stopped insulting herself in mirrors.
She stopped apologizing for eating.
She stopped shrinking into rooms.
She started standing taller.
Laughing louder.
Taking up space.
And Caleb noticed.
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