Le Desespoir: The Cursed Paradise

Small Talk

"Here," a voice said as a can of cold soda was placed in front of his face.

Austin looked up to see his older brother, noted the uncertain expression on his face before he took the drink from him and murmured his thanks. He opened the can and took a sip but didn't say anything else. They were at the hospital, waiting for news from the doctors. A few hours ago, Rachel Jamieson was wheeled into the operating room to remove the growth from her colon.

Jerome sighed as he sat next to Austin. He didn't say anything either because he had no idea what in the world he would say to him. He really did want to get to know his brother, but he felt awkward.

Austin was such a quiet boy that talking to him was like talking to a piece of furniture. Jerome was afraid that he might say or ask something that the other boy might not like and he'd stop talking to him completely. So, instead of asking his brother, he had hired a private detective to find out about him— and he'd been astonished about what he learned.

Rachel Jamieson had been his father's secretary and mistress— or, in this case, forced to be his mistress since Jerome found out that his father had somewhat blackmailed the woman into sleeping with him. But when she got pregnant, his father quickly abandoned her after giving her money and ordering her to abort the child.

Jerome had been shocked upon learning his father's transgressions. Never in his life did he imagine that the kind father who had always been there for him would be the same monster he had read on the detective's reports. It was a good thing that Jerome’s mother learned about Rachel, and she secretly helped her escape his father's clutches.

For a few years, the poor secretary was able to live comfortably with her son with the money she got from working at a paint factory as well as the allowance that Jerome’s mother sent them monthly. But when Austin turned ten, Jerome’s mother died from a car accident. The allowance stopped and their hardships began.

His father found out about Jerome’s mother's activities and, through her things, found Rachel’s whereabouts, making life difficult for her and his bastard son. She lost her job at the paint factory and was forced to wait tables at restaurants, getting by with the meager income and rare tips from patrons. She had to work longer hours too in order to support both herself and Austin who was still young— but not young enough not to understand what was going on.

It was a blessing that Austin had inherited the family's intellect, and got a scholarship. He didn't have to pay for his tuition, which meant that he didn't have to stop attending school.

Jerome was very thankful for that. He was already feeling guilty for having led a luxurious life while his brother barely scraped by. He wouldn't be able to sleep if Austin didn't have a chance to study too.

Jerome glanced at his younger brother's profile. No wonder his brother was so quiet and serious. After learning about what he'd been through, he could even understand if his younger brother hated him as he grew up. Even if it wasn't his fault, Jerome somehow felt so guilty, especially when he found out that the reason why their father had wanted to get rid of his other child was in order to 'protect' his heir, Jerome, from bad reputation.

It was why his old man had insisted Rachel do an abortion. It was the reason why he had made sure they lived a miserable life, trying to force them to the end of their ropes to probably end their own lives due to misery.

"I think she'll be okay," Jerome told Austin as he stared at the door of the OR, trying to start a conversation. "Her tumor has not metastasized, so, after her operation and chemotherapy she'll be okay."

He knew he was babbling but he really wanted to talk to him and he couldn’t find any other topic to talk about.

"I know," he heard Austin say and Jerome turned to his brother.

"My God, I'm such an i***t," Jerome said out loud. "I forgot you're a pre-med student."

Austin's course in college was Biology, hoping that one day, when he had enough money, he could continue studying medicine. Jerome knew he wanted to be a doctor. He scratched his head and felt his heart swell when his brother glanced at him with a small smile on his face.

"No, you're not an i***t," his younger brother disagreed. "You topped the national exams before you entered college," he added, which surprised Jerome, making him speechless.

Austin, on the other hand, realized that he had said too much and he looked at his older brother shyly. "I-I was twelve and I heard about you the first time so I kind of…checked," he explained, his voice getting smaller as he did.

Jerome studied his brother's embarrassed expression and couldn't help but feel happy. He took the exam nine years ago, and knowing that his brother checked him out even after everything he and his mother had been through made him feel hopeful. He just wished that, somehow, Austin would let his guard down around him so they'd be able to repair their bond which had been shattered even before they had met.

"You're not so bad yourself," Jerome told the younger boy.

Austin, after all, followed his footsteps when it was his turn to take the exam. He was also a top scorer. The reports even stated that many universities invited his younger brother to study in their schools for free. He had been doing well at school, actually— well, until his mother became ill and Austin started struggling with his studies and taking care of her. His university had actually expressed their displeasure in a not so subtle way.